The Tomb Of Our Forlorn Love

Ellary stumbled out of her hospital bed as soon as the nurse had retired to her room for the night and made her way toward a pile of her clothes at the end of her bed that James had brought for her to wear in case Madame Pomfrey released her anytime soon. Though she had yet to receive permission to leave, she had planned on sneaking out so she would be able to clean herself up a little before Remus woke up. The last thing she wanted to see was guilt that was far too often present in his golden eyes. That guilt and self-loathing broke her heart every time she had to see it and she certainly did not want to be the cause of it. She knew it wasn’t Remus’ fault about what had happened to her, it wasn’t anyone’s fault, and she didn’t want him taking the blame as always.

“Ellary?” the croaky voice made her gasp and drop the pair of jeans she was holding. “Ellary, how are you? How did it go?” her heart dropped at Remus’ voice.

‘He couldn’t have just held off on waking up for five more minutes,’ Ellary thought to herself, feeling a little frustrated.

“I- uh- it went okay…” Ellary trailed off, as she reluctantly turned around to face her boyfriend. The look that appeared on his face when he saw her from the front hit her like a sucker punch. Guilt clouded his beautiful eyes.

“Oh no, oh no,” he whispered, running his fingers through his hair. “I did that to you. I hurt you. I hurt you,” he was mumbled rapidly to himself, “I told you not come with me! I told you to leave me to myself! I can’t believe I did this… I am a monster,” he pounded the nightstand by his bed with his fist, causing Ellary to jump a little in fear; Remus was usually so calm.

“Remus please don’t say that,” Ellary said softly, giving up on her plan. She dropped her clothes and sat down on the edge of his bed. She made the move to take his hand in hers, but he immediately recoiled and hid it under the sheet. “Don’t do this, don’t blame yourself. These scratches aren’t exactly from you… I uh- I jumped out of a window, you see,” she began awkwardly.

“You jumped out of a window?” he nearly shouted.

On the other side of the room Sirius sprung awake at the noise, but instead of alerting his two friends he chose to remain silent and listen to the rest of their conversation. “I made you jump out a window, I can’t believe I attacked you…” he mumbled, tears had started to well up in his eyes and trickle down his pale cheeks.

“You didn’t attack me Remus, a werewolf did,” Ellary countered steadfastly, “You can’t control what happens during your transformation, it is not your fault. Remus, look at me right now!” Ellary ordered fiercely. Reluctantly he turned his face toward her, but he was unable to make eye contact, the shame was too heavy. Ellary placed one of her hands on each of his cheeks and slowly lifted his head, “This- none of this- is your fault,” she told him.

A long sigh left his lips and for a moment he seemed calmer, that is until he spotted something new.

“What is this?” he asked, touching the edge of the large, white bandage poking out of the hem of her t-shirt. Ellary silently cursed herself, she had so desperately wanted to avoid having to answer that question.

“It’s- it’s a cut,” she mumbled, breaking her eye contact with him and biting one of her nails.

He raised his eyebrow at her, evidently not believing the simple explanation. Before she could react he reached over and lifted her shirt, letting out a gasp when he saw what was underneath.

“You’re- you’re still bleeding,” he mumbled, “I did that didn’t I? It was me,” his voice cracked with emotion. “Werewolf cuts don’t ever really heal, Ella! You’re going to feel that forever!”

Ellary rolled her eyes as if it was no big deal, which to her it really wasn’t. “Remus I can deal with a twinge in my side every now and then, it’s not a big deal- really. I’ve felt worse,” she countered.

“But it is a big deal, Ellary! Don’t you get it? I’m dangerous! What if I had actually bitten you, huh? How would you have liked that? What if we were to stay together for – you know – a long time and well, what kind of husband would I be? I turn into a bloody beast once a month!”

“Remus, we’re only sixteen, remember? Calm down, would you? This is not the end of the world. You’re taking this worse than me!”

“Of course I am! To cause someone you love- yes, Ellary, I said love,” he interjected, when her eyes bulged at the word, “To cause someone you love pain, it is the worst feeling in the world and I hope you never have to feel it. I don’t want to hurt you anymore, Ella. You should be with someone who you can actually have a future with; me- I think I am just meant to be alone,” he trailed off.

Ellary was silent for a few moments, “What are you saying Remus?” she asked, her voice faltering a little in fear of his answer.

“I am saying that you deserve someone better than me, Ellary,” he replied, “Someone who can give you what you need.”

“And what if I need you?” she asked, barely above a whispered.

“You don’t need me, Ella. You’re better off without me,” he replied in the same quiet tone, choking a little on his words.

“Why do you always have to play the hero, Remus? Can’t you be selfish for once?” she pleaded.

“I’m not trying to be a hero, Ella,” he mumbled.

A single tear fell from her eye at the response, she was quite aware of what was happening. She feared this moment would come eventually, which had contributed to her hesitance to become Remus’ girlfriend officially in the first place.

“Are you breaking up with me Remus?” she inquired, a mild tone of anger mixing with the obvious sadness in her voice.

“It- it is for the best, Ellary,” he whispered, bowing his head in shame.

“That is bullshit and you know it,” she spat, leaping up from the side of the bed. She crossed her arms in front of her chest as frustrated tears began to stream from her eyes. “If you really loved me, you would not be doing this!”

“It is because I love you that I am doing this! Don’t you understand?” he yelled back, hopelessness in his eyes.

“No I don’t! The only conclusion that I can draw from this is that you don’t want to be with me and if you don’t want to be with me than you don’t really love me! I said that I could deal with you being a werewolf; I told you that it wasn’t your fault! I care about you so much Remus! Don’t you understand?” she cried. He only shook his head and dropped his eyes down to the floor, lost for words. “I see how it is,” Ellary muttered, after Remus did not answer, “This isn’t over. I don’t care what you say Remus or how hard you try to push me away- I’m not giving up on you that easily,” she declared, before spinning around and marching out of the hospital wing, still clad in her patient robes.

“Now why did you go and do that?” Sirius asked, raising his head to reveal that he was awake only after Ellary had disappeared.

Remus jumped in surprise at his friend’s voice, “You too, then? I was hoping no one else was hurt,” he mumbled.

“James and I showed up to help,” Sirius explained. “She’s right, you know. It isn’t your fault; you just had a bad night,” he told his best friend.

Remus nodded, “It doesn’t matter whether it was my fault or not, it is still my reality. No matter how much I hate it I am still going to transform every full moon. I don’t want to put her in danger any longer and I don’t want her to have to deal with my crap all the time. She deserves better.”

“That just sounds like an excuse to me,” Sirius spoke up, unmoved.

“Call it what you like, call it what you like,” Remus sighed, “But I am only doing what I think is right. I believe you would do the same in my position.”

Sirius shook his head in disagreement, “If I had a girl like that I would hold on to her, Moony.”

“Than go get yourself a girl like that and hold on to her,” Remus replied, “Hold on to her tight.”

Ellary ran down the hall in the white hospital gown and numerous bandages. Tears were pouring from her eyes that seemed darker than usual on that night. Her long, raven hair fell from her ponytail and into her face as she rounded the corner toward the Room of Requirement where she hoped to find a little peace in solitude. She needed some time alone to get out all the emotions she was feeling before reappearing to the public eye; she didn’t want anyone to see her while she was such a mess. But her plan was once more ruined when a group of people suddenly emerged from one of the other hallways and walked right into her path…

Bellatrix, Narcissa, Lucius, Rudolphus Lestrange, Shari Landers, and Bryn Rookwood burst out into fits of laughter when they saw the cut up and disheveled looking Ellary in front of them, crying uncontrollably. Regulus, who was also among their ranks, stood silent with a look of utter confusion and concern written on his face, fortunately the other Slytherins were far too preoccupied to notice this.

“What the hell happened to you, Snape?” Bellatrix Black sneered, eyeing her up and down. “Did your mirror explode on you after seeing your ugly mug?”

Bellatrix’s younger sister, Narcissa, practically shrieked in amusement. She brushed her white-blonde hair from her face to reveal her cold, ice blue eyes.

“I must say Snape, I have never seen you look so truly wretched before and that is really saying something,” she quipped.

“Look- I really don’t want to fight with you all right now, I just want to get by,” Ellary muttered, feeling self conscious in the skimpy robes and on the verge of breaking down right then and there in front of her worst enemies.

“Hah! You don’t want to fight now that you don’t have your little cronies with you to back you up! Not so tough when you don’t have Potter or Black behind you, huh?” Bryn smirked.

“Hell- you don’t even have a wand on you, do you? I should get you back for what your idiotic mates did to me after that Quidditch game,” Lucius hissed, drawing closer to her with a twisted smile that her heart beat a little faster in apprehension. He grabbed her shoulders roughly and pinned her up against the wall, making Ellary moan a little in pain, which only seemed to egg him on. “You are going to rue the day that you met me when I am done with you,” he threatened.

Ellary’s eyes traveled over to where Regulus was standing in a plea for help, but he was deliberately avoiding her eye contact. He wasn’t going to help her.

“Do you think this makes you a man, Malfoy?” Ellary hissed, deciding to rely on her own self rather than Regulus. “Do you think beating up an one hundred pound, wandless girl who was just released from the hospital wing with severe injuries with the help of all your little friends makes you a man? You are more pathetic than I will ever be,” and with that she spat right in his face.

“Augh!” he recoiled in disgust, wiping away the moisture with his sleeve. “You filthy little half-blood!” he screamed, raising his hand to strike her, but someone grabbed his wrist and stopped him before he could make contact.

“Watch it Lucius, you’ve already got yourself in trouble by messing with her. You want Black and Potter to put you in the hospital wing again?” Regulus hissed in warning, underneath his breath.

Lucius brushed his hand off him roughly, “I could have taken them! I was just caught off guard!” he countered.

Regulus snorted, “Do you really believe that? Because if you do I feel sorry for you, Malfoy. She looks screwed up enough already if you ask me. You don’t get your enemies back in the night when they are weak and defenseless; you get them back when you can actually prove yourself by doing it. Don’t be a coward, Malfoy,” Regulus spoke, “Don’t make a fool out of yourself and the rest of us.”

Lucius’ eyes narrowed with anger, but the words seemed to have gotten to him. With a huff he dropped his arms and shoved his hands into his pockets, “I will get you one of these days, Snape,” he promised, before stalking away down the hall.

“Oh Reggie, you always ruin the fun!” Narcissa complained in high-pitched whine, pushing him playfully in the arm. “Can’t we just have a little fun with her?” she smirked at Ellary.

“Shut up Cissy,” Regulus replied, “Go and find Malfoy, I’ll take care of Snape… that goes for all of you!” he added to rest of this group.

The other Slytherins looked hesitant, but eventually followed his orders and walked down the same way Lucius had gone. It was rather amazing how much power a fifth year like Regulus really had over the rest of them.

“You okay? What the hell happened to you?” Regulus took one of her shoulders in each of his hands.

“Like you care,” Ellary tried to break free from his grip on her, but she was much too weak to do so.

“I am only trying to help,” he responded a little defensively, “They could have really messed you up back there, you know.”

Ellary sighed, “Fine. Thank you for getting rid of your jackass friends,” she muttered grudgingly, “Any other day I would have been able to take them myself though!” she added quickly, with confidence in her tone.

Regulus laughed, “I don’t doubt it,” he agreed. “Anyways, you look like hell. What happened?” he inquired, curiosity and even some concern shining in his entrancing black eyes.

Ellary opened her mouth as if to respond, but then shut it again. “Let’s talk somewhere else, I don’t want your goons showing up again,” she explained, eyeing the end of the hallway nervously.

“Alright, where to?” he asked, “A classroom or something?”

“No, I’ve got a better idea,” she answered, “Just follow me,” she instructed, grabbing his hand in hers, without thinking, to lead him down the hall. When she began to walk, however, Regulus stood planted in his spot. He looked awkwardly down at their hands intertwined, biting the edge of his lip. “Oh would you lighten up already, Black? Just because I hold your hand doesn’t mean I want to sleep with you,” she teased, letting go of his hand and continuing on her way.

After a short ten-minute walk they reached the portrait that Ellary had been searching for. Regulus observed her questioningly as she paced back and forth in front of the picture three times with her eyes firmly shut, muttering something repeatedly under her breath.

“Have you finally gone of the deep end, Snape?” Regulus asked, only half-kidding as he watched her.

“Oh just you wait and see!” Ellary exclaimed. Then suddenly the portrait on the wall disappeared and was replaced magically by a door. “I know this school inside and out,” Ellary said, with a proud smile. “This place is called the Room of Requirement,” she explained, as she led him through the door and into the newly created room.

Inside there was a small fireplace with a long, plush crimson couch and mahogany coffee table adorned with a box of chocolates and a few bottles of firewhiskey facing the warm flames. There was also bookshelf and a small group of desks on the other side of the room that made it resemble the Gryffindor common room very closely. Atop of one of the desks was a pair of blue, plaid pajama pants, a t-shirt, and a baggy blue sweatshirt.

“This room takes the shape of whatever you need at the time, you see. Handy, huh?” she chuckled.

“This is bloody amazing! How did you ever find this place?” he asked, completely in awe by the magical room.

“Sirius, James, and I found it,” Ellary explained, “We were running from Filch one night after giving Mrs. Norris a pig’s snout and we really needed a place to hide; luckily we passed by this portrait three times and voila!” she tossed her hands in the air a little, but quickly shot them back down to her burning abdomen. “Anyways- if you wouldn’t mind closing your eyes or something, I have go to change,” she said, picking up the clothing on the desk.

“Oh uh- right,” Regulus muttered, blushing a little and turned his back toward her. “Just uh- let me know when you’re done.”

A few minutes passed by before, “All done!” Ellary declared, now clad in the loose-fitting pajamas. She plopped down on to the sofa and wrapped one of the blankets on the floor around her. She patted the spot on the couch beside her, “Sit down, mate,” she said, with a small, feeble smile that hinted more toward misery than it did happiness.

“So… what is up with you?” Regulus inquired, once again, as he claimed the spot beside of her.

Ellary ran her fingers through her messy, black hair that was sticking out in every direction possible at that moment. “I’ve had a rough night, Reg, a rough night…” she muttered, uncorking one of the firewhiskey bottles.

“Mhmm… no joke! He dumped me! Can you believe it? I asked him not to, hell- I think I might have even cried! And I like- never cry!” Ellary’s voice was a lot louder than usual as she spoke and her words were a tad slurred together. She chugged down another gulp of firewhiskey, with each gulp a little bit more of the pain in both her heart and body seemed to fade away. “Hah! I actually cried!” she slapped her knee.

“Okay… maybe you should put down the firewhiskey,” Regulus cautiously reached out and took the bottle from her hand.

Ellary stuck out her bottom lip in a pout, “Aww- come on Reg, I was finally starting to feel better,” she whined reaching out for it, only to fall off the couch and onto the floor in the process. “Arrgh!” she grumbled, clutching at the scratch on her side that was searing with pain. “Damn him!” she yelled; pounding the floor with her fist like a child who had just been denied of something she wanted. “DAMN HIM!” she screamed, tears falling from her eyes, “He- he-” she hiccupped, “He sliced my side and then he did the same to my heart,” she muttered.

“Shh Ellary, just calm down,” Regulus whispered, wrapping his arms around her and gently pulling her back up on to the couch. He had been able to get a few of the details about her break up with Remus out of her before she got too much firewhiskey into her system, but he was still completely lost about where all her scratches had come from and why she had been in the hospital wing. “Are you telling me Remus did this to you?” Regulus asked, in shock, referring to her injuries.

Ellary shook her head back and forth, “No… no, he didn’t. But he thinks he did! I told him he didn’t- I did, but did he listen? NO! Then he dumped me, yup, just threw me out on my arse! And now I’m here with you Reggie! What a screwed up day,” and with that her eyes closed and she drifted off to sleep.

Faint snores broke from her lips, but beside that the only other sound in the room was the crackling of the fireplace. Regulus looked down at her pallid, tearstained cheeks riddled with cuts and scratches, and her tangled black hair falling in front of her face. But still through it all there was an odd sort of strength and dignity about her, Regulus knew it would take a lot more than a break up to knock her down.