Illegal Love.

I just told Bug I love him. It's true. I do. I really really do. But now he wants to know what now. 

I have no fucking idea. 

I mean, the term 'boyfriend' just doesn't seem to begin to describe what our relationship truly is. However I don't want to upset him. Not after everything that just happened. 

"Well...I don't know." I answer truthfully. His face falls almost instantly and he pushes himself away from me. So much for not upsetting him. 

"What do you mean?" He asks, lower lip trembling slightly.

"I don't know." I repeat simply. "This isn't normal, Bug. I don't know how to handle it. I don't know what's next."

"B-but Emmy! You know everything!" He protests.

"Well, I don't know this one." 

The tears spill over and run down his absurdly smooth cheeks. He jumps up and runs into mom's bathroom, slamming the door behind him. 

God damn it. Why'd I have to upset him? He doesn't deserve it. I sigh and stride over to the door. It's locked.

"Bug, C'mon. Open the door." 

"N-no! Go away!"

"I'm not going anywhere until you open this fucking door!" I yell, angrily. The emotions aren't fueled by him. They're fueled by me. 

Why can't I just know what I want? Why can't I give him the answer he's looking for? Why can't I just make my Bug happy?

The door opens slowly revealing my little baby. He wipes at his eyes furiously trying to erase the evidence of his tears. I pull him into my arms and hold him tightly. He hugs me back, clenching his small fists in my shirt and whimpering. 

I pick up his small body and set him down on the bathroom counter so we're eye to eye. He pulls back but I refuse to release my grip on his waist. 

"Emmy, why can't you just ask me out?" He asks, voice shaking, head down. 

"I will. If that's what you want then I will." I pull his face up and catch his eyes. 

"But it's not what you want." He says. It's not a question. 

"I honestly don't think that asking you to be my boyfriend will be enough. You, Alexis, are my best friend and my brother and I love you more than anything in this entire fucking world. If you want us to label our relationship then we will because I want to make you happy."

"So, you do want to be with me?" He asks slowly, eyes searching mine.

"Of course I do! Is that what you're worried about?" My heart practically stops. Does he honestly think that I don't want him? 

"....no." Bug answers sheepishly. A blush colors his cheeks. "I-i mean, I just thought that-"

"I love you. I want to be your one and only and I want you to be mine too." I interrupt him. 

He smiles wide and leans up to press a kiss to my lips. I move my hands up to cup his perfect face and kiss him back with the force I can without actually hurting him. 

He's the one who pulls away, giggling. "Yes."

"Yes what?" I ask, truly curious.

"Yes, you can be my one and only and I'll be yours too." 

And I smile because that's the perfect thing to describe us.