Illegal Love.

I woke up way to early in the morning. I felt so alone without Alexis. I always do when he isn't around. I think my time alone without him actually helped though. I came up with so many solutions to this little problem.

I've realized that incest isn't all that bad. If you love someone, then why should anyone care what other people think? Love is love, that's all. You can't help who you're in love with, guy, girl, brother or sister.

Besides, fucking your brother could possibly be incredibly hot. Which, with that one dream, I've decided that it is one hundred percent fucking hot as shit. He's sexy, what can I say?

Anyways, it's alone like 5 in the morning, so I decided to look through his room. I sit at his desk and open the drawer to find a note book. Well, it's actually more of a diary. It has a lock on it. I can't just break in, I need the key! Knowing Alexis like I do, I know he would have hidden it in the most obvious place.

I smirk and walk over to his dresser, opening the top drawer. After searching the drawer, I find it in the back corner in a little tiny box. He's so obvious. I sit back down and pick up the diary. After opening the silver lock on the bright pink book, I see the very first page.

Hello, diary! My mommy isn't ever home and my dad is a meany face. So I decided to buy you. You can be my very best friend. Because I have no friends.. Anyways, best friend. I'm going to tell you all my secrets. Like my daddy hurting me. But that can wait! Because I have to tell you about my big brother. He's my hero. He's so smart and pretty. I love him so much. I love him more then I ever should but it doesn't matter because he left me. He went to a big fancy school to study to be- Well, actually he hasn't told me what he wants to be. It doesn't matter right now though. What matters is that he made me cry today. He didn't even call me today. This is the third day in a row. Before he left, he swore he would call me everyday. He's my best friend, of course he should call me everyday. But I guess he forgot about me again. I guess I don't matter very much to him anymore. I understand that because he has better friends then me. I'm just his silly little brother who is totally in love with him.

I stop reading. I can't sit here and read about all the pain he went through because he thought I hated him. I don't hate him. I love him. I just haven't been ready to admit it to myself.. But I am ready now. Next I go to his cabinet and pull out the sketch book he refuses to let me see. I open it to the first page. It's the one I've already seen. I flip the page and what I see amazes me all over again.

It's him and I. We're kissing under a tree. He captured it all perfectly. My facial features, my body, the grass and the tree. It was perfect. Except, when he drew himself, he got sloppy. It's almost like he made himself look ugly on purpose. He's so beautiful, but he made his body to large and- Does he see himself this way? It's as if, in the drawing, he was yelling at himself. Telling himself he could never be with me because of his looks. I don't understand, but I'm going to fix it.

I hear the door open downstairs and look out the window. Moms leaving for work. Alexis and I are alone in the house. Ideas. Leaving the room, I walk into my moms to see bug curled up into a tight ball, sleeping soundly. I coo. He's so cute.

I grab him in my arms and walk back into his bedroom. I lay him down on the bed. He hasn't stirred yet. I lay beside him and he grunts. He starts speaking, even though his eyes are still closed.

"Jacobbb." He whines. "Why doesn't he love me?" Bug drops his head in my lap. I don't respond. "He wont ever kiss me. Will you kiss me? I want to be kissed because I'm so old but never kissed no one."

I lift his chin and place my lips on his.