Let Me Clarify Something

I will always be the person that makes you feel better about things.

I wiped my eyes dry for the millionth time, only to have tears rush back. The distinct sound of footsteps made their way through the empty hallway and I forced myself to at least cry quietly.

“Hey Carla, you okay?”

I let out a slight laugh and looked up at Caleb. His brown eyes stared down at me with concern laced in them. His straightened red hair was starting to curl at the top of his head as he looked down at me with pain in his eyes.

“I’m fine.” I answered, sniffing and looking away.

“You’re crying honey.” he replied, sitting down next to me. “That’s not okay in my book.” he lightly wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

“He broke up with me.” I mumbled, letting a few more tears fall.

“Carla.” he sighed, hugging me close to his chest. “I’m sorry.”

“In a text.” I said. “He broke up with me in a text.”

“That’s not a man, you don’t deserve that.” he told me.

I shrugged, wiping my eyes again. “I just don’t understand. A year and half, done. By a text.”

Caleb pulled me to his chest. “Don’t let it get to you honey. You’re a beautiful young woman. Any guy would be lucky to have you.”

“Oh yeah?” I laughed, shaking my head.

“Yeah.” Caleb boldly answered, reaching over and grabbing my chin, forcing me to look at him. “We’ve been friends for two years now. I think I would know.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, trying to ignore the butterflies that swarmed in my stomach.

“Carla,” he sighed, “let me show you a real man.”

“Okay.” I breathed, allowing him to press his lips to mine.

I wanna be there for you.

I giggled as Caleb gently tugged on my hand. “We just need to get like three boxes of plastic forks.” I told him, pulling him away from the carts.

He grinned, “well, let’s go get them. Kyle is map questing his place.”

I smiled and read the signs above each isle, quickly walking to the one where I could get the plastic forks. With three of the boxes in my arms I turned around. “Okay, we can go.”

Caleb kissed my forehead and quickly grabbed the boxes in one of his hands and my hand in his other.

“I could have carried those.” I protested, only to have him kiss me for silence.

++

“Kyle! I told you to dress in all black!” I hissed, looking at his light blue shirt and camo shorts.

“I have black clothes in my car.” he protest.

“Well go change!” I laughed, pushing him towards his car that was across the street.

Caleb chuckled and pulled me to his chest. He kissed the side of my head causing me to let out a soft giggle. I turned around to face him and pulled down his black hat so all of his red hair was covered. He leaned down and pressed his lips against mine, causing my stomach to jump to my throat. I kissed him back, dragging my arms around his shoulders, pulling away when I heard gagging noises coming from a changed Kyle.

“Let’s go.” I mumbled, blushing fiercely.

It took us half an hour to completely cover my ex’s front yard. We pushed the plastic forks as far as we could into the ground, emptying the boxes as quickly as we could. When we were finally done we sprinted back to the cars and took off before he saw us. I was laughing the entire ride to the bus. Caleb was having a hard time driving because whenever I laugh, he has to laugh too. Or at least that’s what he says.

“I’m happy that we did that.” I told Caleb as he parked outside the bus.

“I’m happy that we did too. I like your rebel side.” he joked, gently poking my side. I let out a light squeak and grabbed his fingers. “I’ll stick by you for anything Carla.” he smiled, leaning forward. “I promise.”

I just smiled and pressed my lips back against him, allowing the butterflies to swarm and my world to spin.

And I wanna,

I smiled towards Caleb’s sister as she placed her newborn baby in my arms.

“Liz, he’s beautiful.” I whispered, gingerly cradling him in my arms.

“Thanks.” she beamed, “I’ll be right back, I need to make him a bottle.”

“Okay.” I said, leaning towards Caleb. He wrapped his arm around me. His lips gently pressed against the side of my head.

“You’re glowing.” he whispered into my ear. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. He had a big smile on his face as he gently touched the baby’s cheek.

“I’m glowing?” I questioned, shifting so I was resting against Caleb.

“Yeah, Liz handed you Spencer and you just got a glow to you.” he answered, tightening his arm around me.

“Oh,” I chuckled, “well, I do want to be a mommy.”

“We could start our own family.”

I quickly looked up at him. “Caleb…I don’t want to pressure you into having children. I can wait.”

“Carla, I’ve been thinking about it since Liz got pregnant. I want to have a family with you.” he brushed some hair from my face.

“I’d love that.” I whispered, allowing him to kiss me.

“We’ll start trying tonight.” he smirked. I rolled my eyes and looked down at the baby in my arms.

I wanna be that guy that makes you not cry.

I held another negative pregnancy test in my hands and let out another small cry.

“Carla?” Caleb asked from outside the bathroom door. I heard him shift his weight onto the door. “Baby it’ll be okay.”

I threw the white plastic into the garbage and turned the tap water on. Water quickly filled my cupped hands and I splashed the coldness onto my face.

“Will you let me in?” he asked, lightly tapping onto the wood. I looked at my reflection before unlocking the door. Before he entered I quickly walked in I jumped up on the counter. He tried to give me a small smile as he shut the door behind him. I just looked away.

“I’m sorry Caleb.” I whispered as he placed his hands on my knees. I tugged at my shirt and allowed him to ease his way so he was standing between my legs.

“Don’t worry about it babe.” he told me, pressing his lips to the top of my head. “We’ve only been trying for four months. It can take a while.”

I sniffled and slowly reached my arms around his middle.

“Hey now.” he said, grabbing my chin and pulling my face up. “None of that crying okay?” he kissed my nose and used his thumb to clear my face of the tears. “We’ll have a baby. You don’t need to worry.”

I smiled slightly and let him kiss me. “I could go to a doctor, and see if I’m having problems.” I offered.

“Give it some more time, okay?” he said, pressing his lips to mine. He pulled away a second later, but kept me in his arms. “How about we go watch Toy Story?”

I nodded against his chest and let him carry me down to the living room.

I wanna talk to you.

“We’ve been trying for a year.” I complained, throwing away another pregnancy test. “I’m going to the doctor.”

“Okay.” Caleb said, not looking up from his phone. “I have to go to band practice.”

I blinked. “Can’t you stay here?” I asked, wanting nothing more than for him to stay with me, he knows how much it hurts that I’m not getting pregnant.

“No babe, I have to go to this.” he kissed my cheek. “I’ll be back before midnight.”

I silently watched as his form left the bathroom. I bit my lip to get myself to stop crying when I heard the front door slam shut.

If you don’t want me mad at you.

“Caleb! What the hell man!” I said, grabbing his arm and pulling him back. “Why do you always have to leave? We never spend time together anymore.”

“You know this is important Carla.” he groaned, lightly pulling his arm away from me. “I’ll be home before one. Don’t worry about it.”

“No!” I yelled, stomping my foot. “How are we supposed to get pregnant if you’re never even home!” I cried.

He rolled his eyes, obviously getting annoyed with me. “We’ll try again tomorrow. No big deal.”

I let out a short breath. “Fine. Go. I don’t give a shit.”

He shook his head. “Just put my pillow on the fucking couch, I don’t want to sleep with you tonight.” he called over his shoulder before he slammed the front door closed.

Don’t let it happen where I walk into my friend’s room, and you’re on my friends computer screen.

“I can’t wait to tell him.” I spilled to Jonathan and Liz.

Liz beamed happily towards me. “I can’t wait for him to know! This is so exciting!”

I laughed, “Now if I could only get him to stay home for a little bit, that’d be cool.”

Jonathan frowned, “He’ll be around you more after this. Not getting you pregnant for so long had really taken a toll on him. Makes him feel less manly.”

“I can see that.” I sighed.

“Oh! I have to go get Spencer from your mom.” Liz said to Jonathan. “I’ll talk to you later Carla.”

“See you.” I said, watching her leave.

“So when you gonna tell Caleb?” Jonathan asked me once Liz left the room.

“I was thinking on his birthday.”

“That sounds perfect. He’s going to be so stoked.” Jonathan said.

“What the fuck?” Caleb said from the door way. He glared over at Jonathan and then to me on his computer screen. “What are you guys doing?”

“Skyping…”Jonathan trialed. “Liz and her were talking before Liz left to go get Spencer. No biggie.”

“Oh yeah, that’s cool, just talk to my fucking girlfriend with no one else around.”
“Calm down Caleb.” I said, “It’s not like we’re doing anything.”

“Yeah, sure.” he said, quickly turning his heel and leaving.

Let me clarify something

“Come on Carla!” he yelled, slamming his hand down on the counter top. “Stop crying for five minutes!”

I sniffled and wiped my eyes dry. “Can you just stay home?” I begged. “I want to spend some time with you!”

Let me clarify something

He rolled his eyes before grabbing his guitar case. “I have to go. The guys are expecting me.”

“Caleb.” I said, reaching forward and grabbing his arm, tears were once again forming in my eyes.

Are you listening?

“What?” he asked, pushing me off him.

“Can’t I be more important just this once?” I pleaded, wiping my eyes again.

Music will always be above girls to me.

He gave me a small smirk before opening the front door, “No.”

I gotta take care of this, and I’ll call you back.

I shut my eyes tightly as tears streamed down my face. One of my hands clutched over my heart while the other one rested on my slightly rounded stomach.

I waited for five minutes before deciding that he wasn’t coming back. That this time, I’m not going to let him. I stormed over to my purse and pulled out the envelope that earlier I had written “For my love, Caleb. Happy birthday Baby.” on. I ripped it open and fiercely pulled out the pictures of my first ultra sound.

My hands shook as I pulled through his clothes and shoved them into a bag. Everything that was his was stuffed into three bags and left on the front porch. I let out a shaky breath before opening one of his bags and setting the ultra sound pictures on top. I grabbed the spare key and went into the house, quickly locking the door.