This Is My Love

Pete's P.O.V.

Oh, Ano...
I really messed up, and now she's gone. She's in Hawaii and I'm here, left with self loathing and regret as my only company. Two days without her and I missed her terribly. I did all I could not to check my phone every two minutes for any sign that she may have tried to contact me, but nothing ever came. I didn't think she would want me contacting her until she was ready, so I just waited. I only got calls from Phil and Eric, who had been here earlier to "give me some company", though I knew they were just checking up on me. I hadn't had anything in my system since Ano left, and I was determined to keep it that way. I knew she would never stay with me if I stayed like this, and I didn't blame her. I wasn't myself when I was on this stuff, but the addict in me made it hard to care. The addict in me made everything harder, especially now.
These cravings... Only the thought of losing Ano kept me straight. Only cravings for Ano were stronger.

My phone rang, making me jump and wrestle the blankets off to run over and grab it off of my dresser. I looked at the screen and disappointment washed over me. It was my mom.
"Hello?" I answered sullenly.
"Oh, Peter! Eric told me what happened. Are you alright, sweety?" Her motherly worry rang loud and clear from the other end.
"I'm okay, mom, I promise. Please don't worry about me," I tried to assure her to keep her from worrying herself to death, even if it was a lie.
"Oh, Petey, I'm so sorry about you and Ano. She's over at her father's house right now. I saw her pull up. She looked so worn out." Her voice was sympathetic, sad even, and I knew she thought of Ano like a daughter. Always has. I knew this was hard on her. But all I could think of was Ano and how badly I had hurt her.

"Oh, mom. I really messed up," I whispered sadly, my emotions filling my voice again even though I wanted so badly to sound fine for my mom. She sighed heavily from the other end.
"Oh, honey... Everything's going to be fine. I've never seen two people so meant for each other than you and Ano. Just get yourself together and she'll be back in a heartbeat."
"I don't know, mom. I really hurt her," I argued.
"You made a mistake, Peter, we all do it from time to time. Just try to redeem yourself, that's all you can do. Try hard and show her how much you care. I'm sure that's all she wants," she informed me, sounding confident with her advice. And I was sure she was right. What else could I do?
"You're right. Thanks Mom..." I whispered lovingly. She sighed again, this time a little more softly.
"You're welcome, sweetie. I hope to see you down here soon," she stated, referring to the wedding. It was now my turn to sigh, a very sad sigh.
"Yeah, mom, me too. Love you."
"I love you, too, Petey." And we both hung up.

Ano's P.O.V.

I sat on the bed of my old room, which my dad had kept exactly the way it was when I left, and looked around. He had no use for exercise equipment, and he already had an office, so he said he had no reason to change it. And I was glad, because it felt just like home. My full size bed, which had light green sheets and a light blue comforter, felt just like it always had. Posters of Pete and I's favorite bands and musicians covered the off white walls and the giant stuffed dog Pete won me at a fair one year sat in the corner beside my bed, a little dusty, and a little deflated, but otherwise the same. Nothing had really changed since the last time I was here, and it was such a mix of comfort and sadness.
I logged onto the dinosaur of a computer that sat on my desk and stopped when I got to the wallpaper. It was a picture of Pete and I on my 16th birthday. He had his arm around my waist and was smiling fondly at me as I smiled at the camera. I smiled at the memory. I still have a hard time remembering that he was in love with me even back then. I was just too insecure to see the signs, to believe that he thought of me as anything other than a friend. I dashed tears from my eyes that I hadn't realized were there and looked at the time at the bottom of the screen. I wondered what Pete was doing. I missed him more than I could bare. It had been 4 days since I left him, but since he had also been away from me for two months just before I left, it felt like a lifetime.
I sat at my desk and stared at my replacement cellphone which was currently laying on my bed a few feet away. I wanted to hear his voice, I wanted to know how he was doing... I wanted him. I jumped up and grabbed the phone before dialing in his number before I could change my mind. I sat down on the bed and waited for him to answer. It only took a couple rings before his voice was coming from the other end. His voice was full of quiet disbelief when he answered, and my chest tightened at the sound of it.

"Ano..." He whispered. I smiled into the receiver.
"Hey," I replied. I could hear his quiet breaths on the other end, and I closed my eyes and listened for a moment until he spoke.
"How, uhm, how are you?" He asked, seemingly not sure what to say.
"I'm okay, I guess." There was silence. "Pete, I miss you." My voice came out in a sort of squeak. Pete took in a deep breath and let it out quickly.
"Oh, baby, I miss you, too," he whispered, then there was silence again. He was obviously waiting for me to take the lead. What was I calling for? Good news? Bad news? Could I tell him I just wanted to hear his voice, or did he need some news on my decision? Honestly, it was all up to him. If he made the effort to start getting clean, then I'd take him back. So there was only on question...
"How have you been doing?"
He was quick to answer, knowing just what I meant. "I haven't touched the stuff since you left, Ano. I'm going to do this, and I'll never hurt you again, baby, I swear it." He sounded so sure of himself, and the nagging feeling I had that this would surely happen again subsided for a moment. Though I didn't think it would ever go away for good.
"Oh, Pete... God, I hope so. I don't think I could go through this again," I whispered sadly. I could almost hear his frown through the phone. I knew it hurt him that he hurt me, and that gave me a sick sort of hope. Maybe he learned his lesson...
"I know, baby. I could never put you through this again. And I know now more than ever how much I need you in my life and I'll never jeopardize our relationship again," he stated solemnly, his voice cracking slightly. "I just want to spend the rest of my life loving and honoring you."
For better or for worse...
The words rang in my head like an alarm clock, waking me up to the right decision. Pete said them that night on the phone in what I knew now as a silent plead to endure him in his time of need. And I failed on that end, but I wouldn't fail anymore. I was so glad that I hadn't postponed the wedding like planned.
I was going to marry Pete by the end of the week, and I was going to love him and cherish him, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health until death do us part. And he was going to do the same for me.

"I'm going to go to bed, Pete. I'll see you in a few days. Don't be late for your own wedding, please," I spoke through I smile and waited for his reaction. I heard him let out a breath in a quick rush of air.
"Oh, God, Ano... Baby, I won't let you down. I love you, baby, so much," he stated happily and let out a quiet laugh of relief. My smile widened at the sound of his happiness. I had to say, I was pretty happy, too. Thrilled, really. I just prayed I was making the right decision.
"I love you too, Bruno. Just... Just don't make me regret this," I murmured, though I couldn't cover up the joy that was in my voice.
He let out another sigh of relief at hearing the use of my fond nickname for him. "Baby, I won't. I swear it, I won't."
And with that, I hung up. I spent the rest of that night with a dumb smile on my face, and before bed I said a little prayer.

Please God, let this be the right decision...