This Is My Love

I want to give you the world but I want to hide you from it, too.
I know my biggest job is to love and protect you.
So that when you start out in your life you will be prepared.
So that when life gets hard, you won't be scared.
Cause I'll be there. I'll always be there for you, because that's what I'm here for. That's why god gave me you.
No matter what you choose to be, you'll always have love from me.
I'll be there for you, and I'll always love you, too.

I smiled and rubbed my big eight month baby bump as I read some of the lyrics Pete had written down in his notebook. He had been up all night working on a song that came to him as he tried to sleep the night before. He wanted to get it done while it was still fresh in his mind.
I placed the notebook back down on the coffee table and sat down on the couch next to Pete, who had fallen asleep there with his guitar still in his hands. I reached over and gently took the guitar from him to prop it up beside the couch, trying not to wake him, but my efforts were unsuccessful.
"Hey," he whispered tiredly as I placed the guitar down beside me. I turned to him and smiled.
"Hey there," I spoke gently down to him before leaning in and placing a kiss on his forehead. "Those are some beautiful lyrics."
Pete smiled as he sat up from his previously slumped position and stretched his arms out over his head before wrapping them around my neck as he brought them back down. He placed a sweet kiss on my lips and sighed.
"Thanks, baby," he whispered before glancing over to the notebook of lyrics that sat on the coffee table in front of us. "I just really want to give them something they can always have to know how much I love them."
I smiled at him lovingly before placing a hand back over my belly.
"They'll know, no matter what, that they are loved by us."
Pete smiled back at me and nodded his head before placing another kiss on my cheek.
"I know," he whispered before placing his hand over mine on my stomach. "You're going to be such an amazing mom."
I giggled and glanced down at our hands and my enormous belly before looking back up to Pete and running my finger tips down his cheek.
"And you're going to be an incredible dad. No doubt about it," I spoke gently as I gazed into those big brown eyes that I loved so much. I hoped that the baby was a boy, and that he looked just like his daddy, but we opted to be surprised, so right now, we didn't know. But, Pete thought it was a girl.
Pete leaned down and placed his lips against mine in a soft kiss before pulling back again and smiling.
"I love you, Ano," he whispered, his eyes locked with mine, before moving them down to my lips and leaning back in. The kiss was gentle, but there was also a fervency there. A need, and I wondered what was on his mind. I pulled my lips away from his but kept my face only centimeters from his and stared into his eyes.
"What's on your mind, Bruno?" I asked gently. He sighed and placed his forehead against mine, but he kept his eyes locked on mine.
"It's nothing," he whispered, but I raised my eyebrows at him, letting him know that I knew better. Pete smiled and rolled his eyes at my knowing look. "It's just that I've been getting a little nervous, I suppose," he confessed.
I sighed a soft breath of relief at the fact that it was nothing major and smiled.
"Oh, I see. About being a dad?" I asked, but he shook his head.
"No, I can't wait to be a dad," he whispered, then paused as if he was searching for the right words. After a moment, he took in a shallow breath and released it in a nervous rush. "I'm scared for you."
I furrowed my eyebrows and leaned back to get a better look at his face, my eyes silently questioning him.
"Scared for me how?" I asked quietly. Pete flexed his hand against mine and sighed.
"It's stupid, but I can't help but fear any little thing when it comes to you. I mean..." He trailed off to think about what he wanted to say again, his eyes on my stomach, before he brought his eyes back up to mine again and continued to speak. "What if anything went wrong?"
"Like what?" I asked. Pete shrugged.
"Anything."
I smiled and scooted closer to him before running my fingers through his loosely curled hair on the side of his head. He watched me closely as I searched his features, registering that the fear there was real. I didn't know exactly what he was afraid of going wrong, but I knew that whatever it was, it was a real fear.
"Pete, everything is going to be fine," I finally whispered, though I knew I couldn't realistically promise him that, I had to try to put him at ease somehow. Pete reached up and wrapped his fingers around the back of my neck to bring my attention back to his eyes.
"My biggest fear has, is and always will be losing you. I couldn't live properly without you," he whispered fervently, the emotion in his voice surprising me. What brought this up?
"Pete, there's something you're not telling me," I stated knowingly. "What happened?"
Pete's head dropped slightly and he sighed, something clearly troubling him. I tried to wait for him to speak as patiently as I could, but the suspense was killing me. Luckily, before I could urge him to speak, he spoke on his own.
"It's Vicky," he whispered. I furrowed my eyebrows and waited for him to continue. What about Vicky? I hadn't gotten any news about her lately.
Did she get out somehow? Was she coming after me? I know it seemed ridiculous to have that fear, but I couldn't help it.
"What, Pete?" I finally asked, not being able to stand the wait. Pete lifted his head back up, his eyes troubled.
"She died while delivering her baby," he stated solemnly. I gasped and my hand flew up to my mouth as I looked at Pete with wide eyes. Pete sighed and nodded his head in agreement with my shock. I took my hand away from my mouth and placed it on Pete's knee.
"Oh, Pete..." I whispered. He placed his hand over mine and began to stroke the skin on the back with his thumb, his eyes never leaving my face.
"It scared the shit out of me. It made me realize that there are still dangers in childbirth, and it could just as easily happen to you," he stated. I sighed heavily and leaned in to cuddle against his chest. Pete wasted no time in wrapping his arms tightly around me and placing his lips on the top of my head. He breathed in through his nose, inhaling the scent of my shampoo.
"Everything is going to be alright, Bruno," I whispered softly. He sighed again and nodded his head.
"I know it will be, but ever since... That morning... I just can't stop thinking about how easy it is for things to go wrong. How quickly you could be taken away from me."
I tipped my head back and placed a kiss under his chin. He looked down to me, his eyes haunted with memories. Scary memories. I let out a sad breath.
"I know what you mean, but we can't let Vicky continue to haunt us. We need to move on," I whispered. Pete nodded his head and leaned in to place a soft kiss on my lips.
"You're right. But, I will never forget what it feels like to think I was going to lose you. It will remind me to never take you for granted, that's for sure," he stated. I smiled up to him, for he had just spoke the same thing I had thought the day he woke up from his coma.
Just then, the house phone began to ring from it's spot on the coffee table. Pete furrowed his eyebrows and looked over to it, confused.
"Who could that be at this time in the morning?" He asked as he reached for the phone but keeping his arm around my waist. He hit the answer button and held the phone up to his ear.
"Hello?... Dad? Wait..." He listened for a while as his dad spoke to him from the other end. I couldn't hear what he was saying, but I could faintly hear his voice. After a moment, Pete's face began to pale and his breathing increased. Concern flooded through me and I sat up to better look at his expression.
"What?" He whispered. "No..."
His eyes were distant as whatever his father said registered in his brain, then, to my shock, he gasped in a breath and let it back out in a large sob before breaking down and crying heavily. I gasped and maneuvered myself so that I as kneeling in front of him, though my large stomach made it difficult, and placed my hands on his knees, but he didn't bring his head up from his hand. He just continued to cry with his head bowed as he listened to his dad some more.
"We'll be there as soon as we can... Oh, Jesus... I love you, too, dad. We'll leave as soon as possible." He dropped the phone from his ear and onto the ground, not bothering to turn it off, before bring his other hand to his eyes and crying some more. I pushed my hands into his hair, desperate to soothe him, but I had no idea what was going on. Did he want me there? Was there anything I could even do?
"Bruno, baby, what's wrong?" I squeaked, concern and the need to cry with him tightening my throat. Pete seemed to remember once more that I was there and lifted his gaze to me, his eyes red and swollen already and his face full of sorrow. He choked on another sob as he tried to speak, seemingly having difficulty getting his voice to work. When it finally did, it was almost non existent.
"My mom..." He croaked before closing his eyes in pain and shaking his head in disbelief. "Jesus... Ano, she's dead."