This Is My Love

The plane ride over was smooth and quiet, none of us in much of a talkative mood. But, I don't think Pete let go of my hand the whole flight, except to let me excuse myself to use the restroom. Once in a while, he would unknowingly grip it too tight, seemingly during a happy memory of his mother that he found too painful to think of at the time, and the fact that it hurt him hurt me more than the tight grip on my hand.
Once we landed on the main island, we got ready for our boat trip to Oahu. I wasn't looking forward to it, since I was already feeling a bit nauseated, but I just kept remembering that we would soon see our family, and I knew Pete needed that.
As we stepped off the boat on Oahu, I took a deep breath in of the beautiful, clean Hawaiian air. I always loved it. So clean, even in these days. A far cry from L.A.
Finally, after a half hour drive through the beautiful scenery of Honolulu, we made it to Waikiki and began our drive through the neighborhood. It was a sad drive, for everywhere I looked reminded me of Bernie. The park she used to drop Pete and I off at, our old middle school, where she used to come and dance for our fellow students... The big tree in front of their house, where we would all sit and listen to her tell stories. All fantastic memories, but it only made me miss her more. I could only imagine how Pete felt looking at those places. I glanced over at him, beside me in the backseat of Eric's rental. He was pinching the bridge of his nose, his eyes squeezed shut, as if to halt any tears that dared to fall. I frowned and squeezed his hand in comfort, causing him to open his eyes and bring them to rest on my face. I leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his lips before resting my forehead against his.
"I love you, Pete," I whispered, not sure what else to say to comfort him, but apparently that was enough, for a small sob escaped Pete's throat and he threw his arms around me, pulling me into him. He kissed my shoulder before burying his nose into my hair and sighing.
"Thank you," he whispered hoarsely. I furrowed my eyebrows from over his shoulder.
"What for, Bruno?" I asked. I could feel a small smile pull at his lips before he pulled back from the hug to look me in the face. He sighed as he ran his knuckles down my cheek, his eyes roaming my features before landing on my own.
"For loving me," he stated simply.

As we pulled into the driveway of Pete's childhood home, Pete's dad walked out onto the porch to greet us. I climbed out onto the sidewalk and Pete exited the car on the side of the street. Pete Senior walked down from the yard and to the street. I decided to give the boys and their dad some privacy, so I went to the back of the rental to begin to grab our bags. I walked behind the car and opened up the back hatch before grabbing one of the larger bags to haul down.
"Hey now, no lifting. You know better," Eric's wife scolded as she joined me at the back of the car. I chuckled and shrugged apologetically as she took the bag from my hand.
"Thanks," I whispered before peeking from behind the car at the boys. Pete was hugging his dad. His dad's back towards me, so I could see Pete's face. He had his eyes closed as he hugged his dad tight, and tears were streaming never ending down his face while his dad whispered comforting words to him and Eric both. Eric was crying as well, but kept his head down in an attempt to hide them. My heart broke, and I quickly looked away and continued unloading the car, not feeling right spying on their family moment. A minute later, as I began to pull another bag down, my mind busy with thoughts, another pair of hands grabbed it for me, interrupting my busy brain.
"Let me get that." Pete's dad grabbed the bag and placed it on the street beside him before looking back up to me and smiling gently. "Hey, Ano."
Immediately, tears began to form in my eyes just from being greeted by his smiling face in this hard time.
"Hey, pops," I greeted him as I stepped into his arms, having to reach to he able to wrap my arms around his neck and place my head on his shoulder since my belly was so much in the way.
"You're huge," Pete's dad stated in wonder once we separated, his eyes large as he examined my pregnant belly. I giggled and wiped the tears from my eyes.
"Words every woman loves to hear," I joked with him, causing him to chuckle.
"They're words every pregnant woman should be happy to hear. It means her baby is big and healthy," he retorted. I nodded my head in agreement. "May I?" Pete's dad motioned to my belly. I smiled and held my hands up.
"Of course, grandpa," I said gently. He chuckled before placing his hand on my belly. After a moment, I could feel the baby begin to move his little feet, pushing right where Pete's dad held his hand. His eyes widened and I giggled.
"Look at that. They haven't kicked the whole boat and car ride. They know you," I whispered as I placed my hand over his. He lifted his gaze to mine, tears now forming and falling from his eyes. I frowned at the sight of them.
"Are you okay?" I asked. He nodded his head.
"Yeah. I just wish Bernie could have..." He paused to hold back a sob and gather himself before continuing. "I just wish she could have seen all this."
A small sob bubbled up from my throat and I threw my arms back around Pete Senior's neck.
"She is. She's seeing everything now," I whispered from over his shoulder. He nodded his head and wiped at some of his tears from behind my back.
"I know. I'm just crying for me. I miss her," he stated, and I squeezed my eyes shut in pain. It was true. She didn't suffer, and she had a good life. She was happy now, in a place beautiful enough to fit her incredible soul, never to know sadness or anger again, always to be carefree. But we cried endlessly. Why? Because we missed her. We cried for us. For our own selfish reasons. We grieved for ourselves.
"To see you and Pete have a child together. She was so excited to meet that grandchild," Pete's dad stated through a smile once we ended the hug, looking down to my pregnant belly. Instinctively, I placed my hand on my belly and let out a quiet, airy laugh.
"I know she was," I whispered. I felt an arm wrap around my waist and Pete was at my side. He placed a kiss in my hair as he placed his hand on my belly.
"Yeah, and I couldn't wait to show them off to their grandma," Pete stated, apparently having heard at least the end of the conversation. I looked over to him to see him smiling to himself as he thought about it.
"She'll be watching, Pete," I whispered before placing a kiss on his cheek. He moved his gaze to my face and nodded.
"I know. Knowing her, she'll be looking out for everyone. Just like she did in life. I just wish I could see her is all."