So What's One More Excuse? I Guess I Just Like the Abuse.

I push the needle into my arm and shut my eyes tight.

It stings.

I like it.

I open my eyes, take the needle out and drag myself to my bed as I let the drugs take over my body. Nothing is real. Only my heartbeat. Only The drugs. Only the pain.

I feel my heartbeat become slower. It feels nice. I've learned to love pain. Pain means I'm feeling something. Feelings are good.

I open my eyes, dizzy. I smile.

This relationship is abusive and sickening. It's so wrong.

I love it.

My smile fades, I fall asleep.

This has become my life in the passed year.