Secrets Will Kill You The Sequel

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Dean and Sam were dressed in suits while Brit and I were in short skirts and respective, sexy black shirts that showed off our curves. We were going to a comic book store in our FBI get-ups but the guys thought it would be a good idea for Brit and I to turn some heads in case these comic geeks wouldn’t give us straight answers. We walked over to the guy who was standing behind the counter, taking out our badges.

“Uh...can I help you?”

“Sure hope so. Agents DeYoung and Shaw. Our interns Nash and Langston. Just need to ask you a few questions” Dean introduced.

“Notice anything strange in the building, last couple of days?” Sam asked.

“Like what?”

“Well, some other tenants reported flickering lights” I tried.

“I don't think so. Why?”

“What about noises? Any skittering in the walls? Kind of like rats?” Brit said.

“And the FBI is investigating a rodent problem?”

“What about cold spots? Feel any sudden drops in temperature?” Sam asked.

Then, the dude started to grin. “I knew it! You guys are LARPing aren't you” he assumed. “Excuse me?” Dean and I both questioned, making faces at him.

“You're fans”

“Fans of what?” Sam and Brit both asked. “What is LARPing?” Dean asked.

“Like you don't know” he said but we exchanged looks and then gave this crazy dude confused looks. “Live-Action Role-Play! And pretty hardcore, too” he said, impressed by…whatever he thought we were doing.

“I'm sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about” I said.

“You're asking questions like the building's haunted. Like those guys from the books. What are they called? Uh...Supernatural. Two guys and two girls use fake IDs with rock aliases, hunt down ghosts, demons, vampires. What are their names? Uh…Sal and Dane? Lisa and Whitney?”

“Sam and Dean?” Sam suggested. “And Melissa and Brittney?” Brit added. “That's it!” he said, excitedly.

“You're saying this is a book?” Dean asked, incredulous.

“Books. It was a series. Didn't sell a lot of copies, though. Kind of had more of an underground cult following” he said and we followed him over to a table with a sign that said Bargain Bin.

“That's the first one, I think” he said and handed me a book.

"Supernatural by Carver Edlund” I read the cover and then flipped it to the back and Dean looked over my shoulder.

“Along a lonely California highway, a mysterious woman in white lures men to their deaths” Dean read the summary. Sam grabbed the book from me “We're gonna need all the copies of ‘Supernatural’ you've got” Sam said to the cashier guy.

~~

So, we got all the copies of ‘Supernatural’ and we got to our motel and started to read as night fell and Dean and I were still scanning the books while Sam and Brit were on Sam’s laptop.

“This is freakin' insane. How's this guy know all this stuff?” I asked, completely incredulous. “You got me” Sam replied.

“Everything is in here. I mean everything. From the racist truck to me having sex. I'm full-frontal in here, dude…oh and Mel, I found a spot you’re gonna love”

I got on the bed beside him as he was laying on his stomach and he pointed to a spot. I read it. “Still think my eyes are deep, sexy and hypnotizing?” he smirked.

“I never said that” I made a face.

“No, but apparently you thought it” I smacked him upside the head and he laughed. “Look at this part” he said and flipped a couple pages. I read it. It was about me and Dean having sex. I scoffed. “I’m not the only one full-frontal”

“How come we haven’t heard of these books before?” I asked as I got up and so did Dean.

We walked over to Sam and Brit and sat at the table, across from them. “They're pretty obscure. I mean, almost zero circulation” Sam said.

“Started in '05. The publisher put out a couple dozen before going bankrupt. And, uh, the last one, ‘No Rest For The Wicked’…ends with you going to hell” Brit said as Sam spun the laptop around so Dean and I could see the listing of the book titles.

“And I repeat. This is freaking insane” I said. “Check it out. There’s actually fans. There’s not many of them, but still. Did you read this?” Dean said, getting into it a little. “Yea” Sam said.

I leaned into him to read what he was reading. “Although for fans, they sure do complain a lot. Listen to this…Simpatico says ‘the demon story line is trite, clichéd, and overall craptastic’. Yeah, well, screw you, Simpatico. We lived it”

I kept reading the website and made a face. "Okay, there are Dean’s fans and Sam’s fans but then what’s a slash fan?” I asked. Sam cleared his throat awkwardly.

“As in...Sam-Slash-Dean. Together” Brit said in amusement.

“Like, together together?” Dean asked. “Yea” Sam confirmed. “They do know we're brothers, right?”

“Doesn't seem to matter”

“Oh, come on. That just sick”

Then, I burst out laughing. “Hey, do we have fans?” I asked, excitedly, bringing the laptop in front of me. “We have the whole next page” Brit grinned. “No way” I grinned too.

I got to the page and there were comments all about Brit and I, along with some links. I saw lists for fans to keep track of which girls Dean and Sam have been with. “Hmm Dean’s Girls and Sam’s Girls…lets click on Dean’s girls, shall we?”

I went for the mouse. “Umm no, we don’t have to do that” Dean said, grabbing my hand.

“There’s a link to go to Melissa’s Boys” Brittney chimed in. “Oh, lets do that” Dean tried.

“I don’t think so” I said and pushed him off the chair so he fell to the floor.

But, then my smile dropped when I saw how Brittney had fans, I had fans…but then there were slash fans. I made a face. “Yea…I saw that too” Brit said, reading my mind.

“Okay…I’m disgusted now. We got to find this Carver Edlund” I said, shutting the laptop. “Ah, that might not be so easy” Sam said. “Why not?” Dean asked.

“No tax records, no known address. Seems like ‘Carver Edlund’ is a pen name” Brit explained.

“Somebody’s gotta know who he is”

We got to the publisher’s place. When we met her, she seemed eager, nervous and skeptical all at once. “So you published the ‘Supernatural’ books?” I questioned.

“Yep. Yeah. Gosh. These books…you know, they never really got the attention they deserved. All anybody wants to read anymore is that romance crap. You know, ‘Doctor Sexy, M.D.’? Please” she scoffed.

“Sam, Dean, Melissa and Brittney have their own romancey stuff but it isn’t like any other romance stuff”

“Right. Well, we're hoping that our article can…shine a light on an underappreciated series” Sam said.

“Yeah, yeah, because, you know, if we got a little bit of good press then m-maybe we could start publishing again” she said with a lot of hope in her voice.

“Oh no, no, no god, no” Dean said quickly. “I mean, why-why would you want to do that? You know, it's, uh, such a complete series, what with Dean going to Hell and all” he added.

I watched as she started to get emotional. “My god! That was one of my favorite ones, because Dean was so... strong... and sad and brave. And Sam, Melissa and Brittney...I mean, the best parts are when they all cry. You know, like in-in ‘Heart,’ when Sam had to kill Madison, the first woman since Jessica he really loved and when Brittney walked in on Sam and Madison, the heart ache she felt…”

I saw Brit tense up and her face flushed. “And in ‘Home,’ when Dean had to call John and ask him for help. Gosh... if only real men were so open and in- in touch with their feelings”

“Real men?” Dean inquired.

“I mean, no offense. How often do you cry like that, hmm?…oh! And poor Melissa, she’s so conflicted with her other half and she was so close with her dad, then Dean went to Hell. It makes you wonder what she would be like after that. She’s just so damaged…"

"I love how Dean and Melissa wanted nothing to do with each other when they first met but then Dean told her he loved her on Christmas which was her fathers birthday…she really makes Dean’s sensitive side show, like the date they went on together after Sam and Brittney got married. I mean, I was ecstatic about the last few books”

Okay, this was officially too weird for all of us, having this woman know our life stories.

“Well, right now, I'm crying on the inside” Dean commented.

“Is that supposed to be funny?”

“Lady, this whole thing is funny” I said.

“How do I know you four are legit, hmm?”

“Oh, trust me. We, uh... we're legit” Dean said, smugly.

“Well, I don't want any smart-ass article making fun of my boys and my girls”

“No. No, never” Sam said quickly. “We’re actually uhh big fans” Brit said.

“Hmm. You've read the books?”

“Cover to cover” I answered.

“What's the year and model of the car?”

“1967 Chevy Impala” Dean smiled.

“What's May 2nd?”

“That's my…uh...that's Sam's birthday” Sam said.

“January 24th is Dean's” Dean clarified. I rolled my eyes. “What’s Melissa’s favorite feature about Dean” she questioned, looking at all of us.

But, my face flushed as Dean, Sam and Brit all looked at me, smirking. They found my discomfort amusing. “His eyes. She really likes his eyes” I muttered, avoiding everyone’s eyes as I wrapped my arms around my stomach.

“What did Brittney want to go to college for?”

“At first it was to be a doctor but then she changed her mind and wanted to be a lawyer” Brit answered.

“Sam's score on the LSAT?” Sam looked at us, unsure. “One...seventy four?”

“What’s Brittney’s favorite thing about Sam?”

Now, it was Brit’s turn to feel uncomfortable with us staring at her. “It’s a trick question. She loves everything about him” she answered and I saw Sam tense and stare at her gently but she didn’t look up at him.

This lady was completely oblivious to all of this. “Dean's favorite song?”

“It's a tie. Between Zep's ‘Ramble On’ and ‘Traveling Riverside Blues’” Dean answered, with a smile.

She seemed excited to suddenly be in our presence. “Okay. Okay. What do you want to know?”

“What’s Carver Edlund's real name?” Brit asked. “Oh, no. No. I’m sorry, I can’t” she said, apologetic.

“We just want to talk to him. You know, get the ‘Supernatural’ story in his own words” Sam said.

“He’s very private. It’s like Salinger”

“Please. Like I said…we are, um...big, big fans” he said as he unbuttoned his shirt to show his demon-protection tattoo by his collar bone.

Brit lifted her shirt to show her tattoo by her hip bone. Dean and I both rolled our eyes and he pulled down her shirt lightly as I lifted my shirt for her to see it. “Awesome. You know what? I got one, too” she said and turned to lift her shirt and we saw her tattoo that she had on the small of her back.

“Whoa. You are a fan…hey why didn’t you get yours there?” Dean whispered to me. I nudged him and shook my head.

“And hey! You have a belly button ring too! Just like Melissa!”

“Yea” I said, smugly. “Me too” she lifted her shirt for us to see.

Now, she was just grinning at us and then scribbled something down on some paper. “Okay. His name's Chuck Shirley. And he's a genius, so don't piss him off” she instructed and handed us the piece of paper.

“So you do think my eyes are deep, sexy and hypnotizing” Dean teased me as we walked out. I smacked him upside the head and we just walked outside. That was just awkward and uncomfortable….

~~

We got to the address and found the house. Brit and I jumped out of the truck and as we were cautious of our surroundings, we approached the porch, stepped onto it. We all exchanged a look and just shrugged and then Dean pressed the doorbell. In a few long seconds, a guy with a heavy shadow on his chin in a robe, answered the door.

“You Chuck Shirley?” I asked. “The Chuck Shirley who wrote the ‘Supernatural’ books?” Sam added.

“Maybe. Why?”

I'm Dean. This is Sam, Melissa and Brittney. The Dean, Sam, Melissa and Brittney you've been writing about”

“Look, uh... I appreciate your enthusiasm. Really, I do. It's, uh, it's always nice to hear from the fans. But, uh, for your own good, I strongly suggest you get a life” he said and tried to shut the door.

I stuck my foot out to stop it and Dean put his hand out to open it more. “See, here's the thing. We have a life. You've been using it to write your books” he said and I kicked the door all the way open, forcing this guy to back up as we stalked toward him.

“Now, wait a minute. Now, this isn't funny”

“Damn right, it's not funny” I snapped. “Look, we just want to know how you're doing it” Brit said.

“I'm not doing anything”

“Are you a hunter?” Dean asked.

“What? No. I'm a writer”

“Then how do you know so much about demons? And Tulpas, and changelings?”

“Is this some kind of ‘Misery’ thing? Ah, it is, isn't it? It's a ‘Misery’ thing!” Chuck claimed.

“No, it isn’t a ‘Misery’ thing. Believe me when I say we are not fans” I said with venom in my voice.

“Well, then, what do you want?!”

“I'm Sam. That's Dean. And they are Melissa and Brittney” Sam tried again.

“Sam, Dean, Melissa and Brittney are fictional characters. I made them up! They're not real!”

So, we took him outside and Dean and Sam showed him the arsenal in the back of the Impala. “Are those real guns?”

“Yup. This is real rock salt, these are real fake ID’s” Dean said. “And I’ve got the same exact thing in the compartment in the bed of my truck if you’d like to see” I offered.

“No, no, that’s okay…but I got to hand it to you guys. You really are my number one fans. That’s-that’s awesome. So, I-I think I've got some posters in the house” he said, nervously, trying to back up to go back into his house.

“Chuck, stop” Dean said.

“Please wait. Please, don't hurt me” he froze and cringed, shutting his eyes tight. “We aren’t going to hurt you” Brit said. “Wuss” I muttered, annoyed.

“How much do you know? Do you know about the angels? Or Lilith breaking the seals?” Sam asked.

“Wait a minute. How do you know about that?”

“The question is how do you know” Dean said. “Because I wrote it?” he said like it was a trick question.

“You kept writing?” Brit asked.

“Yeah, even after the publisher went bankrupt, but those books never came out…okay, wait a minute. This is some kind of joke, right? Did that…did Phil put you up to this?”

We all looked at each other, then back at Chuck. “Well, nice to meet you. I'm Dean Winchester, this is my brother, Sam, that’s Brittney Hails and that’s Melissa Stern” Dean said and Chuck had this shocked look on his face.

“The last names of Sam, Dean and Brittney were never in the books. I never told any about that. I never even wrote that down” he stated. So, we could’ve told him their last names and he would’ve believed us right away? Good to know.

We were back inside Chuck’s house and he got himself some whiskey as I stepped onto a chair and sat on a very cluttered table. He gulped down the whiskey and then turned back around to look at us and he groaned.

“Oh! Oh, you're still there” he said and he was not thrilled. “Yup” Dean said.

“You're not a hallucination”

“Nope” I said.

“Well, there's only one explanation. Obviously, I'm a god” he said, matter-of-factly. I rolled my eyes. “You're not a god” Sam said.

“How else do you explain it? I write things and then they come to life. Yeah, no, I'm definitely a god. A cruel, cruel, capricious god. The things I put you through…the physical beatings alone”

“Yeah, we're still in one piece” Dean said.

“I killed your father. I burned your mother and your families alive. And then you had to go through the whole horrific deal again with Jessica and making Brittney a part of this and making Melissa this prodigy who’s supposed to follow in her fathers footsteps. Making her more abnormal than she already is and dragging Brittney down with her” he shook his head.

I tensed up and eyes widened as my face became hard. “Chuck…” Brit started.

“All for what? All for the sake of literary symmetry. I toyed with your lives, your emotions, for...entertainment”

“You didn't toy with us, Chuck, okay? You didn't create us” Dean said.

“Did you really have to live through the bugs?”

“Yea” Brit cringed.

“What about the ghost ship?”

“Yes, that too” Dean said.

“I am so sorry. I mean, horror is one thing, but to be forced to live bad writing...if I would have known it was real, I would have done another pass”

“Chuck, you're not a god!” I snapped. “We think you're probably just psychic” Sam said. “No. If I were psychic, you think I'd be writing? Writing is hard” he complained.

“It seems that somehow, you're just...focused on our lives” Brit said. “Yeah, like laser-focused. Are you working on anything right now?” Dean asked.

“Holy crap” he said and I watched as he suddenly realized something. “What?” I asked.

“The, uh, latest book? It's, uh, it's kind of weird” he said, picking up some pages. “Weird how?” Sam questioned.

“It's very Vonnegut”

“Slaughterhouse-Five Vonnegut or Cat’s Cradle Vonnegut?” Dean asked. We all stared at him, shocked he even knew what Chuck meant by Vonnegut. “What?” Sam, Brit and I asked him.

I don’t even think we knew what either of them were talking about. “What?” he said, defensively. “It's, uh, Kilgore Trout Vonnegut. I wrote myself into it. I wrote myself, at my house...confronted by my characters” Chuck continued. Alrighty then.

Night started to fall and we went to a nearby laundry mat. Sam and Brit were loading up the washing machines as Dean and I sat on a table, reading Chuck’s latest manuscript.

“I’m sitting in a Laundromat, reading about myself sitting in a Laundromat reading about myself” Dean said.

“And I’m sitting in a Laundromat, reading over your shoulder about myself sitting in a Laundromat reading over your shoulder about myself” I said and half-mocked.

He just glared lightly at me. “My head hurts” he said, though.

“There's got to be something this guy's not telling us” Sam spoke.

“Sam tossed his gigantic darks into the machine. He was starting to have doubts about Chuck, about whether he was telling the whole truth. All the while, Brittney stood beside him, unsure of what to make of this Chuck character” Dean read.

They both looked over at us. “Stop it”

“Stop it, Sam said” Dean read.

“Hey, hey, Sam, guess what you do next” I said, finding a lot of amusement in this. “Sam turned his back on Dean and Melissa, his face brooding and pensive, while Brittney and Melissa grinned in amusement” I read.

“I mean, I don't know how he's doing it, but this guy is doing it. Brittney and Melissa are both grinning and I can't see your face, but those are definitely your ‘brooding and pensive’ shoulders” Dean said.

Sam sighed as Dean looked down at the manuscript. Then, he looked back up. “You just thought I was a dick” Sam turned around, seemingly impressed. “The guy's good” he said and Dean’s face fell as Brit and I laughed.