Loser.

The next morning i met up with Aaron as arranged, we decided to go to the video store to grab the newest release and go watch it back at his house. As they day went on Aaron realized that i wasn't being myself.

"Whats up D, your acting really odd today?" His puzzled face looked so cute.

"Nothing, just I'm sorry about yesterday i guess" i couldn't tell him the real reason about my mum.

Aaron seemed to believe it and he settled back down and carried on watching the film, while i just sat their and tried to figure out what was going on with my mum.

----- 4months later ------

"You stupid cow! how could you do that you know that i don't want anyone round!" My mother screamed at me while i was stood at the bottom of the stairs.

"but mum its Dylan, my boyfriend its not just anyone..!" i replied trying not to set my mum off again, she had been constantly beating me now for 4 months since that night i argued with Aaron and i didn't know why.

"I don't care WHO it is, he's not coming here!!" She shouted and threw a picture frame down the stairs at me, i ducked and it smashed behind me. Shaking i turned around and went to pic up the picture from the smashed glass. Tears came to my eyes when i saw what picture it was.

My father and mother happily hugging me when i was about three. Back when everything was okay, my father left us when i was 10 he argued with my mum to much and then found a new wife called candy. The only contact I'm allowed with him is chatting over the phone while mum is in the room so she can check it. however these past 4 months mum hasn't given me her phone so i have had no contact.

I miss my dad like crazy yet i have no idea where he lives or even what his number is. I still haven't told Aaron or Dylan about my mum beating me. i don't know what to do, I'm scared that if i tell them they will call the social or worse the police and mum will be taken away and I'll be put into care.

I took my phone out of my pocket and told Dylan he couldn't come round today as mum was feeling under the weather and i was going to stay in and look after her. He accepted it and then put the phone down. I have never felt so lonely in my life, No family, no friends and no love. I wished i had my dad here with me to hold me make sure everything was okay but he wasn't here.

The next couple of days i stayed off school and mum had taken away my phone. I didn't speak to Dylan or Aaron. and i didn't really eat anything, i felt like shit and mum wasn't helping by taking everything out on me because i was the only one there. I stayed in bed all day hiding from her only coming out when i needed the loo or a glass of water. I started getting really thin, then after a four days of not going to school and not being able to speak to anyone, Aaron came and called for me. Banging on my front door and shouting my name. Luckily mum was out down the pub so i snuck out of bed and slowly took myself to the front door.

I threw myself into Aaron's arms crying.

"Aaron, please don't leave me, i need you" tears fell down my cheeks and onto his school shirt.

"Fuck D whats happened to you, where have you been" Aaron's face showed pure shock as he took me inside and layed me on my sofa, he laid me across his lap and he started to play with my hair.

"Its mum" i hesitated not knowing whether to tell him or not.
"i...i think she's really ill and Ive been spending all my time looking after her, guess i haven't been thinking about myself" it was the biggest lie i have ever told but i couldn't tell him. Not yet anyway.

After an hour sitting and talking to Aaron i promised i would come back to school and carry on like normal and try not to worry so much about my mum. Aaron left and i was left to face the wrath of my mother when she came home drunk... once again.

2years later

Mum swung at me again for the 5th time as i just lay limp on the floor. Her words no longer audible to me just humming noise somewhere above me. I saw blood around me, i guessed it was my own but i had no idea if it was or not. She started kicking me, again and again, pain no longer acknowledgeable to me. I couldn't feel anything. Then just as soon as it started she stopped. She disappeared and left me to recover on my own.

After a few hours i was able to stand up and take myself back to my room crawl into bed and think over what had just happened.

This was the final straw now... Dylan had broken up with me about a year ago because of the arguments and not being able to see each other anywhere other than school.

I had even lost Aaron, my precious best friend who had been there for me through thick and thin for 3years.. He hated me now, wouldn't even look my way in the corridor at school. i needed him here now more than ever but nothing i could do now would bring him back.

That was it i couldn't bear it any longer..

I needed to end it and i needed to end it now!

I searched through my mums medicine cabin ate. Empty... i wasn't brave enough to drown myself. there was nothing i could hang myself from. I ran to the kitchen and grabbed the sharpest knife from the draw.

I stood there in the middle of the kitchen Knife in hand shaking. I didn't think about it just cut.. Blood everywhere, i fell to the floor no longer able to hold myself up.
The last thing i thought about before i traveled into unconsciousness was how much i just wanted Aaron to be there for me...