Everybody Has a Reason

The following morning, Conner awoke with a thumping headache, a churning stomach and a sore throat.

His head throbbing worst and worst as he opened his eyes. He realized he had a hang over. As he closed his eyes again, pulling the covers around him tightly. He replayed last night’s blurry images. What did he do?

He now remembered that he basically screamed at his girlfriend. He pushed his brother and called him several bad names. All because he got drunk. His brother, he could work out. Conner realized that he had messed up big time with Lila. What if she didn’t forgive him?

Conner clutched his head as it throbbed more “SHIT!” he says too loudly as the door opened and in walked Frankie, dressed in batman pyjamas.

Conner watched his brother walk in and jump on the bed, making it bounce which worsened Conner’s pain.

“No Frankie, don’t jump” Conner tells him, signing a few things. Frankie sighed. Frankie signed something to Conner.

“I know I messed up” he mumbled, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

Frankie signed a the same again, but more emphasized.

“Okay! I messed up big time! I know Frankie….Where’s Ma?” he asks, signing along.

Frankie smiled and signed “Downstairs”

Conner ruffled his brother’s head as he slowly got out of bed, finding a t-shirt and pulling that over his head and pulling some grey sweatpants on too. He glanced in the mirror, he looked terrible. Worse then terrible actually.

Frankie jumped off the bed and ran past him, bounding downstairs, probably to announce Conner was coming down.

Conner went to the bathroom and did his business, and washed his hands. He glanced into that mirror. He washed his face and damped his hair slightly. A wave of nausea went through him and he soon vomited into the toilet.

Coughing and spluttering, he wiped his mouth with some tissue and flushed away, he cleaned his mouth out and brushed his teeth to get rid of the awful, rancid taste.

He opened the bathroom window, so it wouldn’t stick and left the bathroom, slowly walking downstairs, any sudden movements made his head boom louder.

He could hear Ma in the kitchen and Paddy. He poked his head into the living room, Pippin was at nursery school today, and Shaun was watching the rugby as usual. Shaun looked up and saw his brother.

“Morning” he chirps, loudly on purpose. Conner grimaced.

“Morning” he croaks.

Shaun chuckles and makes himself comfortable again on the settee. “You know Conner. You really fucked up last night” he says, in a sing song voice that irritated Conner more.

“I know” he mumbled and shuffles out, into the kitchen. Frankie and Paddy were playing cards on the small kitchen table and Ma was cooking brunch, seeing as it was 11 o clock.

Maggie spotted him first.

“Morning Conner” she says softly, and stopped preparing the pancake mixture. She walked over to Conner and kissed his head.

“Want some water and painkillers?” she asks gently, rubbing his back. Conner nodded weakly. He felt confused, shouldn’t she be furious with him for throwing up most of the night, shouting at her other son, shouting at her girlfriend, swearing every bad word under the sun and all she says is Morning?

Paddy didn’t even glance at him, Conner knew he was mad. Frankie slammed his hand on the table, announced Snap.

“Frankie, that’s an Ace. The last number was a 7” Paddy explains and Frankie frowns. Paddy chuckles and lets him take the cards anyway. Paddy was winning anyways.

Maggie gave Conner a glass of lemon water and painkillers and told him to seat down. Conner took a seat beside Frankie and watched them play, as his headache wore off slightly.

“I’ve made pancakes, but you’re probably chuck them back up. So have a ginger biscuit and I’ll find some ginger ale too” Maggie says, passing Conner the biscuit tin. Conner nodded, knowing he couldn’t deny anything.

Frankie slammed the table again and Paddy smiled “Frankie. It’s the wrong card” he signs. Frankie frowns again and gets up, not wanting to play anymore.

“Paddy” chides Maggie as Frankie hugs her legs as she cooks. Paddy chuckled, throwing his cards in the middle and sipped his brew.

Conner stared at his brother, willing him to look at him.

“You not going to speak to me?” Conner bravely asks. Paddy looks at him, a flash of anger in his eyes but he remains calm on the outside.

“You don’t bloody deserve it. After last night I should be beating the crap out of you.” Paddy says warningly. Conner sighs, burying his head in his hands.

“I know, I know” he moans, guilt washing inside of him.

“I mean, yeah you can screw me over but shouting at Lila? You’re more of a bastard for that” Paddy says angrily, sipping his tea.

“Paddy!” Ma says sternly, kissing Frankie’s head. Frankie signed something to her and she signed something back.

“Love you too, son” Ma says tenderly, kissing his cheek over and over again and Frankie laughed, squirming away but secretly loving the attention.

“What were you thinking? She was worried about you Conner. You just threw back in her face-” Paddy begins to lecture.

“I was drunk!” he argues.

“No excuse, you should of called her, explained what was going on, then gone and got drunk then I would picked you up. Don’t ever drive home in that condition again. You hear?” Paddy says in such a scary tone, Conner just nodded.

Ma smiled wistfully, Paddy was just like their father, protective and scary sometimes. Paddy loved his brothers till death and the thought of one them getting hurt, was a weak point for him.

“Yeah, sorry” Conner says, sipping the water generously.

Paddy sighed “Now, go shower. You stink and go beg your sorry arse to Lila before she realizes that she could do better” he mutter, but in a light tone. Conner smiles slightly and gets up, finishing his water and goes back upstairs to prepare for his apologies.

---

“Lilly! Conner’s here” Maria shouted up to her goddaughter, who didn’t hear as she was listening to her headphones from her laptop. She just been on a recent shopping spree for her ipod. She was listening to her music and didn’t hear Conner step in.
A hand placed on her shoulder, making her jump so much and scream that she stumbled, banging her knee on her desk, and falling not so elegantly on the floor. Perfect.

“I’m sorry!” a male voice says, Lila recognized it. Conner.

Lila mumbles and sits up, focusing her eyes on a spot to regain her senses.

Conner crouched down in front of her, smiling weakly. Lila frowned suddenly.

“You sober?” she asks bitterly, crossing her arms trying to look annoyed but seeing as she was sitting on the floor with her legs now crossed and arms crossed, she got the luck of a huffy child.

“Yeah, look Lilly-” he begins, but she glares at him.

“No! Don’t think you can come back like this. You really hurt me last night Conner. I didn’t mean to get up in your business all the time. I mean, I just…I love you Conner and I want to spend time with you-” Lila rambles but is cut off by the warm, comforting lips of Conner.

Lila lost the point of her argument as she kissed him back, instantly locking her arms around his neck and sitting up properly. Conner pulled away slightly, smiled at her guiltily.

“Lila Scott. I’m so, so sorry for how I treated you last night. I was drunk and upset. I didn’t mean a word I said to you. I love you Lila. A lot. I’d do anything to make you smile because I simply do love you. I beg, I plead, I beseech for your forgiveness” he says, smiling slightly.

Lila took one look in those green eyes that she loved, she half laughed, easing the tension.

“I forgive you” she whispers, pecking his lips. Conner smiles into the kiss and hugs her tightly from the waist.
“I’m sorry” he mumbles apologetically, kissing her temple. Conner sat down in front of her, and Lila crawled into his lap, sitting between his legs.

“Me too. I didn’t mean to make everything about me” she says seriously. Conner sighed heavily, he felt more guilty for making her feel bad.

“It’s not. I just. I never told you. I should have. I should have shared my weaknesses too” he says quietly, looking away suddenly. Lila took his face in her hands and made him look at him.

“Tell me then” she demands softly, smiling and making Conner’s stomach jump from giddiness.

Conner lies down on the carpet and Lila laid on top of him, smirking. Conner chuckled, his chest making Lila giggle, she slid off him to the side, and she curled up against him, his arm around his gently. They both stared at her ceiling, plain white and blank.

Conner sighs and begins to tell her. “My Dad was amazing in my opinion. He was tough, strong, yet caring and loving. He supported us no matter what. I remember he got me my first guitar and paid for all my piano lessons and singing lessons” Conner says in a passionate tone.

“He sounds it” Lila whispers, nibbling on her thumb nail and continued to listen.

“Him and Ma were loved up like teenagers. They’d been married over 20 years marriage. Whenever I learnt a new song, Ma and him would sit in the living room and I’d play for ages. Hours on end and they’d both sit there and he’d cheer and tell me to play again and more. He loved us. He worked for us. He was there for us. Pips was only just born, about 6 months I think when he died. He was so protective of her, calling her his little girl forever and always. Pippin obviously doesn’t remember. But I did. I heard him talking to her at night and cuddling her.” Conner said in a voice that Lila couldn’t describe, it was mellow and distant.

She patted his chest, letting him know that she was here for him. He smiled weakly.

“He was a smoker though. He always smoked, ever since he was a lad. And eventually it caught up with him. He got lung cancer when I was 12, he battled for about two years. Just before his second operation, he just passed away while he was asleep. I never really understood” Conner says.

Lila sat up suddenly, looking at him. “You shouldn’t have to” she says kindly and Conner smiles meekly and pulls her back down gently and brought her close to him. Their hands finding each other and linking tightly.

“I love you Lilly. I’m sorry I messed up. I really am” Conner says seriously, kissing her head. Lila smiled lovingly “I love you too Conner. We all make mistakes” she whispers, kissing his lips. Conner smiled, sighing with content and relief. Content with being with Lila and relief that he hadn’t lost her.