All I Wanted

Mikey, Bob and Ray had some radio thing out of town, so I was alone Monday night. I had decided to hang out with Drew. He was talking about this party up in Barrington. I wasn't one for parties, and I was missing Mikey.

"Come on, it'll be fun," Drew pushed as we hung out on my porch.

"I dunno, I can't dance," I excused looking at my feet.

"Then get wasted with me."

"Last time I got wasted at a party, it went bad. I don't want a repeat."

"No one from Whitney will be there," he titillated happily.

"Who will be then?"

"My friend, Will, he's throwing the party, and all my old friends from Barrington will be there, of course," he grinned at me, "we can just get drunk until we fall over."

I shrugged, "Okay," I hummed, "but I won't be getting too drunk. I'm not a lush."
-

Will's home was massive; cars in the massive drive way, big front porch, large clear windows and even a water fountain out front. Anyone would be envious of a house like this.

I pulled up, parked out in the front, and got out. I was dressed down, as always, and took Drew's hand. He marched us up the porch, the bass of the stereo shook the windows, and made me wince at the thought of them breaking and crashing down on me. 

"Willie!" Drew called as the door opened and I was pulled through the threshold; my thoughts of death were erased.

"Who's the hottie?" Will, I guessed, asked Drew, staring down at me.

Dre grinned, "This is Sunny," I waved nicely at Will.

Will nodded, "Cute. I'm Will Bishop," we shook hands, formally, and we were quickly led to the kitchen.
-

I was leaning against the counter, staring at the swaying bodies of people I had never met. I took a sip of my auburn colored drink, and winced when it burned at my throat. I tossed the plastic red cup in the trash and turned to Will, who was handling the keg, Drew and, a new friend, Craig.

"Hit me, soldier," I slurred to him.

"Anything, doll," he cooed with a grin.

I took the red cup and looked down. I was pretty sure, that this piss colored drink, was beer. I sipped it, the bitter taste let me know it was.

"Are you tipsy?" Will asked.

"No," I answered, "weak shit."

They broke out into laughter, I just rolled my eyes and leaned against the counter. I chugged the beer, passing the empty cup to Drew, "More?"

I shook my head, "No, I'm gonna go get sober," I motioned to the back door.

"Let me come with you," he nodded to Will and Craig, and took my hand.

We went out the back door, no one was out there, and the air was slightly cool, from the lake near by. We sat on the patio, sitting on the concrete. Drew let my hand go and looked me over.

"I'm so fucking tired," I mumbled.

"You aren't drunk?"

"No, I can only get drunk if I keep chugging," it was the truth, its like I'm immune to alcohol.

"I'm a little tipsy," he chuckled.

We both sat in silence, my vision was a little blurry, but the cool air was pulling me back into perfection. I sighed, leaning against Drew.

"What time are we leaving?" I asked.

"Whenever."

The silence took us over again. We both stared at the swing set in the yard, the crickets chirping, and the lake's soft tide hitting the grass, far off.

"I wanna show you something," he broke the chirping.

"What?" I asked, moving from him.

"Let's go back inside first."

I got up, helping him, and we ended up back inside. The music greeted us, Drew took my hand, and led me to the front. People, all around, seem to be oblivious of us, it was a weird feeling.

Drew led me upstairs, knowing me, and my knowledge of bad TV movies, I knew where this was going. I didn't fight it, I mean, I had a taste of Mikey, why couldn't I try a few more steaks?

"In here," he cut my thoughts.

He opened the door, exposing a little girl's room; pink furry covering on every corner, stuffed animals, Barbie dolls scattered in one corner. I instantly felt horrible. I followed in first, as Drew trudged me in, and closed the door behind us. I sighed heavily, sitting on her bed, I couldn't do this.

Drew made his way over to me, stopping in front of me, "Drew, I can't--" he cut me off by pressing his lips to mine; one of the grossest and sloppiest kiss I had ever had.

I put my hands against his chest, pushing him again; he wasn't expecting it, "Wha...what the fuck?"

"I can't sleep with you," I told him, "not while we're in a kid's room."

He frowned, "Want another room?"
I furrowed my brows, "No!" I was starting to get angry, "I'm not sleeping with you period!"

He looked angry, "Fuck, come on!" he pressed himself against me, again.

"No, get off!" I pushed him away.

"Stop being a tease!" he started towards me again.

"I'm not being a tease!" I stood up, pushing him away, "Fuck you!"

He grabbed me by my neck, quickly pushing me against the little girl's vanity; knocking her trinkets on the floor.

"Get...get the fuck off!" I was running out of air, his hand pressed harder, and his slimy lips were on mine.

My legs kicked, my hands were scratching his arms, and trying to pull his hand from my neck.

"Stop fighting!" his other hand held my wrist.

"Ugh!" I grunted, my throat was growing tight.

I could hear the loud music, the sound of my ass crushing things that didn't belong to me, Drew's heavy breathing, and then sound of his zipper coming down.

"No!" I screamed out, "No!"

"Stop fighting!" he yelled, bashing my head against the mirrored vanity; thank God it didn't break.

I looked around, his messy hair fell over his face, I looked for a weakness. My eyes swelled, my heart was beating fast, and just as I thought I was going to lose, the door opened. There was Craig; we both looked over, Drew loosen his grip, dropping me on my knees, "Oh, shit, did I--"

I kicked Drew in his crotch and bolted up. I heard him grunt, and I ran out of the room. 
-

My car was my haven. I sat in the driver side, parked at an unknown location, sobbing. My head was on the steering wheel, tears poured from my eyes, and music played lightly.

I couldn't stop myself, I felt so disgusted, so tired, so sick, I wanted to jump off a bridge. I couldn't stop the tears, I couldn't stop the thought of how much I wanted/needed Frank. 

I looked up, from the wheel, and looked to where I was. I had driven to this deserted lot in a semi-drunken haze. I swallowed the hard lump in my throat, and started my car. I didn't know which way was home, and I didn't know where to go.

I just wanted to be home.

I wanted to be with Frank.