From The Lights To The Pavement

1 YEAR ON

"Get the doorbell" I shouted from the kitchen

"Getting it" replied the voice of Joani, my next door neighbour.

I continued with taking the mugs of tea and coffee and glasses full of other drinks on a tray next door.

"Who was it?" I shouted back, figuring she would have opened the door by now.

"Franks parents" I walked into the room and looked at the small crowd of people before me. "Hey Linda and David" I smiled at Franks parents.

"Hello" replied Linda "Oh look at our little grandkid, he looks so old"

"I remember when he was just tiny" David also added in.

"I know, it seems like just yesterday" It didn’t though. It really didn’t. Since Holden arrived time has seemed to go slower. Frankie continued to make the new album after Holden was just seven months. And right now he's touring Europe for their new album. All to miss his first child's birthday. I tried my best to make him try and come today but he couldn't, he really wanted to but it was all down to the label. I can definitely say Frankie and I have drifted apart since the new albums came out. We talk every day but were just not the same as we used to be.

"Its just a shame Frankie couldn’t make it. He doesn’t know what he's missing" Mrs Way told me handing over my son to Linda.

I nodded my head not really wanting to think about it.

"I'm just gonna get a drink" I murmured before leaving the room. I walked upstairs slowly taking my time to climb the stairs which I vacuumed earlier this morning to make the house spotless for now. Something a husband should help his wife with.

I laid on the bed feeling emotions take over me. I guess I should expect to feel like that since its that time of the month, but these emotions were grinding me down. But if I felt them before in my life I would have told Frankie and gotten them of my chest, nowadays I cant do that. He's too tied up. I shook my head feel shameful of myself.

"Darlers" I heard Joani calling as her voice got louder indicating she was coming up the stairs.

"yeah" I replied

"You okay? You've been gone twenty minutes" I looked at the clock to the left of me on by bedside table.

"I must have fallen asleep"

"Oh, you don’t look to well. Do you want me to tell them all your not well"

"Please, I feel so tired"

"Okay, you get some rest! You need it"

"Thanks!" I smiled at her as she left the room.

I closed my eyes nodding off.

I woke up yawning and looking to my clock a note was taped to it.

I put Holden in his crib and left the presents downstairs.
Hope you had a good nap and call me if you need anything else!
JOANI OX

I moaned to myself for being so rude to go to sleep at my own sons party.

"Better check on the little one" I reminded myself standing up from the bed and uncreassing my clothes against my skin.

I walked to his room, which me and Frankie decorated more before he left for the new album since it needed a bit of doing of as the room was a bit too childish for a year old.

I looked in the crib and saw nothing but blankets.

"Oh shit" I mumbled to myself having thoughts of my child being kidnapped flooding into my head. I felt a tear roll itself down my cheek at the thought. The next thought was to phone the police.

I ran downstairs stopping as I saw a figure with its back turned to me in the kitchen sitting down. I grabbed a vase that Linda had given me at Christmas incase the intruder got too close and I would need to protect myself.

"Who the hell are you?" I called out loudly.

The persons head turned to face mine. "What the fuck?" they replied.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Its my sons birthday, I can be here if I want"

"Yeah, but you should be in Europe somewhere doing a concert"

"I encouraged our support bands guitarist to learn my parts and play them tonight and tomorrow, the next day we get three more days off before the tour in Canada."

"You should have called me. I thought someone had kidnapped Holden" I walked down the rest of the stairs to where Frankie was sitting holding Holden.

"I wanted to surprise you"

I looked at his hair. It wasn’t much of a surprise but it had changed. He'd changed it to a blondish Mohawk.

"Holden and I missed you lots" I ran my hands through his hair.

I looked at my son in his fathers arms. "I missed you guys more. It was hard being on the road knowing I had a beautiful wife at home and a wonderful son." He paused looking down from Holden up to me in his seat. I listened on, "I missed you loads" He pouted his lips signalling for a kiss. I pressed mine to him, feeling what I've been missing for a long time. "I missed being able to do that " Frankie also said. "I missed it so much I was close to kissing Gerard!"

I smiled feeling like we were young again. "You wanna see what everyone got Holdy?" I asked him.

"No, I wanna give him his present from me first" I nodded as Frank got up from the chair handing Holden over to me. I followed him to the lounge sitting down on the sofa as Frank rummaged through his bag on the coffee table. I watched as he pulled out two quickly wrapped looking presents.

"Nicely wrapped" I laughed

"It was all I could find on the bus" I smiled looking at the gifts wrapped in paper decorated with Santa all over. "You can open it for him" Frank mumbled as he sat next to me and handed one over.

"kay" I kept Holden safely on me as I unwrapped the gifts. "Oh baby its cute" I grinned looking at the beautiful book in front of me. I opened the first page seeing a picture of Frank, and I with Holden in my arms on the day after I gave birth to Holden in the hospital.

"We can like put pictures of him in it until he's older for memories. I didn’t wanna get him anything crappy since he's not gonna be able to use it at this age"

"I know, it’s a cute idea. I love it Frankie baby" I kissed him on the cheek. "And Holden loves it too!"

"Oh and this I for you, I saw it and thought of you"

He does spoil me. I unwrapped the Christmas paper revealing a saucy number of underwear garments. "I love them" I laughed at his cheeky face.

"Yeah, I thought maybe you could show me them later" he told me winking.

"Depends if you’re a good boy"

"I always am" He whispered against my neck before gently nipping at it. He pulled away. "I'm hungry"

"Theres food from the party earlier left I think"

"Yeah, I'll go eat some of that" I watched him walk off towards the kitchen.

"You have no idea how much I love your daddy baby. And you have no idea how much he loves you baby boy" I whispered to Holden.

Frankie popped his head into the room, "Want something to eat?" he grunted with his mouth stuffed. I shook my head.

"Holden needs his rest" I walked upstairs to put him in his crib. I walked back downstairs after doing this, to sit next to my husband flicking through the music channels.

"I love you Darth" Frank whispered taking my hand in his and placing it to his lips.

"I love you too"

"Do you think we've grown apart" He whispered back.

I thought back to my feelings earlier of thinking that we had.

"Yeah a bit, but that’s because we have a child. That’s what happens to most people when they have kids"

"Yeah, I agree. I was saying to the guys how your relationship grows stronger having a kid but grows a apart a bit" he paused moving some hair out my eyes way. "It's because it gives us less time together."

I nodded agreeing with what he was saying, "I still love you as much as I ever have though"

"I love you even more than I first met you"

"You do?"

"mhmm, I love you more 'cos you gave me a beautiful kid." I smiled.

"Were gonna have more though, aren't we?"

"Yeah, maybe we can start trying soon, I've been thinking about it for a bit"

"Yeah I'd like that. Another little Iero"

I smiled at the thought of my family growing.