From The Lights To The Pavement

"What that mean?" I looked over to Frankie mentally asking him for help.

"It means Holden, your gonna have a sister or brother"

We both watched as Holden sat there taking in what we had just told him.

"Do you understand baby?" I asked him.

"Yes Ma"

I smiled at my son as he sat on the sofa looking at me. "Give me a hug then"

Frankie and I had decided to start telling people about me carrying child when the bump had started to show.
Which I can happily say is now.

"Ma, your still love me the same?" Holden asked in my arms.

"Always always" I smiled at Frank as he sat opposite watching giving me a wink.

"How about you go and watch some cartoons on the telly now, yeah?" I watched as Holden hurried off to the lounge area on the tour bus My Chemical Romance are using.

"That went well" Frank muttered moving from his seat next to mine.

"I know, he's a good boy" I smiled to myself as Frank coiled his arm around me.

"So we gonna tell the band at the bar tomorrow?"

"Yeah, you can. I cant"

"Why not?" Frankie asked.

"Well who's gonna look after Holden?" I looked at Frankie as he gave me an 'oh' face. "Look, you go and tell them and I'll watch Holden"

"Noooooo" he whined "Your coming, I'll find someone to look after him"

"No, that’s not safe"

"How about I phone my mom?"

"What you think shes gonna come all the way over to Pennsylvania from New Jersey?"

"Yeah, she will"

"Whatever. Try if you want, but if she doesn’t I'm staying here with our child" I walked off the bus needing a breath of fresh air. As it gets stuffy spending a long of time in the small space.

"Hey" I jumped in shock

"You scared me I didn’t see you there" I told Gerard as I sat down next to him at a picnic table near the bus.

"Aahaha, you coming tonight?" Gerard asked taking a puff from his cigarette.

"Maybe if Frankie gets him mom to look after Holden" I paused getting an inhale of smoke. "You really shouldn’t smoke Gee"

"You know if you gave me a dollar for every time you've said that to me. I'd be living in a mansion!"

"I know, its just I don’t wanna see my best friend be in his grave early"

"I stopped the drinking though"

I frowned remembering the bad days and then smiled of how Gerard stopped. "I know I'm so proud of you for that. Thank you."

"I wouldn’t have been able to do it if it weren't for my friends" he sighed putting the cancer stick to his lips.

"MAAAAAA" I turned my head to see Holden running out of the bus. "Da says I'm staying with Nana for two weeks"

"Oh" I paused. Two weeks is a long time. The longest I haven't been with Holden is two days. "Are you okay with that?"

"Yeah. Nana says we can go park everyday" I smiled as I ruffled his hair.

"Are you saying I'm not gonna see my favourite little dude for two whole weeks?" Gerard whined in exaggeration.

"Yeah" Holden giggled

"Cant I come with you?" I laughed as Gerard pulled a puppy face.

"No, your makes nanas house smell" Holden replied in his childish tone.

"Yeah of roses and nice smelling things" Gerard whined back

I laughed at the small playful fight between the two.

"nah uh" Holden replied crossing his arms.

"Fine then" Gerard pouted. "I'm gonna eat you"

Gerard and I watched as Holden ran off screaming onto the bus.

"You scared my son shitless now Gerard, he's not gonna be able to sleep for days." I laughed shaking my head.

"Oh well, proves he's a puff like your husband"

"Whatever" We sat in silence for a few minutes. I watched as Gerard stubbed out his cigarette.

"You know Gerard, your make a good dad one day. I can imagine it all"

"I don’t know."

"You will. Trust me"

"We should go in its getting dark"

I nodded as Gerard offered me a hand getting up. "Thanks" I muttered following him into the bus.