Gotta Have You

This was a defining moment in our post-break-up life. My first second date since the one you and I shared. I can't say I was okay with it, but you deserve someone better. You deserve someone who'll respect your need to work hard to reach your dream, who'll appreciate you for the amazing, talented, gorgeous man you are.

I'd decided to move on to someone more at my level. I felt bad for running out on Rob that night, so I gave him a call. I explained myself and even after a month, he was still willing to meet up with me, this time for dinner. The café didn't serve dinner, so I knew I was safe.

It was getting really cold in New York, now that it was practically December. That wasn't making it any better, either. I was about to face my first Christmas without you in five years and I wasn't sure I could make it through without some intense amounts of alcohol and friends to make sure I didn't do anything too stupid.

But for now, I was sitting across form Rob in a posh and very expensive-looking restaurant, wearing a suit and tie. This was not my normal scene. At all... There were even glasses of red wine in front of both of us an dI was feeling entirely too out of place. The only time I've ever drunk wine was for our anniversary, the one when you took me to the top of the empire state building at midnight (you had a friend that worked the elevators there) and we'd had a picnic. But I was wearing jeans then...

"I'm glad you called me again." Rob said. "And I'm happy you agreed to see me again."

"I'm glad I did, too." I lied said. "I've been moping around too much." Well, that part was true.

"Yeah, I"m sorry to hear about that. 5 years is a long time to be with someone."

"It really is."

"Mind telling me how that ended?"

"Um, he was on the fast track as a comic book artist and I was sick of being pushed aside."

"Did you ever talk to him about it?" Rob asked.

"Yeah... I mean, right before I broke up with him."

"Sounds to me like you didn't really give him a chance."

"What do you mean?" I asked, shocked that my date was lecturing me on not giving my ex a chance.

"If he really loved what he did, it might have been really easy for him to slip into it and escape form the world. You told me you're a writer. What happens when you really get into a scene and can't stop writing? Isn't it easy to forget the world around you when you don't have someone to remind you that the world is still happening around you?"

I nodded in understanding.

"And how good was this ex-boyfriend of yours at maintaining the delicate balance between giving you space to work, while still bringing you back to the real world when you need to?"

"He's amazing." I said, remembering all the times when you would pry me away from my computer when i was over-stressing about a deadline or a plot hole I'd discovered in my newest novel.

"You really miss him, don't you?" Rob asked. "I can see it in your eyes."

"Yeah." I sighed.

"How long has it been?"

"Three, almost four months." I said, missing you even more.

"Have you seen him since?"

"I wish." I said. "I know you probably don't want to hear this, seeing as we're supposed to be on a date, but I still love him. So much. We just... we understood each other so well, better than anyone else ever could. We clicked. We never needed to force anything. It just came naturally."

"Then what are you doing having dinner with me?"

"I still need him, more than anything, and I love him so much. But he deserves better. You said yourself I didn't give him a chance. He deserves someone who appreciates him for how talented he is and someone as good as he is. I could never be good enough for him. Not after what I did, what I put him through. He's probably moved on by now."

"Has he found someone new?"

"He isn't dating, as far as I've heard from his brother."

"Then how do you know he's not as hung up on you as you are on him? The fact that you think so highly of him makes you good enough. You love him, and he loves you. That's all that matters."

"Why are you so amazing? You're being so nice to me." I asked, realizing that we were still, supposedly, on a date.

"Because I could tell all the way back in the grocery store that there was a piece of you missing form your life. I thought maybe I could be the one to fill that hole, but now I can see there's only one person who can do that, and it sure as hell isn't me. And the way I see it, neither of you will ever be the same without the other."

"Why couldn't you have told me this before I broke up with him?"

"Because you wouldn't have understood, even if we did know each other then. You guys will grow from this, trust me. If you go and get him, I know you'll last forever."

"You really think so?" I asked.

"I'm almost 100% positive."

"Thank you so much."

"It's no problem." Rob said. "Now go get your man back."

I stood up and hugged Rob tightly, thanking him once again.

He was right.

Gee, you and I are forever. And nothing will ever change that.