Gotta Have You

I went back to Ray's apartment and sat on the couch, trying to decide what I could possibly do that would be enough to win you back. You're amazing person, and you deserve something amazing.

After three hours, though, I decided I needed reinforcements.

So now, Mikey and Ray were sitting on the couch and I was pacing back and forth in front of the TV, their eyes watching me like a tennis match.

"And I have to get him back, but I just don't know how. And I'm afraid he'll say no." I said, finishing the story of everything Rob told me.

There was silence momentarily, followed by two of the tightest hugs I'd ever been given in my entire life.

"Thank god for that!" Ray said, "We thought we'd just have to watch you both wallow in self-pity for the rest of our lives."

"You're going to make my brother so happy." Mikey said, smiling so wide I thought his face would split in half. "He still loves you so much. When you guys broke up, well, he broke down. He lost it for a while there. Trust me when I say, he won't say no."

"Thanks for the support guys, but please stop squishing me." I said, struggling to breathe. "Though this still doesn't solve the problem of how to get him back."

"Don't do anything fancy." Ray said. "Just tell him what you just told us."

"Yeah," Mikey said, "My brother loves you so much, for who you are, not what you do for him. He won't care how you ask him out again, he'll just care that you asked. It's already special, because you never made the first move when you were together. That's enough."

"You're right." I said, suddenly remembering something I bought a while ago. "But there's one thing that'll make this perfect."

I showed them what I'd bought and they hugged me again.

"Go." Mikey said. "Go make my brother the happiest he's ever been."

"Mikey, it's after midnight." Ray said.

"Ray, when have you known Gee to go to sleep before 2 am?" I said, laughing.

"Fair point." Ray smiled.

"Hey." Mikey said softly. "You're using his nickname again." He sounded like he might cry. "You don't know how happy I am for both of you. I hate seeing my brother and best friend upset, and never want to see you upset at the same time again."

"I"m happy, too." I beamed. "here, I'll see you later. I'm off to get my man."

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I was standing outside the intercom panel of what used to be our apartment.

5A: G. Way & F. Iero

You never took my name off of the label.

If I wasn't sure then, I am now.

"Hello?"

God, you don't know how glad I was to hear your voice again.

"Gee?" I asked nervously. I don't now if you could hear it, but my voice was shaking. "Can I come up?"

"Frankie?" That nickname. After the break-up, I refused to let anyone else call me that. It only reminded me of you. But hearing you say it again made me remember what it was like to feel butterflies in your stomach. "What are you doing here?"

"Can I tell you in person? I really need to see you again."

You didn't respond for a while and I got really worried, but I waited. I would have stayed there until you called the cops, unless I knew you didn't want me there.

After what must have been the longest 3 minutes of my life, I heard that oh-so-perfect sound of you buzzing me up and the door unlocking.

"Thank you, Gee." I said into the intercom before practically running up the 8 flights of stairs to our apartment. I knocked on the door, trying to compose myself before you saw me breathing like I'd just run a marathon.

You opened the door and I just couldn't take the tension anymore I jumped forwards and wrapped my arms around your neck, burying my face in your warm chest.

"Frankie?"

"I missed you so much, Gee." I said, not looking up. "I'm so sorry."

Then you did what might have been the most heartbreaking thing you could have. You pushed me away ad held me at arms length. I was so scared you would kick me out, right then and there, but when I saw the concern in your eyes, I knew differently.

"Are you all right?" you asked. "You're so cold."

I smiled and looked into your eyes for the first time since we broke up. "Apparently, not many cabs run around Ray's apartment at this time of night, so I just walked all the way here."

"Come inside and get warm." You said, dragging me over to the couch, pushing me down gently, and wrapping a blanket around me, rubbing up and down the sides of my arms.

"Gee?" I asked, feeling pathetic. I just really needed to be near you just then. "Will you lie down with me?"

You didn't answer, just got under the blanket and lied down with me, wrapping your arms around my waist.

We sat in comfortable silence for a while, just enjoying being near one another again for the first time in months.

"Frankie?" you said quietly. I turned to face you. "I never gave up on our happy ending."

I smirked up at you and leaned my head on your chest. "Me neither."

I was so happy to be in your arms again, but there was one thing that was still bothering me.

"Gee, what I did was wrong. You deserve so much better than me. You're so talented and you deserve someone who'll be understanding when you have to work long hours, who won't get annoyed even when you lose track of time and work through our anniversary dinner. I just couldn't deal with it, though. I felt like you stopped loving me, as ridiculous as that sounds, and I couldn't deal with loving you as much as I do if you didn't love me."

One of the things I love about you is your ability to listen. You know exactly when to talk and when to just sit and listen. You didn't even try to interrupt; you knew I needed to get this out.

"But more than that, you deserve someone who can bring you back to the real world when your life gets absorbed by stress and deadlines. Every time I stress about writing, you come over and calm me down. You're so wonderful at helping me balance life and work, and you deserve someone who can do the same.

"All that being said, though, I still love you with all my heart, and if you ever decide you can put up with me again, I'll be here, waiting for you. You're my forever, and I want to be with you as long as I live."

You know how I said I love it when you keep quite and let me talk things out?

After I'd finished I started to hate you for it.

You just kept holding me, breathing in and out, not saying a word.

"Gee?" I said, pulling myself away from your warm embrace to look at you; and what I saw, nearly broke my heart.

Tears were running down your cheeks and your golden eyes looked lost.

"Honey, don't cry." I said, wiping the tears from your beautifully pale, amazingly smooth cheeks.

"How can you think I'd want anyone but you?" you said quietly. "How can you think so lowly of yourself? You are my one and only, my perfect match. I could never stop loving you, even if I tried. I can't live without you; I think these four months have proved that, if nothing else."

I leaned into your chest again and nuzzled my face in your neck, just enjoying being close to you.

"I thought I'd lost you forever tonight." you said, kissing me on the top of my head. "When Mikey called and told me you were on your first second date since we broke up, I thought you'd moved on, forgotten about me."

"I could never move on from you." I said.

"I realize that now. But you scared me, baby." I could feel you smiling against the top of my head and I snuggled deeper into your embrace. "Mikes tried to convince me to go to the restaurant to win you back, but I convinced myself that you'd be happier with someone who could be home with you more often. Then I proceeded to eat an entire pint of Half Baked on my own and watch 3 different Jane Austen movies, all while crying my eyes out. By the time you showed up, I'd given up on ever being together again."

"About that." I said, leaning back and looking you in the eyes. The smile you were wearing made my heart skip a beat and my stomach fill with butterflies. Even after 5 years a simple smile from you can turn my legs to jelly. "I was hoping you'd agree to be my boyfriend again. I don't know what I was thinking, breaking up with someone as perfect as you."

"I don't know what I was thinking, letting someone as perfect as you break up with me. Of course, I'll be your boyfriend again."

We leaned in slowly, both of us smiling like idiots. Our lips touched and I felt that familiar jolt of electricity shoot through my veins. The feeling of your lips against mine was better than any other feeling in the world, save the feelings I get whenever we make love. As your soft lips moved against mine and our tongues intertwined, I knew I was home, the place where I always have, and always will belong: your arms.

I still had a couple of surprises up my sleeve, though; I just had to do something that had been a long time coming. I think we both deserved some happiness after those miserable four months.

"You know," I said, breaking away after kissing your amazing lips once more, "I was so nervous about coming over here, I called Ray and Mikey over to help. I wanted to do something special, but they assured me it would be better to just go as I was... In the end, though, what I decided even got their approval, so..."

I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my surprise, smiling at the shock and happiness that were so apparent on your face.

"I totally understand if you say no, especially since we've only been back together for about 5 minutes, but you would make me the happiest man in the world if you would agree to marry me." I said, opening up the lid of the small black velvet box to reveal the onyx and silver ring inside. I'd bought the ring about a year ago, but had always wimped out at the last second.

You remained quiet for a bit, again, scaring the shit out of me, but tears of happiness spilled over and you pulled me towards you by my cheeks and pressed your lips against mine with a smile.

"Of course, Frankie." you said. "Of course I'll marry you. Though I might give you a run for your money as the happiest man in the world."

I smiled and kissed you again, snaking my tongue into your lips to meet yours. I reveled in the taste that was so distinctly yours and could never belong to anyone else, in the softness of your lips, in the love apparent in our movements, in my ability to call you mine again, this time forever.

I slid the ring out of its box and without breaking the kiss, slipped it on your left ring finger.

You pulled away and smiled, staring at the ring like it held the cure for cancer or something.

"It's beautiful, Frankie."

"It's so amazing to hear you call me that again." I sighed. "I wouldn't let anyone call me that when we were apart. It hurt too much."

"Yeah, Mikey told me about that." You smiled, showing all your adorably tiny teeth. "Speaking of, we need to call everyone and tell them the wonderful news! I can't wait to tel my mom ! She'll be so happy; she's always loved you, and she'll want to-"

I cut off what was sure to be one of your famously long rants with a deep, loving kiss that you returned with so much passion, it made me go all weak and spacey. Once I'd snapped out of it, I pulled away, slightly breathless.

"We will, love. But right now, we have a lot of lost time to make up for." I said. I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty damn horny. I hadn't gotten any since we broke up and that was a tortuously long time, seeing as we used to make love at least every other day, sometimes even more than twice in one day.

"I was hoping you'd say that." you smirked, immediately making my pants tighten. "The bed's been awfully lonely since the last time you were in it."

I got up, pulling you along with me and gave you a passionate lust- and love-filled kiss. You picked me up, groping my ass in the process, and wrapped my legs around your waist as you made your way to the bed room.

God, it was good to be back home.