The Choices We Make

Yesterday was my nine week mark. I gained two pounds since last week. Awesome. I walked into the bathroom and started getting ready to go for school when I noticed something strange. I was bleeding. I started to panic and screamed for my mom.

"Mom! Mom!"

She heard me and started to run up the stairs. My legs shaked as I waited. She opened the bathroom door and came over to me.

"What?"

"I'm.. I'm-" I started to cry. "I'm bleeding."

Horror struck her face.

"You want to start the car or call the doctor?"

I glared at her. Did I look like I could do either?

"Right. Okay. I'll start the car and call the doctor at the same time. Come on. Hurry."

Tears dripped from my eyes. "Am I gonna loose the baby?"

"Acelynn, I don't know."

I cried harder as I pulled myself into the car and buckled up. My mom dialed Dr. Avery's number and started to back out of the drive.

"Hello, Cheryl?" Pause. "Yes, this is Aubrey. Can you see Acelynn within the next five minutes? It's an emergency. She's bleeding."

My mom started to speed down the street to the clinic. I clinched my stomach and tried not to sob. My stomach now had a hard protruding bump that is close to being visible through clothing. Since I'm so close to showing I'm doing all of my work ahead of time so I can leave when the seniors do. That might not be needed if I loose this baby. I don't want to loose this baby. Even if I have to loose so much, this baby is already apart of me.

We pulled(swerved) into the clinic parking lot and I seen Dr. Avery and a few other doctors standing in the parking lot with a wheel chair. I knew this was serious and I was scared. I got out and Dr. Avery ran over to me with the wheel chair.

"Sit, Acelynn. I'll take care of you I promise. We'll make sure everything is okay."

They roll me into her office and I lay on the doctor bed and Dr. Avery hooks me up to tons of machines. The other doctors ran around the room and checked things with me every few minutes, writing everything down. My pulse was beating hard against my skin, practically trying to escape. I breathed hard and held my moms sweaty hand. Dr. Avery was frowning while looking at the ultra sound. I heard one of the doctors yell from next to me.

"The fetus's heart rate is dropping. It's loosing oxygen. Hurry Cheryl. We're gonna loose it. Chris, put an oxygen mask on Acelynn."

My mom wiped her mascara stained eyes and fell on her knees beside me. Dr. Avery gripped her shoulder as she wrote more down and grabbed needles.

An oxygen mask was put on my face and I coughed being strangled by how high it was up. I breathed heavy and tried to calm down for the baby.

As they worked on saving my baby, all I could think about is my life without it. Yeah, maybe now my life could be how I planned months ago but that wouldn't even compare to how excited I have actually(secretly) been getting to being a mom. I know before I might have been upset to have to be tied to Nate.. but I care about him so much it would be nice to have a piece of him to hold on to. I still haven't changed my mind on telling him, but I have gotten over the hatred and anger. At this moment, I realized a lot of thing.

1. I was over Jake and didn't really care that I was leaving him because he started dating Kassie yesterday. I also missed him as a friend. We haven't talked in a while.

2. I wanted to be a mom. It felt right, even though I was so young.

3. My mom wanted to be a grandma. It was exciting for her, even if she and I were so young.

4. I was in love with Nate.

5. I wasn't sure how I would live without him.

6. I couldn't live without this baby.

******

I opened my eyes and peered around the room. I was at the hospital now. I didn't remember going there. Last thing I knew I was at the clinic. I felt my stomach and still felt the hard bump. My mother stirred from across the room.

"Oh, god, Acelynn. You're awake."

I looked around at the monitors trying to find the one with the baby's heart beat but I couldn't find it. "What happened?"

"You blacked out while they were trying to give you oxygen. The baby was loosing oxygen and it's heart rate was dropping. They were doing everything the could. The baby almost died, then-"

I sat up quickly in the bed and almost puledl a few wires from my wrist. "Almost??"

"Yes, Almost. He or She is okay now. There was just a few complications. After they stabilized the baby the called an ambulance to take you here so they could look over you for a bit before sending you home. Just to be sure."

I sighed with relief and put my fingers on my belly. "Thank God you're okay. Thank God. I love you."

My mom smiled and wiped make up out from under her eyes.

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"I know that I'm young.. too young for a baby.. too young for Nate... too young to have a baby with Nate..but is it okay to be happy my baby is okay? Is it bad to kind of be excited to have the baby and to be a mom?"

She put her hand on my shoulder. "it's more than okay to be happy. It's a happy thing to have this baby make it. Just because he or she is unplanned do you think you should be happy that it almost died? And no, it's not bad. It's never bad. You can handle this. You can be a momma, I've seen you with your nieces and nephews. You should be excited. I'm excited."

My mom hugged me tightly.

"Thanks, mom."