Take No Prisoners

The silence is enough to drive a person mad.

I can’t take much more of it.

Picking up my worn out, but nevertheless trusty, backpack I found my almost empty water container and took a quick sip of the luke-warm liquid.

It tasted foul, but it was just about keeping me alive. And right now, alive was better than nothing.

Luckily for me, the sun had just started to set. I had got where I wanted for the day. I was an hour or so away from Oregon.

For now I could rest.

Slipping the water carrier back into my backpack I trudged into the abandoned restaurant diner thing. It didn’t matter what it was. All that I needed to know was that I could sleep for a few hours knowing I was out of the direct vision of the Draculoids.

Not that it would help me sleep better.

Sometimes, I get so paranoid I have to actually hide myself in a nearby cupboard... It seems crazy, but maybe that’s what I’m becoming.

Slipping on my mask, I found a sofa in the back room. It was pretty messed up and didn’t look to safe, but it was my bed for the night. I’d have to be grateful for the fact that it wasn’t the floor for once as it usually was.

I always slept in my mask. It had become a kind of ritual for me. If the paranoia wasn’t enough, I had to become OCD as well... excellent.

After what seemed like hours of tossing and turning, but could only have been minutes, I fell into an almost untroubled sleep.

”Don’t you dare talk to me in that tone of voice, madam.” It was her. She was the spouse of Satan himself, or near enough, more commonly known as my step-mom.

“You mean like you do to me every day?” I retorted, ignoring the fact that her face was slowly turning purple.

“INSOLENCE!” She cried and smacked me hard around the face.

Crying out in pain I flew onto the ground. I looked up at her hard face and wondered what I had ever done to deserve this. I must have killed her in a past life or something...

I awoke with a sharp jolt. Panic flitting across my face.

It was just a dream.

I knew that... but it didn’t stop it from feeling real.

That was my past, I couldn’t think of it anymore. I had put all that shit behind me when I left. When I promised myself I would forget all about them people that called themselves my family. I couldn’t have a weakness... or I would lose this battle.

But what am I really fighting against? BL/ind or myself? What I almost became.

I think that’s what I need to find out.



The sun had just begun to creep up into the sky when I woke again.

I like sunshine, naturally as it’s where I got my name from. I had been travelling across a border as a hitchhiker in a lorry. It was a pleasant day, and as usual the sun was shining over the desert...

”What’s wrong with you today?” Jim asked me. His voice was full of genuine concern.

“Nothing, I just remembered where I was going, that’s all.” I mumbled.

“Will you please tell me your name? I can’t keep calling ya’ Lassy all the time.” He said jovially, in an attempt to cheer me up.

“Sorry Jim. Until I find a new alias I can’t tell anyone. That’s the thing you see, it makes it a hell of a lot easier for BLI to find me if they know my real name.” I said, downheartedly.

It was true. I felt really bad for Jim, cos’ he was a nice guy. I just couldn’t trust anyone completely. They might get kidnapped and you never knew who were really your friends.

“Well cheer up sunshine. You could kill the sun with that face.” He joked.

“It’s more likely to commit suicide when it sees what they’re doing to the world.” I muttered.

He laughed at my tone.

We sat in silence for a few minutes.

“I got it!” Jim yelled.

“Got what?” I asked, laughing at his sudden shouting.

“Your name!” He laughed.

“Stop with the laughing, carry on?”

“Sunshine Suicide.” He said, “It suits you.”

Thus where my name came from. I missed Jim’s company. For those few short days he cheered me up a bit. Stopped me going mad. As you do.

Glancing quickly at my watch, I noticed the time. 6:43 am. Time to get moving before they find me.