The Long Road Back

Nick slowly opened the door making sure not to make a sound, he knew Lizzie was a heavy sleeper, but seeing as Nate is just like him, Nate was more than likely a light sleeper. Nate was spread out across the bed one arm spread across Lizzie's stomach, the other arm over his eyes. As for his legs one was propped up while the other was spread over Lizzie's legs. The blankets were halfway off his body and as Nick stared at his sleeping boy Nate began to shiver. Nick pulled the blanket up to his chin and stepped back. This was his family and he was slowly destroying it. This was his wife, the one he promised he would never hurt yet he was destroying her. This was his flesh and blood, his look-alike, his little boy. These were the most important people in his life, yet everyday he blows them off and puts them down he was destroying this family. Nick awoke just as Lizzie and Nate were heading out the door to the bus stop. When she came back in he noticed that she was already dressed.

"Morning Lizzie" He greeted.
"Hey, um actually I was on my way out." She answered warily.
"Where are you going?" He asked softly.
"Not that it's your business or anything but I'm going to Haley's." She answered bitterly.
"Well I am your husband." He informed.
"I know. Okay, I guess I'll see you later. Don't forget 3:30." She remind him, once again.
"Okay, bye." He dismissed.
"Bye honey." She replied sarcastically as she shut the door.

Three thirty came and went and Nate was still standing in the school yard with the baseball coach's wife. He watched ll of his team mates pair up with one of their parents, whom asked if they wanted a meal from various fast food restaurants. Just like his mom would have if she hadn't trusted daddy, like she wanted to. He couldn't help but let the tears fall.
Minutes later Lizzie's phone rang. Her baby was on the other line in hysterics. Her heart was breaking once again. Just like her baby he couldn't help but let the tears fall as she got her bag and bid her friend goodbye.

After apologizing to the coach and his wife, Lizzie and her son were on their way home.
"Mommy, why didn't daddy pick me up?" Nate asked, wiping his nose on his sleeve for the third time. His mother sat in the driver seat letting the tears fall freely.

"I don't know baby, maybe he fell asleep." She excused.
"Mommy why are you crying?" He asked sweetly.
"You dad honey, that's all you need to know." She said vaguely.
"Okay." He dismissed.

She was caught up in her thoughts. What had she done to make him hate this family? Even if he hated her how could he hate the precious boy in the back seat? How do you forget a person, especially one that's your own flesh and blood. They arrived home and she was dreading going in because she knew there was a fight coming.

"Honey, why don't you go on inside. I'll be in there in a minute." Lizzie said laying her head against the steering wheel.
"Okay." Nate said as he got out of the car.
He walked in the house and saw his hero standing in the kitchen.
"Daddy!" He yelled.
"Yes?" Nick asked shocked by his son's presence.
"Why didn't you come pick me up?" He asked looking up at his father.
"I'm sorry. my alarm didn't go off because my phone went dead." He made up an excuse.
"Okay. Why do you make mommy cry?" Nate asked innocently.

Nick was so shocked by his sons question he dropped the glass plate he was holding. The plate shattered at his feet and he scrambled to pick up the pieces. Secretly the grown man was trying to avoid the question but to his dismay the boy asked it again.
"Well honestly Nate, i don't purposely try to make your mother cry. The truth is I'm having trouble with being a good husband." Nick said sweeping up the more tiny pieces of the broken plate.

"Okay, but stop okay, because I said so." He warned.
"And what are you going to do about it if I don't, little man?" Nick said jokingly while throwing the pieces of glass in the trash.
'I'm going to beat you up." The little boy threatened while putting up his tiny fists seriously.
"Oh really?" Nick questioned raising an eyebrow.Then with an evil smirk Nick launched himself at the little boy, pinning him down and tickling his ribs. The little boy laughed hysterically trying to get up, but all the laughing stopped when he saw his mom.
"Hey Nate go upstairs and change, then you can play this in your room." She instructed while handing him the game Haley had sent for him.
"Yes!" He yelled excitedly, as he flew up the stairs. Lizzie smiled lightly.
"What the hell Nick?" She asked calmly trying not to lose her temper in fear of crying in front of him.
"What are you bickering about now?" Nick said pushing himself off the floor.
"Oh, I don't know, maybe the fact that you forgot you son the one time i trusted you!" he yelled exasperated.
"I'm sorry that as soon as I make one mistake you have to get all emotional!" Nick said getting aggravated.
"I-I don't think this is going to work." She swallowed her tears.
"See there you go again being all emotional. I can't help the fact that I forgot to pick up my kid, when for the past couple of months i forgot I even had one!" Nick screamed balling his hands into fists and his face becoming red in anger.
"Well it's nice to know that you forgot about your own flesh and blood. so much for being a good dad." Lizzie replied shocked by his words.
"The boy barely talk to me Liz!" Nick screamed becoming more frustrated by the second.
"Well, i wonder why?" She said sarcastically.
"I've been gone for five months and now the boy completely avoids me when he can." Nick replies softly.
"He avoids you? He was ecstatic when you got home! You're his superhero! But you just shut him down!" She yelled.
"Just because I'm busy doesn't mean I'm shutting him down." Nick replied rolling his eyes.
"Busy? Right, what did I do to make you hate us so damn much?" She yelled hysterically.
Nick was taken back by the question but retained his posture.
"It's always about you and that stupid boy. Me this, me that. Nate this, Nate that. But have you ever asked me how i felt?" Nick screamed with all his might causing the little boy to creep out of his room, sit on the staircase and watch the scene unfold before him.
"A good man can admit when he's wrong, and he puts his family before himself, especially when they're crumbling as his feet." Lizzie paused.
"You're a selfish, selfish man, Nick Jonas." She finished.
"I'm fucking selfish? Honestly all you care about is yourself. You don't care about that boy, you just use him as leverage against me. You're pathetic Elizabeth Knight, you're fucking pathetic." Spat Nick Jonas.

"I want a divorce Nick!" She yelled finally saying the words she never wanted to say.
Her words hit him like a ton of bricks causing his mind to shut down and his instinct to step in. The next move would change both Nick, Lizzie and Nate forever. Nick grabbed the purple vase from behind him and threw it as hard as he could toward his own wife. The vase flew at Lizzie and the whole scene seemed to slow down, especially for the six year old boy who was hysterically in tears and bounding down the stairs towards his broken family. The vase flew by Lizzie, but clipped her cheek on the way, leaving a cut that soon began to ooze out blood. The vase smashed against the wall behind her and shattered into a million pieces just like the family did when Nick Jonas made that life changing decision.

"Stop!' The boy yelled as a hysterically crying Lizzie slid down the refrigerator with her head in her hands. Nick looked down at the boy astonished at his outburst.
"I'm so sorry Nate." Lizzie said looking up with blood smeared across her cheek. Nick didn't know what to say, he just stood there looking back and forth between Lizzie and Nate.
"stop hurting mommy." Nate said glaring at the boy who once was his hero. At this moment though Nate thought of him as an evil villain and Nick could tell this by the way Nate looked at him and to Nick's surprise it broke his heart. Lizzie stood up and walked over to Nathaniel.

"Come on baby let's go get some ice cream." She offered, tears still pouring. Nick Jonas just stood quietly in the kitchen watching the most important people in his life walk out of the house and rive away. He couldn't move, his feet seemed to be glued to spot. He couldn't fully comprehend what had happened, but he knew that it was all his fault. From the very beginning it was his fault and now that it was too late, he was realizing it.

His knees finally gave out and he crashed to the floor. He pounded the tile floor causing his hands to ache in pain. The tears began to pour down his face and he let out a deranged scream. A scream that he had held in for months and then his body untensed and he collapsed to the floor, making a loud thumping sound. He just layed there for what seemed like the longest time, but finally he found the strength to push himself off the floor. He know knew exactly what he had to do and it started with him. He dragged himself upstairs, to the bathroom and locked the door behind him.

He leaned over the sink and looked up into the mirror. His eyes were red and swollen from the tears and his face tear stained. His hair stuck up in all directions an his facial hair made him look like a psychopath. He was a monster, nothing more than a monster. A monster who likes to domestically abuse his wife. A monster who likes to neglect his own son. He was abusing his family and it disgusted him. Just looking at himself disgusted him. Nick grabbed the razor from the shelf and smeared shaving cream on his chin and upper lip. And he began to shave away the mask he hid behind. He began to reminisce on the time when Lizzie told him she was pregnant.

It was like any normal day, Nick got up, made breakfast for his wife, gave her a kiss, and spent the rest of the day in the studio. At six o'clock he would leave the studio, go home and cook his wife dinner. This night was different because when Nick got home Lizzie's car was parked in the driveway. He quickly got out of the car and literally ran to the door.
"Lizzie are you okay?" Nick asked from the front door.
"Of course Nick!" Lizzie called from the kitchen. She was in there cooking dinner for her loving husband, trying to get him ready for the big news.
"What time did you get home?" Nick asked wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her cheek.
"Oh, I didn't go to work. I threw up this morning." Lizzie replied like it was nothing even though she was screaming inside.
"Oh my God! Did I make you sick?" Nick asked worried that his cooking caused her to catch something.
"No honey but we need to talk." Lizzie said leading Nick into the living room and sitting him down.
"What's wrong?" Nick asked worried.
"Nothing, well something but it's not technically a bad thing." Lizzie stammered.
"Spit it out!" Nick practically screamed.
"Okay so this morning I wasn't feeling well, I threw up all morning and I knew something was wrong so I called Haley. Haley said it sounded like morning sickness so, I took a home pregnancy test and Nick I'm pregnant."
Nick froze, he was going to be a dad. he was going to be a dad. Of course he was excited, I mean come on he was going to be a dad, but at the same time he was worried. He didn't know how to be a father. He didn't know how to feed, or change a baby. Was he supposed to be strict but kind, or let the kid have freedom? But the number one question was, would he be a good father?

Now Nick could answer that question. He was a horrible father. He shut his own kid down and he always made excuses so he didn't have to do stuff with him. Nick neglected his six year old son, but this was it. Nick was tired of being a monster. He was tired of hurting his family and causing them to take the fall for his problems. He knew exactly what he had to do to fix things, but he knew it would take a while and that he would need the support of his family. Nick finished shaving and he suddenly knew what to do all he had to do was persuade Lizzie and Nate to give him one more chance. Lizzie and Nate needed to get home and soon.

He heard Lizzie instruct Nathaniel to go brush his teeth and go to bed, so he rushed downstairs to meet her.
"Lizzie-" she interrupted him.
"You lied to me." she started as her eyes watered.
"What are you talking about Liz?"
"When you proposed you said that you loved me, and that you would never hurt me." she said calmly, a few tears fell.
He grabbed he hand and led her to the living room.
"Lizzie listen to me please." he said sitting on the couch and pulling her next to him. He looked at her broken face and leaned forward and wiped her tears.
"Okay, I'll listen." she nodded the kindness he held pulled at her heartstrings, she did love him.

"I'm a monster, I know that now. I've done nothing but shut both you and Nate out of my life. I don't know why I started acting that way, but I want to change it. I want to become the loving family we once were. I want to take you out on romantic dates and I want to watch my little boy kick but at baseball. I know with support from you I will be able to fix things. It might take a while, but baby I'm so sick of fighting and I don't want to hurt you or our son anymore. I want to be the wonderful husband and father I know I can be. Elizabeth Rose Jonas, I want to change."

She dropped her guard when she heard her married name and cried. She hugged her husband tightly.

"I lied. I still love you Nicholas, and even though I can't trust you and I'm not ready to say that this is for sure going to work, as long as this." she pointed to her cheek. "Doesn't happen again I'm not ready to give up on you yet." She said tears still falling as she hugged him tightly.

Nick pushed her back softly and looked directly into her eyes.

"Elizabeth Jonas, I've messed up but I promise that I will prove to you just how great of a father and husband I am. I love you with all my heart, please don't forget that. Oh, and by the way, I was never planning on giving up." and with that Nick Jonas sealed his promise with a kiss.