Goth & Donut

Was I stupid or what? “Just come back to me?” He’s telling me he’s deeply in love with me and that’s all I said to him? The first time he told me on the beach caught me by surprise but this one really got me. The days I spent with Drew at the house were amazing; something I would remember forever. But I’m so stupid to think he was only saying that because he was leaving to Calgary. He’s only going to be gone for nearly a week. I knew he loved me. I knew he was speaking the truth the moment he gave me back that note at the pier.

I wrote that when I was a kid, hoping my prince charming would find me. I kept it like it was my lucky glove until losing it during Grade 10. I thought I threw that away. When he gave me back that note, it was like he was completely giving back my life. Then again he’s been doing that from the time we have met. All the times I tell him not to save me whenever something happens to me, he does in other ways. What started out as I’m helping him with Spanish, he helped me through life; bringing me back to a person I was before. He is my friend, my confidant, my biggest fan and critic, my rock… and I love him. Oh I really do. And I said that?

Nobody, outside my family, ever told me they loved me before. Yet the first moment someone tells me that, I get scared? I’ve spent the past couple of days thinking about why the hell I clammed up.

I tried putting all my energy on working at the rink or spending time with the girls or watching a movie. Nothing worked as I wish I can go back and tell him I love him too, that I am in love with him.

“Janelle, girls, I brought you some take out.” Audrey came into the door with a bag full of Chinese food. She may be 40 but she looks great for her age. Her daughters ran to the dining room as we gather to have dinner. “What’s wrong, Janelle? Still missing that guy you went out with before we went to Mexico?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I reached for my dinner, chicken with mixed vegetables, as I tried to change the subject.

“You’ve been like this for the past two days. Snap out of it.” Audrey rubbed my back as I started to eat my dinner.

“Maybe she’s in love.” Rocky, the middle child, swooned. How an 11 year old figured it out is beyond me.

“Yeah she probably is.” Charlie, the oldest, added. “Does he look like Jack Johnson? Oh my God, he’s so cute. We met him this year at Tip-a-King and he was so nice. If he can wait for me until I’m 18. Just 3 more years to go.”

“Charlie! Eat your food.” Audrey demanded as Charlie picked up her fork and start eating her dinner. “Teens. Soon they’ll going to be on some show about getting knocked up before they graduate high school.”

“I see.”

“So tell me what’s wrong? Tell me about that guy you went out with.”

“You sure you want to hear this, especially with your daughters around?” I asked as I put my fork down.

“We’re family… better yet, we’re girls here.”

“I went out on a date with Jack Johnson.” I started only to see Charlie getting upset.

“What? You went out with Jack? No fair!” She slammed the table as she starts to cry. “Mom, where we were when this all happened?”

“Cabo.” The youngest Gigi replied.

“Ha ha, Charlie!” Rocky began to laugh. “Drew Doughty is cuter anyway.”

“Umm Rocky, I also went out with Drew.” At that moment, Rocky began to cry.

“Girls, I rarely ask you this but you can take you dinners to your room. Your cousin and I are going to have a talk.”

“I like Kobe.” Gigi giggled.

“We’re not talking about the Lakers, Gigi.” On cue Gigi began crying with her two older sisters.

I explained to Audrey by the pool what had happened while she and the girls were away, from Jack asking me out at Jumba Juice to bumping into Drew at the bowling alley during the date, to playing house with Drew. Audrey didn’t know what to react to that.

“So let me get this straight: Jack asked you out?” Audrey asked and I nod. “Then you bumped into Drew? Then you and Drew went out? And you two ‘bow chicky bow bow’ with each other in this house for a week while we’re in Cabo?” Once again I nod to all the questions she asked. “This is juicier than what Perez Hilton is covering on his blog.” She laughed as she stopped pacing around the pool. “How was the sex? Where’s my condoms?”

“I never said anything about having sex with him, Auntie.”

“When two people of the opposite sex plays house, that’s what usually happens. Plus my condoms are missing.” She laughed as she sat on the diving board. “Then why are you upset?”

“Because I’m in love with him and I never told him.” I started to cry.

“Wow, one week of sex with a hockey player can make even the toughest girls fall in love.” She walked over to me giving me a hug. “Being serious, I always thought you would fall in love with that boy you went to high school with. What was his name again? Drake?”

“Audrey, the hockey player and the high school friend are the same.” I showed her a picture of Drew and I during that night we went to karaoke on my cell phone.

“Wow.” Audrey’s tone grew serious. “Same guy. Why didn’t you tell him?”

“Because I’m scared of losing him.”

“You’re not going to. If there’s something I learned about relationships is that no relationship can survive without friendship. I wish I knew that when I met your uncle. I mean, how can you be lovers if you can’t be friends?”

“You’re sounding like a cheesy Michael Bolton song.”

“Actually it’s from a cheesy Michael Bolton song. But think back on your friendship with him. Is there anytime he ever threw you under the bus for anything? Has there any time he showed that he cares?” I smiled of the thought of all the things he had done for me without asking. “Your smile says it all. Just take a chance and let yourself be happy. Everything will fall into place. Better love once than never love at all.”

“He’s still in Calgary. Funny thing is that as long as I knew him, I never seen him play hockey in person. I’ve always watched his games on TV or the internet but never live.”

“What if I lend you some money and you give it back when you’re back?” Audrey takes out of wallet and gives me her credit card. “You know Calgary is a fun city with the Stampede happening over there. Your dad always wanted to go for shits and giggles.”

“Auntie, you don’t have to. I mean I can wait until he’s back.”

“Don’t wait. Just go and get your man.” She smiled as she closed my hand.