Close Your Eyes

A light haze of smoke floated around my room with the pungent scent of alcohol. With a flick, my Zippo lighter produced a scrawny flame to light another cigarette. Placing the white cancer stick between my fingers, I took a swig of my Bud Light. Within seconds, the cigar was dangling lifelessly from my mouth as I spun around on my grey computer chair. Stopping the chair and using the same two fingers, I lifted the cigarette out of my mouth and blew a long stream of smoke toward my computer screen. For a while, the haze in front of me didn’t clear and caused it to be difficult to stare at the screen but it faded enough for my eyes to not be too badly bothered with it. Even the suns rays pouring from my window couldn’t fully clear the cigarette’s smoke. With another sip of my beer, I went back to staring at the laptop.

This was my life. I was only eighteen and could already tell my life was going to go no where.

It’s not like I meant for this to happen but things occur and that changes who someone is. If I could go back and change it, would I? Probably not. Though I was stuck in the garage attic, there was nothing I had to pay for (besides gas and food and shit) and my parents didn’t bother with me too much. However, they did expect me to come over once in awhile to have dinner with them; claiming my little brother missed sharing a room with me. Huh, yeah right. If I had the choice – and if I wasn’t living only a few feet from them – I probably wouldn’t bother heading over there in the first place.

A groan escaped my chapped lips. Damn computer froze. Waiting for it to catch up with itself, I spun around in the chair again when the phone shrilled its awful tune. Another groan and I was picking up the phone when the familiar number flashed on the caller identification. “What?”

“Don’t speak in that tone with me, mister!” My mother warned and I could imagine her pursed lips and glare. A snort nearly escaped my mouth, but I stopped myself as she added, “Dinner will be ready in a couple minutes! I made your favorite: pork chops!”

Since when were pork chops my favorite meal…? “Alright, see yeah,” before she could say anything else, I hung up the phone and disconnected the base.

For awhile, I had contemplated whether or not I actually felt like heading over. Mom would be questioning the smell of smoke that lingered on most of my clothes, Dad would harass me about colleges and when I was moving out, and the little guy would send me looks that said, “You’re a horrible brother.” Because I guess I needed his scrunched up, baby face telling me how I failed him, like I did my parents. Sighing, I jumped out of my seat and headed over to my closet to find a pair of clothes that would look halfway decent and wouldn’t smell too badly of smoke and alcohol. At least, to the point where my mother wouldn’t notice and that would knock one person out of the party. After awhile, I picked out a pair of rugged jeans, and a shirt and hoodie to wear. Looking at myself in the mirror, the male that looked back at me glared and judged every little thing.

So even he was beginning to judge.

My feet stomped down the creaky stairs as my gaze stared straight ahead at the automatic garage door. With a press of a button, the wooden garage door opened to reveal the spring air and green nature outside. There were birds chirping, branches blowing in the breeze, a girl lying in our yard, flowers dancing in the wind…

I paused and faced the figure on our lawn.

That was different.

The girl appeared to be in a deep slumber when I noticed her sprawled out on the green grass. Her blonde hair was going in all different directs and the wind continuously tangled it. Upon closer inspection, she was breathing at a regular pace as if she was fully awake but her eyes remained shut. Not knowing how to react to the strange sight, I nudge her with my foot and the girl’s breathing never faltered for a second. A toothy grin spread across her face and in the most angelic tone, “Yes?”

I flinched; so she was awake. Damn weird girl randomly lying on our lawn. However, even when I didn’t answer her, she never did open her eyes to see me; to see what monster was tainting the relaxing scene she was in. The wind whistled in my ear and I was about to leave when I spun on my heels and fell backwards; nearly crushing the mysterious girl, however she’d rolled out of the way. Confused, I stared to at my feet and grimaced.

Damn weird girl tied my shoelaces together. Without me noticing. Without her eyes open.

What the hell is with this chick? “Why the hell did you do that?” I yelled, struggling to get up while staring at the smile that was tugging at her lips.

“‘Cause you sounded angry, and you need to laugh at yourself once in awhile,” she explained like it made all the sense in the world. She added, “And I was getting a little lonely. It’s nice to talk to someone, even though you seem like a bit of a Sour Puss yourself.” My struggling paused as I stared at the blonde girl. She must be delusional; there’s no way she couldn’t tell what I am. She must be able to smell the smoke, or the alcohol. Her conscious must be yelling at her to stop talking to strangers, especially if she won’t even open her eyes. However, we are talking about the same little voice that must have told her it was alright to lay in a random lawn.

Before I could retort anything, the girl grinned and said, “My name’s Eve, it’s a pleasure to meet you stranger!” That was the last straw in my patience.

“Seriously,” I yelled, finally lifting myself up off the ground. “What the hell is wrong with you? You don’t even fricken know who the hell I am and yet you’re talking to me like I’m another friend of yours! You don’t know who I am and you don’t even know what the hell I look like so how can you just fricken lay there like everything’s all fine and dandy! I could be a murderer for all you know! Or maybe a perverted old shit who wants to get in your pants! But you don’t care do you, you little freak?!” It was only until all my frustration that had been building since being in my room had simmered down did I realize how harsh I sounded. Callous. Heartless. Odious.

Eve was silent for a moment and I didn’t know what I should do so I began to walk away. However, this was a bad idea for I hadn’t undone my Vans while getting up; leading to me falling flat of my face and groaning in pain. Behind me, I heard giggling and my head turned to look at the blonde haired girl who now laid on her side, her back to me.

“You see,” she whispered, almost to herself. “That’s karma.” For a split second, a soft smile nearly appeared on my lips. However, I realized that falling flat on my face wouldn’t undo every mistake I’d ever made, or would eventually make. There would be no amount of suffering that could undo it all.

A guy like me didn’t deserve to smile.