Close Your Eyes

Throughout the dinner with my family, my eyes would constantly dart to the window. After awhile, my father appeared to have caught on to my eye-flickering and asked if I was taking drugs. Of course, I said to myself, he’d jump to that conclusion instead of trying to see if I was trying to see someone. As if to prove his point, my mother wailed to her husband that she could smell smoke and it burned her nose. The little guy, Devon, snickered to himself while eating mounds of mashed potatoes and watching our mother plug her nose distastefully and glaring at me. Shrugging, I focused my attention back to my meal of potatoes, pork chops, and some green shit that was mashed up beside the potatoes. Delicious. When I was sure that my parents were not watching me, my eyes glanced out the window again to see the pale blonde girl still lying in our yard.

Eve was an odd girl to say the least and her company was much different than what I’d been used to. After I’d yelled at her for being too naïve, she curled up in a ball with her back facing me. For awhile, I began to believe she’d gone to sleep so I sat up and began to fix my shoes so I wouldn’t end up crashing to the ground for a third time. Once the thick black laces were tied the way they were supposed to, I stood and straightened up my hoodie. Just as I had been about to stroll away, I heard Eve’s little voice.

“If you don’t take long,” she had said from her spot. “I’ll still be here. If you want to talk, that is.” As I stood above her content figure, disbelief washed over me. She had no reason to stay and talk to me.

However, as I sat in the dining room for dinner, she had so far continued to lay out there – with her eyes closed, I’m sure. She was such an idiotic, strange girl who didn’t even seem to know the difference between good and bad. But, this statement made me a hypocrite for I’m not even aware of what’s good or bad; in my mind, everything is arranged into two different groups. What I want and what I don’t want; both created for me in mind and no one else. And that’s why I must remain alone; atoning for my sins. Being punished.

“Blake!” my mother yelled, and I snap out of my thoughts for a moment and scowled at the woman.

“What?” I groaned and that’s when I noticed everyone was beginning to clean the table off. My eyes peered down at my own plate still full of food and the green crap next to the potatoes. My mind still wandered on contemplating what it must be. The closest food item to its consistency and color was peas, and even that was making a stretch.

“Help us pick up the kitchen and then I want you to help with the dishes, then…” She whipped out order after order until her list of to-dos was longer than Devon was tall. You must be joking… However, the look on her face said it all: You better listen to me young man or bad things will happened. My father stared back and forth between his wife and me, his oldest son, before deciding to agree with my mother. He always did.

As time ticked by, I felt my nerves grow more and more tense. It was because of me that Eve was laying outside, probably freezing to death; this was going to be another thing to add to my pile of guilt. However, no matter how hastily I did the work, my mother would always return with something else. Go clean the living room, do the laundry, vacuum the house, wash the windows, sharpen the knives, it was always something. The worst part was that I shouldn’t be the one doing this when I didn’t even live under this roof. I should be in my room, smoking a cigar with a beer on my desk, half drank. Finally, when I’d dusted the televisions for the seventh time, my mother walked up to me and was about to speak.

“No.” I growled, chucking the duster from my hand. It hit a glass vase and swiveled in a circle before plunging to the ground and smashing into a million pieces. Pieces I would have to pay for with my own cash. “I’m leaving. Goodbye.”

Never did I give her a chance to say anything, for I was already out the door and down the porch steps when she’d begun to answer. Even if she ran out after me, my mind was already preoccupied by something else.

Eve got smart, for she was no longer lying under the tree. With an expected smirk, I strolled toward the garage; ready to drown myself in the suffocating haze and pungent smell of beer.

~**~**~**~**~

The sun was too bright today, and the sky too blue. There was a fluffy pillow in front of my head but it couldn’t shield all the devilish rays pointed at my light a spotlight. Under the white pillow, my pounding head felt as though it were going to explode from pressure caused by a major headache. Maybe I shouldn’t have continued drinking until late after I’d returned from the house, or smoked the rest of the Marlboro cigarettes. Too late now.

After the initial feeling of shit, I forced myself out of my lumpy bed and toward my closet. Retrieving a black V-neck and baggy dark jeans, I sauntered lifelessly from the garage to the house. This was the only other reason I would go back to the house; to shower and anything including a bathroom. An eighteen year old just didn’t have the money to renovate a garage to include such necessities such as this. For the most part, it didn’t matter because my parents were usually off to work and my brother at school so we never really bumped into each other. Afterward, I usually was out because I had to work though it wasn’t anything special. The only place that was hiring at the time was a job as a cashier at the gas station down the street. Nothing special, or even remotely interesting unless a little thirteen year old boy came in looking for condoms. Makes me wonder if I’m not the only one doing bad things.

Stripping my boxers off and a shirt I threw on so I wasn’t half naked in public, I leaped into the shower while one hand massaged my head and the other gripped my stomach. At this rate, I’d start puking my guts out all over the bathroom. Facing the tepid water spraying from the nozzle, I tried distracting myself from the aches but it wasn’t long until grotesque, chunky bile poured from my mouth into the shower. Dropping the F-bomb, I found myself quelling the feeling to puke all over again; my attempts in vain. By the time I decided to finish my shower, the smell of bile mixed with alcohol reeked in the tiny room. I wrapped a towel around my waist and instantly rummaged through the medicine cabinet for Advil. Probably should look for Pepto Bismol too; not like it’s hard to find with that god-awful pink color.

However, when neither of these were found I realized I would have to head to the drug store and buy myself some. It was less than ideal, but with nausea twisting my stomach and my head pounding I knew I’d have to head out. Putting on my clothes, I ruffled my hair a bit and decided I looked fine. Seeing as there was a pharmacy only a few blocks away, I decided I would walk. Hopefully, not puke while doing so. Just in case, I grabbed a cherry lollipop on my way out. Maybe it would hold me over.

As expected, the drug store was almost empty besides a few adults and some little toddlers. My eyes darted around for awhile, looking for the aisle that holds the medicine. Finally, when I reached the back, I spotted a case of Advil from the corner of my eyes and snatched it up. “Now for the Pepto Bismol…” I groaned, sucking on the cherry flavored pop. Behind me, someone stopped walking but I didn’t pay any mind to them until they spoke.

“Stranger?” A young voice chirped behind me and I froze in my tracks, nearly choking on my lollipop. Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. I was afraid to turn around, knowing who’s eyes I would see when I did. Or, in actuality, whose eyes I wouldn’t. However, I forced myself to turn around and there she stood in a pale cream dress with her blond hair twirling down from her scalp. Her eyes were closed, and her pale face calm. I gulped, This isn’t supposed to happen. She can’t be near me. Not with the scene she carries around; I’m tainting her image.

“Hello…?” Her voice was quieter this time, and she took a step toward me with her hand outstretched. My mind screamed to move back, but before I registered it, her hand touched my chest and a grin spread on her lips.

“I knew you were there, stranger.”

I stood, trying to look menacing. Not that she would notice. “I know.”

Her grin grew as she removed her hand and left it dangling at her side. She cocked her head to the right as if she were thinking of something, before asking, “Stranger?” My body stiffened at her full of curiosity voice. This was it; she’d finally realize her mistake in meeting me, and in talking to me. A gulped was forced down my throat, as I wondered how such a sweet girl would react to the truth just in front of her closed eyes.

“Yes?”

Eve’s toothy smile from the first day I’d met her returned, confusing me. “What’s your name? I find it odd to call you a stranger.” My brow wrinkled as I stared at her in utter confusion, but I answered her.

“Blake.”

“Blake…” She mumbled to herself, her grin never faltering. “You have a pretty name!”

That was the first compliment I’d gotten in awhile. It felt strange coming from an innocent soul such as Eve. It was much too weird to be true.

A guy like me doesn’t want compliments. Doesn’t need them. Shouldn’t get them.