Zombie 2.0 1/2

After Dean went to sleep Deci decided she would crawl over to where Rev was and see if he was really asleep.

He wasn’t.

“So, you ever gonna tell ‘em what happened?” She asked.

He rolled over and stared at her through the dark. “Maybe.”

“You know, I’m pretty sure even Banana would understand. She pretends not to have feelings but I think she’d understand this.”

“I just don’t want to talk about it Dec. I’m just not ready to. I mean it came out on accident to you but-“

He was cut off by mumbling.

“No… not my car…car..no.. hate…I hate..flying. no.”

Rev and Deci looked at eachother.

“I…don’t make me go …chopper..”

“Is he sleep talking?” Rev asked.

“I think so.”

“Banana..”

Deci covered her mouth and Rev busted up. She covered his mouth with her free hand.

“Banana…where…are.. you”

“Here.” Banana mumbled.

Deci and Rev’s eyes got big.

“Banana.”

“Dean.”

“Banana.”

“Dean.”

“Are they listening?” he mumbled.

“Yes.”

“Sack!” They both yelled.

“God damnit.” Rev rolled over and put his pillow over his head and Deci turned the opposite way.

“You guys are just bitter that you didn’t get us.” Dean said.

“No we’re bitter because of all the people that survived in the world we had to find you.” Deci said.

“Banana isn’t bitter. She loves me.” Dean said.

“Oye.”

“Don’t try to deny this beautiful thing we have going on.” Came Dean’s voice.

“I do not have feelings for you, fuzzy man peach!” Banana yelled.

“Well, you can keep denying it to them, but we both know the truth. We make out. When no one’s around.”

“And, I don’t believe you.” Deci said.

“Why?”

“Because for one, you said ‘we make out’, and for two you said ‘we make out.’ That doesn’t even make sense. Banana wouldn’t even kiss… well, it doesn’t matter, but you know it’s not believable.”

“I think you’re just jealous you and Rev don’t get much make out time.” Banana said.

“Oh snap.” Dean said.

“Oh, we get make out time.” Rev said.

“Okay, let’s just not talk about making out anymore. If the other’s come down here they’re gonna think something is terribly wrong with us.”

“I’m sorry but, thinking something is wrong with us is wrong in itself. KNOWING something is wrong with us is more like it.” Dean said and yawned.

“Go to sleep you cry baby.” Banana said.

Four Hours Later-

Norman and Ivan were sent to wake up the four. They found them all bunkered together around the couch where Banana was sleeping awkwardly. Her leg was up over the back of the couch and her head was slightly hanging off the cushion.

“How should we wake them up?” Ivan whispered.

“Good ol’ fashion way I’d say.” Norman said.

“GET THE FUCK UP, GET UP! FUCKING ZOMBIES ARE BREACHED!”

Everyone except Banana shot up.

“What?!” Dean was saying his voice full of sleep. He was looking around dazed.

“The hell!” Rev was still laying down but his eyes were wide and he was staring at the ceiling.

Deci was already standing up facing them with a gun in her hand.

“Wow… You guys sure do know how to get to it.” Norman said in his southern drawl.

“Except Banana. She’s still knocked the fuck out.” Ivan said pointing to the couch.

“Watch this.” Dean said. He walked over to where she was sleeping and bent down next to her head. He glanced up at Norman and Ivan who were looking curiously at him and grinned. “UHHHHH”

Banana shot up off the couch and grabbed Dean in a choke hold. She wrestled him to the ground and proceeded to punch him in the head.

“WHOA! WHOA! IT’S ME!” He was yelling but Banana wasn’t stopping.

“BANANA!” Deci ran over and pulled her off Dean who looked pretty amused despite the cut that was now bleeding on his forehead.

“WHAT THE HELLLLLLLL!” Banana asked when she got her wits about her.

“I’ve never seen her do that before.” Deci said looking over at Rev whos expression was as if he had just seen a zombie do the thriller dance. Pure disbelief.

“That is because he was extremely close to my face!” Banana said looking around noticing that everyone but Pilot had witnessed her beating on Dean.

“Well, now that we know who we should send out if the zed’s DO come in, we should probably get you guys out.” Ivan said.

“Are you guys ready to go?” Norman asked.

“Yeah, I think we’re good. I might have a concussion but I’ll survive.” Dean said.

Banana grinned evilly. “Get that close to my face again bitch.”

Dean made a kissy face at her.

The six of them made their way out to where Pilot was standing, in front of Deans car, and stood around saying goodbye.

“I wish you guys didn’t have to go. I mean shit, you could all stay with us. We could fight the zeds off, we’re safe here.” Norman said.

“I know dude, but we have to get truckin’. We have to at least make sure where we’re going is worthy. We can always come back and visit.” Rev said.

“Well, if you’re sure you all have to go. We got you guys presents.” Ivan said.

They looked at eachother.

“For Rev.” Norman said popping the trunk of Dean’s car. He pulled out a large brown box that appeared to be heavy.

Rev walked over and opened it and looked back up at Norman. He looked like he would cry.

“Beer.” He said.

“I knew you’d need it man.” He said.

Rev hugged Norman. Deci and Banana laughed and Dean’s eyes narrowed.

“For Dean…” Ivan said.

“What?” he asked.

“Come here.” He pointed to the car.

“You did not mess with my car.” Dean said.

“No why would we do that?” Norman asked.

“Because you are sneaky little fuckers.” Rev said taking out a beer and drinking it. “It’s still cold…” He looked tearfully at Norman again.

When they walked over to the other side of the car they opened up the door and produced what looked like a giant futuristic gun.

“What’s this?” He asked.

“You know the flame thrower that’s on the bird?” Ivan asked.

“Yeah.”

“Well it’s that, but a bit smaller. Look it mounts on the car, without hurting it a bit.” Norman showed him and Dean smiled.

“Very nice.”

“And for the ladies.” Pilot said.

Deci shook her head. “Nah, I don’t want anything.”

“You have to take it. I’d be insulted if you didn’t.” Pilot said.

“The keys to the chopper.” Norman said handing her them. “Well the spare set. Incase anything ever happens to any of us, you need to be able to drive it.”

“I don’t know how to drive it…” She said.

“It’s not hard, I have faith that out of these guys you could drive it.”

“Well that’s putting a lot of faith in something that has no clue how to drive other than video games.” Deci said. “But thanks. I’m sure nothing will happen to you guys. We’ll be set.”

“You never know.” Pilot said.

And then everyone turned to Banana.

“I actually thought about just trading in for boxing gloves.” Norman said. “You missed a good fight Pilot.”

Pilot raised his eye brow but said nothing.

Ivan walked over and handed her a teddy bear that had wired protruding from it.

“What’s this? If those wires mean there is a pack in there that contains you guys singing…”

“No no, nothing like that. But good idea..” Ivan said looking thoughtful.

“Actually, we heard about your story of self sacrifice. You were brave, but from what we understand, you didn’t really wanna do it. Still, it’s an act of courage to even offer yourself up for it.” Pilot said. “So we made you this. It’s all part of some toys we had been working on, the boys told me about video games that used this sort of thing. I figured it just might work.”

“What is it?” Dean asked examining it. He reached for it but Banana slapped his hand away.

“It’s a bomb. You pull this little thing here,” he pointed to a tab, “And it’ll immediately set off a smell and sound that will attract them. It’s great for big herds.”

Banana examined it and smiled. “Maybe I’ll just stick this in Dean’s shirt and send him out in the middle of a group of them.”

“Thanks I feel so special.” Dean said, sounding honestly a little disappointed.

“Oh relax, I’m using this for when I do decide it’s a good time to play hero.”

He rolled his eyes.

“Thanks a lot guys.” Deci said to the three watching them.

“Well we wished you’d stay guys. But we understand why you can’t. We just hope that we’ll see you again. Come back any time now that you know where we are. We’ll escort you by chopper until the town line. Just to make sure. After that we gotta get back and make sure our base is still in tact.” Pilot said.

“Well… So… I guess this is goodbye…” Banana said as she got into the passengers side of the car.

“Yeah. It was nice meeting you guys.” Dean added before taking is place in the driver’s side.

“I… will… miss you Norman. You have no idea how horrible it is being stuck with Banana and Dean!” Rev exclaimed as Banana and Dean both stuck middle fingers out the window.

“I hope we all meet again. Which we probably will be. Zombies are soon gonna need to start searching elsewhere for white meat. So just stay alive will ya?”

Deci and Rev both got into the back. As Dean started to drive, Banana stuck her hand out the window to wave. Deci and Rev turned around waved through the back window. Dean on the other hand did the most stupid thing. He honked the horn at them.

“Idiot!” Banana said punching him in the arm. “You want them to die?!”

“Wha? No! Of course not!” Dean yelled.

“You probably just alerted a horde to them!”

“No… No way.”

Banana shook her head.

“Anyways, so how are we gonna get to the mountain now guys?” Rev asked.

“Banana consult the trustee map.” Dean commanded.

Banana gave Dean the death glare of the century but did as he said.

“Um.. Yeah I don’t know.” Banana said, throwing the map at Rev. “I think I’m gonna go back to sleep now.” She scooted down in her seat and closed her eyes.

“Well. Okay. Lets see here.” Rev said.

Three hours later.

“Pst. Banana are you awake?” Dean asked. Deci and Rev were sleeping.

“Grwwar” The noise that was emitted wasn’t really comprehensible. “Yes. What is it that you want?”

“Well… Deci and I were swapping zombie stories last night and I was wondering… well… what is your story?”

It was silent for a while. “Why do you care to know?”

“I am just curious.”

Once again it was quiet.

“Banana?”

Banana turned her body so that she could stare out the window. “Before this whole attack of the dead happened I was a homebody. The only time I ever left my house was to go grocery shopping or y’know, for necessities. I actually barely left my room. All I did was play xbox. I also never like people very much. They were loud, obnoxious creatures. The only thing that has really changed is the fact they gots the muchies for human flesh.”

She cleared her throat. “When it happened I was actually in the middle of playing Call of Duty: Black Ops. I heard it before I saw it. Now I should probably throw out the fact that I was a really, REALLY paranoid person. When I looked to my door I saw my mother all blood. I asked if she was alright but she let out a low moan. I knew then what I had to do. I quickly opened my desk drawer and pulled out a pair of scissors. And… Well… I guess you can imagine what happened next.”

“A pair of scissors?” Dean asked.

“You can imagine I’m not the type who uh, had a gun. I don’t normally just tote around a shotgun or pistol or something.” Banana said.

“I’m really sorry you had to go in to that like you did. Deci said she found you locked up in your room.” He said.

“She did. She knew that I would be locked up in there we always talked about it before it happened. Of course even as paranoid as I was and as fucking insane she is, we weren’t expecting it. She came by late the next day. She was driving someone’s car I didn’t recognize. It was nice. And… well, I thought she was a zombie. I made her answer a bunch of questions to prove she was her. I didn’t know if zombies could talk or not. But… we took off.. and the rest is history. Well actually it’s not because you know… you met us after that really.”

“Yeah. I even knew Rev myself but I don’t know exactly what happened with him.”

“What about you then?”

“Eh?”

“What about you?” she asked again.

“I was at work. I used to weld. I was in the booth when my boss came in. He was staggering all covered in blood, had this crazy look in his eyes. Then suddenly, he tried to bite me. I thought it was a joke, we used to talk about zombies sometimes. Just messin’ around.. but, when he actually bit my arm-“

“He bit you?” Banana suddenly got nervous.

“Don’t worry he didn’t break my skin. He didn’t get me at all, welders usually wear some heavy shit so we don’t get burnt. I was wearing a thick leather jacket. He didn’t bite through it, the guy had shitty teeth when he was alive. I checked. Made sure. I promise I’m alright.”

“You’re sure?” she asked suspiciously.

“I assure you, I am fine. There is nothing wrong with me. Would you like to check?” he winked at her and Banana sighed.

“I don’t want to check you out.”

“That’s because you do it when no one’s lookin’ enough.” He smiled.

“I think I’m going to take a nap.” Banana said.

“Eh.” Dean muttered.

They traveled on for a while until Rev finally woke up and claimed he had to pee.

“I really gotta go, no I can’t wait, so save your normal questioning I need to go now.” He said sitting up.

Deci woke up when he moved because apparently in her sleep she had leaned on him.

“What is going on?” she asked.

“Rev has the bladder of my grandmother.” Dean said. “He needs to pee.”

“Hey, if you had to pee you’d stop you son of a bitch.” Rev’s tone was unusually cranky.

“Okay, okay.” Dean pulled over and then he left him out.

“Anyone else gotta pee?” Rev asked before he went off in to the ditch.

“I probably should.” Deci said getting out.

Banana had already fallen asleep and no one wanted to make her angry so they let her sleep.

Rev went off in to a ditch and Deci went the opposite way.

A few seconds later Rev’s worried voice came through the dark.

“Dec?” he asked.

“What’s wrong? Did you pee on yourself?” she asked.

“No! I haven’t done that in a long time! But seriously come here.”

Deci made her way to where Rev’s voice was coming from and found him

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Do you … smell that?” he asked.

“Please tell me you didn’t ask me to come over here to sniff a fart Rev.”

“NO! What is with you people?” he muttered. “No smell it. Seriously just like…inhale.”

Deci did and then wrinkled her nose. “I do, what the hell is that?”

“I don’t know. Let’s go check.”

“Rev?! No!” she grabbed his arm.

“Come on!” he in turn grabbed her arm and pulled her in to the woods with him.