Zombie 2.0 1/2

Two days later after things had simmered down. And after only one attack from a stray zombie that somehow had been under the truck and got in to the gates, Deci decided to take a walk with Rev.

“So Reverend, what has been going on with you?” Deci asked.

“You know, same ol same ol. Why, does it look like something is going on with me?” He asked.

“Not really no, I was just making conversation that didn’t start with ‘ever wonder’…”

Rev smiled and then sighed. “I wonder if this is gonna end. I mean the easy parts. You realize we haven’t really gotten much zombie action and it scares me to think it could be harder than this.”

“We are pretty lucky. You see those movies like Resident Evil and Zombieland and you think ‘Jesus, that looks like a lot of running, blood and munching.’ We probably will encounter something serious, but for now I think maybe we should just enjoy the fact that the zombies are slow and stupid and can’t get in here.” Deci said.

They continued walking until they went up a few flights of stairs and ended up on the roof.

They sat in some lawn chairs that were left and started talking.

“The stars are nice. No matter how much crap is going on here those things stay the same.” Rev said.

“Yeah. But who knows how long the universe will last you know? We all thought this was only possible in movies.”

“That’s what we get for believing make believe is really make believe.”

“So does this mean that the Yeti is real?” Deci asked after a minute.

“Um, how can you even ask me that?”

“Because… you know I figured…zombies and all.”

“OF COURSE HE’S REAL! In fact, he loves pie. We know this.”

Deci grinned. “Yeah, except in our village we call him Dean.”

“Ahhh that’s a good one.” Rev grinned. “Remind me to tell Banana that one, she’ll love it.”

“Speaking of Banana, can I ask you something?”

“Uh oh, are you a resbian?” Rev turned to her. “Is that why you don’t want to marry me?”

“Ugh, no, there are many reasons for that, but no. I was just curious why you act like you don’t like her some times.”

Rev sighed. “I don’t not like her. That’s kinda stupid.”

“Oh come on, recently you have been really digging at her. I know you guys give each other a hard time, but you’ve really been looking serious with your comments lately.”

Rev cleared his throat and started to say something then closed his mouth.

“You know, you can tell me. Are you jealous of her and Dean?”

Rev burst out laughing, and didn’t stop.

“Okay! Okay! I get it, funny har har.”

“No…hahaha…you…haaaaaa…don-hahahahahaha…” He grabbed his stomach and started laughing so hard he farted.

Deci’s face went blank. “Did.. Okay apparently I was so wrong it forced gas out of your intestines.”

Rev giggled a little and then sighed. “Alright, alright. I’ll tell you. But you swear you won’t tell anyone?”

“Uh, hello? Did we just meet?”

“Okay, fine. No. I really don’t hate her. I enjoy her being mean to me, it’s fun. She honestly reminds me of my sister. And I miss her. So I just throw things at Banana like she were Julie. And then you know, she gets mad like Julie did, I feel better about myself because I’m making her apocalypse experience a miserable one… we all have a good time. Honestly, I just wish that she was Julie… I mean don’t get me wrong, never would I trade Banana for anyone else… but it’s just like having her here. And of course I think on some level she knows I don’t mean it… but lately I think I’ve just been getting mad because she’s ….not Julie.”

“Hrm, makes sense I guess. Why can’t we tell anyone that? That’s not secret materiel.”

“Yes it is. Like I want anyone to know that I actually don’t mind her. I enjoy making her turn red. It’s a really funny color for a yellow fruit.”

Deci just shook her head. “Alright. Okay.”

“So wait, were you concerned that I was jealous of her and Dean?”

“I didn’t say ‘jealous’…”

“You did, want me to scroll up and show you?” He asked.

She rolled her eyes. “Alright fine. But I am not concerned that you were jealous.”

“I think you were. Why?”

Deci folded her arms. “I wasn’t concerned I was just curious that is all. I thought maybe you liked her or something.”

“Oh haha. No no, and even if I did hahahah let’s not forget about the Yeti.”

“Right. Do you think they’ll ever get together?” She asked leaning back in her lawn chair.

“I’m sure they will eventually. You can’t really deny the sparks that fly around them when they’re together.”

Deci laughed. “Yeah, I think those are sparks from the lava Banana shoots out her eyes at him. And as for him, yeah its probably his head exploding.”

Rev grinned. “Well you have to stop and think they’re only fighting it… well okay Banana is only fighting it, because it’s true and she honestly believed in what she said… the whole not having feelings cuz it’s a waste of time thing? She believes that and doesn’t want to be proven wrong. I think she’s just a big yellow..scardy…banana.”

“You could be right. But does that mean she’d ever give in then? She is a firm believer of what she believes and that is all.”

“I think that… it’s going to take one time. Just one time that really strains everything that’s gonna make her change her mind. It’s there you can tell, but it’s gunna take short of Dean dying for her to admit it.”

“Yeah… I don’t know. I think if Dean actually does something it would change things. And when I say that I mean besides forcing her talk about her feelings is all.”

“I don’t know man. It’s Banana we are talking about here. A normal person sure. But Banana? I think if Dean did ‘something’ we would end up finding him in the bottom of lake Michigan.”

“That’s a long ways to carry a dead body. I am not sure Banana could do that.” Deci said skeptically.

“Your right. Then the bottom of the dumpster.” Rev grinned.

“That is more believable. But you ever watch that show Friends?”

“I have….not.”

“Well in it two of the friends hook up…then they worry about what it means..blah blah, anyways long story short, they end up getting married… I’m not saying Banana will become Mrs. Banana Dean, but still. Maybe that’s all they need is to just get it over with and out in the open and that way we can all be happy.”

“And then you and I can get married.”

“UGH!”

“Okay, you’re so persistent with them and their relationship but you can’t admit you love me to death and think I’m the sexiest man on earth and would love to be my wife?”

Deci looked at him with a stern look. “No.”

“W…what?” Rev’s face looked like a child’s who had just had their trip to Disneyland canceled.

“You look truly upset by this… but I’m sorry. Why would I just marry you because you won a bet?”

“Because it’s not even the bet anymore, are you really that stupid? Oh come on Banana told me you were dumb, but I at least said you had SOME brain in there. Maybe that’s why the zombies leave our group alone we’re all a bunch of airheads.” Rev mumbled.

“So wait, you want to marry me, but not because of the bet?”

“Hey, the bet was just a good way to get me in the good eye. I’m pretty sure I’d marry you without it. But you know, it’s really fine.”

“I do know it’s fine, still a little surprised. You do know there are other women out there right? Me and Banana….and sometimes Dean, aren’t the only women left in the world.”

“So? I don’t know any of them.”

“So you mean to tell me if this hadn’t happened you’d of married me?” She asked skeptically.

“Well… I mean, no I couldn’t of.”

“SEE!!”

“Did you forget about my wife?”

“Oh… sorry.”

“That’s the only reason I wouldn’t have, short of not even knowing who you were. But honestly, I’m not just saying it cuz you’re the only girl alive that I know. You have a good personality and-.”
But before Rev could continue on with his mush Ivan and Norman had found them.

“Hey, we’re all gonna get together and have a farewell party for Pilot, you guys interested?” Norman asked.

“Sure.” Deci said and jumped up.

“Sure…And Dec?”

“Eh? Hrm?”

“We’re not done having this conversation.”

“Fine, but not now. Later.”

“Okay.”
They all got up and followed the two ‘ans’ to where Pilot was.

….. and thus awkwardness ensues.

“This is going to sound stereotypical, but… has anyone seen Banana and Dean?” Norman asked.

“Why does that sound stereo….ly.” Ivan asked.

“Because, everyone is always ‘oh they love each other’ and ‘they sneak off to make out’. This time we really can’t find them.”
“I don’t think the word you’re looking for is stereotypical.” Ivan said.

“Whatever. It’s become one, shut up.”

Rev and Deci exchanged glanced.

“So really though, where are they?” Ivan asked.

“I think that’s a subliminal way of saying ‘go look for them.’ Don’t you Rev?” Deci asked.

“We can all go if you want.” Norman said. “I don’t mind we can all go in pairs. Or alone, whatever.”

“Nah, we’ll be back, I think I know where they are.” Rev said and with that he and Deci walked down the hall.

“I wonder if they really are making out.” Rev mused as they walked.

“Dear lord. Do you really think that? I’m telling you, drastic. This is not drastic.”

“No… you’re right, unless it’s MAKING OUT DRASTIC!”

“Oye.”

They continued walking until they heard a noise….