Zombie 2.0 1/2

Banana walked out after Dean, not really sure what to do. What the hell was he mad about anyway?! She hadn’t done anything wrong…right? When she saw him he was sitting on a rock starring at the ground. Banana walked over and stood in front of him.

“So… would you like your card back?”

“No.”

“Good. I wasn’t gonna give it back anyway.”

Dean looked indifferent.

“I was just joking you know… Are you mad at me or something?” Suddenly feeling like a little school girl again she shifted from side to side not looking at him.

“What gave you that idea?” He stared her down.

“Well… I don’t know. Maybe when you got all pissed off and stormed of like a child? That might have been an indicator. So what is your issue little one?”

He didn’t say anything. He just looked away and down the trail.

“What… is this about the fact I didn’t say that I think your a drop dead sexy beast while I thought you were asleep? Maybe even dead?” She paused for a moment, suddenly a little angry herself. “Were you awake for that?”

“No. I woke up when you screamed that I drooled on you but let us not change the subject here. I didn’t say ‘drop dead sexy beast’.”

“Well whatever you said then. I was just paraphrasing.” She felt like he was trying to push her into a wall.

“Fine then. Never mind.”

“This is about that isn’t it?! This is because I don’t where my five sizes to small heart on my sleeve isn’t it?!” She put her hands on her hips and Dean stood up fast.

“Yes! No! Yes it is. It’s the fact I gave you my heart and you won’t really even give the hint of the same thing!” He shouted with anger.

“How can… you know what? Never mind! I can’t take this madness that you throw me into! You expect soooo much from me! And you know what? What you want isn’t even me! Are you trying to turn me into you your dead girlfriend?!” And immediately Banana knew that she shouldn’t have said that and that he wasn’t even supposed to know that fact. Fuck. “I’m… So sorry.” She felt so horrible. Not to mention VERY, VERY horrible.

At first Banana had thought that Dean didn’t hear her apology. He didn’t move for a long time. Then finally, he turned to her unblinking and opened his mouth then closed it.

Banana bit her lip waiting for him to say the worst.

Dean started walking towards her angrily then stopped and stared at the ground. He glanced back up at her and then in a hurry walked in the other direction and didn’t stop even when Banana yelled for him to come back.

“Fuckin’ cute.” She mumbled to herself and sighed. She felt bad but she wasn’t going to go after him. He needed time and she didn’t want to get punched in the face. She sat down on a rock and stared off in to space.

That’s the sound of all the puppies in the world crying….

Rev sat up and looked around. He noticed that something was amiss but wasn’t sure quite what it was. He got up and paced around for a moment and then sighed in relief. It was just peaceful. No Banana or Dean.

He went back to his business, which was sitting on the ground, and waited for someone to say something, hoping it would be Deci.

“So…” Ivan sat down next to him.

“Don’t ask me why we’re here. That is MY line, and I get really confused and a little bit disoriented when people steal my lines. It’s like they are living my life and I have no real purpose.”

Ivan looked at Rev for a long moment and then grinned. “You found some pot didn’t you!?”

Rev looked at him. “What? No….”

“Oh, so you’re serious? When you say stuff like that?”

“Of course I am! How would you like it if I walked around using your catch phrase?”

“Er…”

“Yeah that’s right, I’d be like…” Rev stopped and looked at him. “You don’t even have your own catch phrase. How sad is that? You can borrow mine I guess.”

Ivan shook his head. “I don’t want yours. I want my own.”

“Well…fine what is it then?”

“I…” But Ivan shrugged.

“I don’t know either… Hey Pilot, if Ivan had a phrase what would it be?”

“I don’t know, he doesn’t talk.”

“Good answer. Fine, Norman?”

Norman looked at his friend for a long time then shrugged. “I don’t know, he is like… the not Gandhi of words.”

Ivan looked at Rev. “Neither is he.”

Rev nodded in understanding.

“I know what your phrase can be! How about, ‘I let zombies in wherever we go!” Deci said.

“That wasn’t me! That was Norman!” Ivan said.

“Oh right. That should be HIS catch phrase.”

“I’m gonna come over there and beat you senseless woman.”

“I’d like to see you try it…ma’am.”

Norman started towards Deci but Rev quickly stuck out his foot, causing Norman to go flying face first in to Ivan’s crotch.

Ivan tripped as this happened, twisting and moving so that when he fell Normans head was stuck between his legs.

“Get off me!” Ivan yelled

“Get your balls off my head!” Norman yelled back.

“Get your head off my balls!” Ivan was yelling trying to move but the more they moved the more they slid around, being caught on some camping gear.

“I swear to God if you don’t move your head-.”

But Rev wasn’t done enjoying the moment. He quickly stepped over the fighting pair and bent over, yanking a blanket that they were both standing on trying to move. Again they fell this time with Ivan on the ground and Normans ass catching him in the side of the head.

“GET OFF ME!” Ivan yelled.

“REV!” Norman yelled.

Rev smiled and walked over to where he was sitting earlier beside Dean and Banana and sat down. He admired his handy work. Two red faced guys who were most likely going to plan his demise later that evening.

Deci walked over by Rev and sat down. She smiled.

“Are you done being mad at me now?” Rev asked.

“Nope, I just wanted to ask you if you always made people’s lives more complicated than they should be.”

“I enjoy it. It’s a bad gift, I had to make the best of it.”

Deci nodded and got up, but she was still smiling.

Pilot walked in the room and tripped over the blanket that was lying awkwardly on the floor. As he was falling he reached out to grab the only thing that he could to prevent him from smashing his face.

It just so happened he grabbed on to Normans belt buckle and down came his pants, along with Pilot.

Norman stood shocked in the middle of the cave with his pants down and Pilot rolling around trying to fight gravity.

Deci had stopped in her tracks and saw the whole thing, then burst out laughing so hard she got dizzy and had to sit down.

Rev grinned from his spot knowing he had made another life miserable.

The fog is as thick as your skull is Dean.

Banana walked to the top of the small hill next to them and looked around. She spotted Dean not too far away kicking the shit out of the chopper which was still in the field. She sighed. She wasn’t going after him. He shouldn’t of gotten so angry about her not spilling her feelings out to him every five seconds. Sure she had a weird way of showing any emotion, but it wasn’t her fault, it was the way she was. And while she shouldn’t have played the dead girlfriend card, it was the truth. He was trying to turn her in to what he had lost.

She walked back to the cave and immediately went to take a nap, ignoring everyone else who was watching her. She had no idea of anything that had happened, including why Norman was just now pulling up his pants. She didn’t want to know. Though it did raise some questions in the back of her mind.

Rev was talking to Deci trying to get her to say she wasn’t angry with him, but she wouldn’t give up the fat thing and decided to take a walk herself. Rev busied himself with Ivan who was still cursing about earlier’s mishaps.

Deci walked over the hill and saw Dean kicking the crap out of the chopper and decided to investigate and make sure he didn’t break his foot, or the chopper if it was still good.

“Dean are you alright?” She asked not getting too close to him.

“Fuck! FUCK! FUCK!” He yelled kicking the side of it harder.

Deci picked a spot on the ground and sat down, she looked around for any signs of zombies. None. So far they had been more than lucky. It was like a bad comedy about zombies. She sighed. No movie magic here.

When Dean was done kicking he punched a few times and then kicked once more and then looked off in to the distance, ignoring that fact she was there for some time.

“Are you alright now?” Deci asked after ten minutes had gone by.

Dean didn’t answer. He glanced back at her and then looked back to where he was staring before.

“Alright, well seeming as how you don’t want to talk I will. You know, Banana… er.. fuck this. Sara, she came back and went to sleep. I know you guys must have had some words or something, I’m not asking what it was about. None of my business, but I am just going to say, you two really need to figure this crap out. It’s not healthy for us little broken home kids you know. Rev worries. I worry.”

“Well you don’t have to worry anymore. I’m done with that entire situation.”

“Oh?” Deci asked. She wanted to press the issue but didn’t for fear of Dean picturing her as the helicopter.

“Yeah. I’m done with it. I don’t need to bother. I get that now.”

“And why now of all times?” She asked.

“Because there is no changing her.”

Deci laughed.

“Why are you laughing? Is this what you wanted? Fine you got what you wanted.” Dean started to walk off but Deci wasn’t stupid. She grew up around guys who often times got really angry for no reason, she knew what buttons to push and what ones to stay the hell away from.

She got up and walked after him, careful to keep a tiny distance between them.

“Dean, I wasn’t laughing because it’s what I wanted, I was laughing because you said ‘there’s no changing her’. Of course there isn’t have you MET her?”

Dean stopped and spun around so quickly Deci winced.

He stopped and looked at her with an incredulous look and then frowned.

“I wouldn’t hit you.”

“I didn’t think you would, you just jumped the shit out of me. Besides I could take you. Now moving on to more serious things here… Did you honestly think you could change her?”

“No, I didn’t want to change her. I wanted her to just be a little bit more human that’s all. I don’t care she can’t share her feelings. I don’t. I don’t expect her to, but at least a little emotion some time! I mean shit you could have killed me with that bat-.”

“For the record, no. No I couldn’t have, but continue.”

He sighed angrily. “I don’t want her to change who she is, I just want her to actually shows she cares because sometimes it’s impossible to tell if she does or not! And you know… I’ve already said this a million times, but I do have feelings for her.”

Deci bit her lip and looked around hoping a zombie would come out.

“I know, I know, you don’t like to talk about it either. But it’s true…and you know what? I fucking have a right to be angry this time. I do. She…She…” he stopped and calmed himself down a little. “She said I was trying to turn her in to my dead girlfriend.”

Deci let it sink in a little then decided against her better judgment to go on. “Well…And not be mean here, please don’t hit me, but… You are. Kind of. I mean don’t take that the wrong way, I’m not saying you’re trying to turn her in to her…I mean, I don’t know her…or ..what?”

Dean growled. “Do all of you know about it? Rev can’t keep his god damn mouth shut ever!” he started walking off again.

“No! Don’t get mad at him! He just wanted us to be informed-.”

“Shut the fuck up Deci, I don’t care how much you wanna protect your little boyfriend but-oof!”

Dean was pushed face first in to the muddy grass. It was raining now on top of the fog that was starting to settle in.

“GET OFF ME!”

“NO!”

“GET THE FUCK OFF ME!”

“NO! AND I AM FAT! TRY TO LIFT ME OFF YOU BITCH!”

“GET THE FUCK OFF ME!”

“NOT UNTIL YOU CALM DOWN AND LISTEN TO ME!”

“FINE I’M CALM NOW GET THE FUCK OFF ME!”

“No.” She said much more calmly. “No I’m not letting you up until you listen to me. First of all, don’t talk bad about Rev. He’s been your best friend since this started and without him none of us would be together. Second of all, fuck this whole relationship thing, it’s stupid and making us all crazy. Third of all, yes I know about your dead girlfriend. And your kid. And I’m sorry that happened to you. I am, the same happened to Rev and you know what? He can help you with that, but you cannot try to make Banana…anything other than who she is now. She will not change just because you really want her to. If you want her to be a little more emotion…filled, then let her do it on her own. She would if she got to know you better! And besides all this, you can’t make someone feel something they don’t!”

Dean didn’t say anything he just kept his face down in the mud.

“I wish that you could understand that. I really really do. It’s not that she doesn’t like you, and that you’re a bad person, it’s just you’re trying too hard to make her who she isn’t. And you can’t do that to her. She needs stability. She doesn’t like change! I mean… I don’t either, but it’s here and there, and we can’t avoid it…” She realized she was rambling, “And back to my main point you just need to stop trying so hard to make her in to who you lost. That is your loss. No dragging that out on her! Unless you wanna talk about it, fine, but don’t try to do that to her. Let her be her.”

“She thinks I don’t like her. As her. I’m not trying to make her my…I’m not. I just want her to be a little more …. Human. I need someone who is a little more human right now.”

“Don’t we all. But you can’t be all greedy and try to make her something that she won’t be. Unless you let her just do it on her own. I’m not saying it’ll happen, because it’s Banana. But it might have a better chance of happening if you weren’t so pushy.”

“Yeah.”

Deci awkwardly hugged the back of Dean’s head and then got up and let him stand.

“So, let’s just go back and then we’ll all be fine…” Deci started walking but Dean didn’t. She stopped and looked at him. “Are you coming?”

“No. Not now. I don’t want to be around her. I’m still mad at what she said. Deci, I know you don’t get it, but… I’m not just gonna let this blow over.”

“Fine, then don’t expect her to let it blow over either. Things are gonna be really awkward now.” Deci went back to the cave and left Dean to fend for himself.