Zombie 2.0 1/2
Baby it’s cold outside…. Or is that just Banana’s aura?
Rev approached the truck carefully incase the two in the back had fallen asleep again. Sure enough when he peered over the tailgate Banana and Dean were snoozing peacefully and Dean had his head on her arm.
Rev smiled evilly. He crawled up on the bumper and held on to the back of the gate and then began jumping up and down and started to yell.
“ZOMBIES! HOLY SHIT FUCKING FUCK!”
Dean shot up so fast he farted and Banana quickly opened the back window and crawled through and was in the cab rolling up windows before Dean could function.
“Wow.” Rev said laughing quite hard. He jumped down and bent over holding his stomach.
Dean cleared his throat and then looked around. “You didn’t hear that did you?” he asked.
“Hear what? The whistle of Banana going so fast, or the whistle that came out your ass?”
“Oh you know, the first one.”
“Uh huh.” Rev grinned and then shook his head. “You know I don’t think I feel safe around you two anymore. If zombies were attacking Banana would just roll up the windows and…” he squinted at a sudden noise from inside the truck, “Did she just lock the doors?”
“I think so.” Dean turned around and looked in the window to which Banana was now putting a hoodie up in.
“Well anyhow, yeah. I don’t feel that this relationship is working out. And, I think it’s time for us to see other people.” Rev said leaning against the back of the truck.
“Well if you insist.”
“She’s not coming out of there is she?” Rev asked walking around the corner and trying to peer inside the window.
“It’s doubtful.”
“Is she afraid of something or not all the way awake yet?”
“No, I’m pretty sure she’s trying to go back to sleep.” Dean said amused.
“Leave it up to her… See I really don’t feel safe if she’s in charge.”
“Good thing she’s not in charge then.” Dean said and grinned. “So Rev buddy boy, tell me, what’s the deal with you and the lady who is currently unattended for?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean. How’s things?”
“There are no things to be had.” He said hopping up on the back of the truck. “But it’s okay, I think she’s just putting it off because she’s stubborn. How are things with you and Banana?”
“Things are moving I guess. Who knows anymore right?”
Rev shrugged. “Should we just give up man?”
Just then the back window opened and Banana stuck her face in it to glare out at them.
“What? Are we too loud?” Dean asked.
She continued to glare at them.
“Did we… wake you up from a dream in which you were swooning some fair man…dude?”
“No, just the fact that you two are so stupid, yet clever, that sometimes it makes me wonder what either of us, me or Deci that is since you seem too dumb to figure this all out, sees in you! ‘Should we give up?’ Are you two mentally challenged? Or do you just not have very good luck with women? I obviously can see why since you have no women around you. And that has nothing to do with the zombies. Most zombie movies the dudes find women and get with them, this time you guys start out with women and you two don’t know anything!” She slammed the window.
Dean and Rev looked at each other and then back at the window that now was covered with the hoodie again.
“Did we just get bitched at for not doing what we’ve been trying to do, but they’ve been tellin’ us they don’t want to do it so we’re doing what they want? But now she wants us to do it anyways even when they are mad at yelling and mean….” Rev asked.
“I don’t even know what happened, I’m still waking up from you scaring the shit out of me.” Dean said.
They looked at each other one more time and then Rev looked down and smiled. “Hey look, beer.”
Rev smiled evilly. He crawled up on the bumper and held on to the back of the gate and then began jumping up and down and started to yell.
“ZOMBIES! HOLY SHIT FUCKING FUCK!”
Dean shot up so fast he farted and Banana quickly opened the back window and crawled through and was in the cab rolling up windows before Dean could function.
“Wow.” Rev said laughing quite hard. He jumped down and bent over holding his stomach.
Dean cleared his throat and then looked around. “You didn’t hear that did you?” he asked.
“Hear what? The whistle of Banana going so fast, or the whistle that came out your ass?”
“Oh you know, the first one.”
“Uh huh.” Rev grinned and then shook his head. “You know I don’t think I feel safe around you two anymore. If zombies were attacking Banana would just roll up the windows and…” he squinted at a sudden noise from inside the truck, “Did she just lock the doors?”
“I think so.” Dean turned around and looked in the window to which Banana was now putting a hoodie up in.
“Well anyhow, yeah. I don’t feel that this relationship is working out. And, I think it’s time for us to see other people.” Rev said leaning against the back of the truck.
“Well if you insist.”
“She’s not coming out of there is she?” Rev asked walking around the corner and trying to peer inside the window.
“It’s doubtful.”
“Is she afraid of something or not all the way awake yet?”
“No, I’m pretty sure she’s trying to go back to sleep.” Dean said amused.
“Leave it up to her… See I really don’t feel safe if she’s in charge.”
“Good thing she’s not in charge then.” Dean said and grinned. “So Rev buddy boy, tell me, what’s the deal with you and the lady who is currently unattended for?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean. How’s things?”
“There are no things to be had.” He said hopping up on the back of the truck. “But it’s okay, I think she’s just putting it off because she’s stubborn. How are things with you and Banana?”
“Things are moving I guess. Who knows anymore right?”
Rev shrugged. “Should we just give up man?”
Just then the back window opened and Banana stuck her face in it to glare out at them.
“What? Are we too loud?” Dean asked.
She continued to glare at them.
“Did we… wake you up from a dream in which you were swooning some fair man…dude?”
“No, just the fact that you two are so stupid, yet clever, that sometimes it makes me wonder what either of us, me or Deci that is since you seem too dumb to figure this all out, sees in you! ‘Should we give up?’ Are you two mentally challenged? Or do you just not have very good luck with women? I obviously can see why since you have no women around you. And that has nothing to do with the zombies. Most zombie movies the dudes find women and get with them, this time you guys start out with women and you two don’t know anything!” She slammed the window.
Dean and Rev looked at each other and then back at the window that now was covered with the hoodie again.
“Did we just get bitched at for not doing what we’ve been trying to do, but they’ve been tellin’ us they don’t want to do it so we’re doing what they want? But now she wants us to do it anyways even when they are mad at yelling and mean….” Rev asked.
“I don’t even know what happened, I’m still waking up from you scaring the shit out of me.” Dean said.
They looked at each other one more time and then Rev looked down and smiled. “Hey look, beer.”