Zombie 2.0 1/2

Banana and Dean were creeping around the back to make sure there were no hidden surprises, or other crazy people.

“Who would want to kill off other people who are alive? And who could potentially HELP them stay alive.” Dean asked.

“Those are people who just are so paranoid that they feel the need to kill everyone.” Banana said.

“Shh. Do you hear that?”

Thump. Thump.

“What is that?” Dean’s eyes were now round as grapefruits.

“I don’t know. Why do you always ask me, I’ve been with you the whole time!” Banana said.

Thump. Thump.

“Well maybe we should figure it out.” Dean said.

“RUN!”

It was Deci’s voice.

“Deci?” Dean turned around but only to see Rev and Deci running past them.

“I thought you had the inside?” he asked confused but started to run after them.

“Yeah, we did! But it was horrible! We can’t go in there!” Rev yelled.

“Why not?” Banana asked as she … sort of ran… behind them.

Rev and Deci stopped and so did the other two.

“Because, there was a giant… SACK in there.”

Banana and Dean’s expressions both darkened at the same time.

“We got you?” Rev asked.

They continued to just stare at them.

“Hey! I just got shot. You need to give me this one.” Rev protested.

Dean smiled. “Alright, you got us.”

Banana however grunted.

“Come on please Banana. I know it’s hard for you to feel human emotions but please just give me this one. I’ll love you forever.”

Banana sighed. “Fine, but if I ever get shot I win sacking all forever.”

“If you ever get shot and survive, I will fucking kiss a monkey’s ass.” Dean said.

Banana turned to him and suddenly without warning punched him right in the stomach.

“Oof!”

Deci’s eyes went a little wide and Rev stood staring in disbelief.

“Come on.” Dean panted.

“Nope you had that coming for a lonnnng time.” Banana said. She turned to Rev. “Is it safe to go in there?”

Rev put his hands up. “Don’t hit me!” He begged.

She laughed. “I won’t hit you. Now, is it safe.”

“Yes ma’am. Just don’t beat me.”

Deci rolled her eyes.

The four of them went in to the cabin and shockingly it was clean. There was no signs of the infection in there what so ever, and no sign that anyone had been staying there during the outbreak.

Rev found the couch that was overly fluffy, he assumed old people had been here at one point due to the plastic still on it, and flopped down.

“Ouch.” He said.

“Well you did get shot. I mean I know you’re okay, but you’re not Iron Man.” Deci said from next to the fire place.

“Oh really? And you sure as fuck aren’t Dr. House.”

“Bite me.”

“If I felt more frisky I would.”

“Oye.” She mumbled. “Always literal when it doesn’t count.”

Dean and Banana made their way to the kitchen that was down a hallway and in the back. It was a strange place for a kitchen but they figure the people who made the place were Canadian. Or at least French. Everything was backwards.

Dean took a seat at the table and looked at the cards that were laying there. It was as if they wanted to be played so Banana sat down also and he picked them up and dealt her a hand.

“So, if I win this game… You have to be nice to me. For ever. Which is a really long time. But yeah, if I win this game, you have to be nice. In fact, you have to be my girlfriend for one week.” Dean said.

Banana set her cards down. “I forfeit.” She said.

Dean frowned. “You can’t do that. You aren’t allowed. Name something you want if you win.”

Banana thought for a minute. Then smiled. “If I win, you have to never mention feelings again. You can’t cry or whine, and you can’t try to make me talk to you about anything other than what we need to be talked about. AND!” She held up her hand to his protest. “You have to let ME drive.”

Dean’s face fell. “I can’t let you drive.”

“Then I guess you don’t want me to be an emotion feeling human being.”

Dean grunted. “Fine. Deal. Now, don’t cheat. I hear you do that a lot.”

“I do no such thing.” Banana narrowed her eyes at him. They stared at each other for a minute then finally they began their game.

“Hrmm.” Dean said.

“Yes hrmm indeed.” Banana said back.

They had both put on their poker faces and were deadly serious.

Deci walked in to the room and noticed they were very in to what they were doing. She looked at both their cards and then laughed and walked away.

“I wonder what she was laughing at.” Dean said.

“Your pathetic attempt at winning this game. We used to play all the time. I’m very good at this.” Banana said.

“I see.” Dean said, a sweat breaking out above his brow.

“Is it my turn?” she asked.

“Yes.” He said.

“Do you have any eights?” She said calmly.

“I do.”

“See. I’m already winning.”

“Do you have any tens?” he asked.

She looked down at her cards and then back up at him, her face was sober. “Go fish.”

Rev was laying on the couch staring at the ceiling when Deci came back in and sat down where his feet were.

“So…. Ever wonder why we are here?” Rev asked.

“What?”

“You know. Here.”

“Here, here? Or here?”

“Here, here.”

“Here universe here? Or here cabin here?”

“Here cabin here.” Rev said looking down at her.

“Uh, no.” And for once Banana didn’t yell anything.

“Huh, no interrupting yelling. Interesting.”

“Well-“ Insert interrupting yelling here.

“GOD DAMMIT!” Someone screamed from the other room.

Rev and Deci didn’t have time to move from the couch when Dean came in wearing a giant smile.

“I have never won that game in my life. Just so happens today is the day I win.” Dean said. His smile got bigger when Banana walked in wearing a scowl.

“Do I even want to know what you two wagered?” Deci asked.

“I bet they have to make out now.” Rev said.

“Oh no. There will be no making out. There will be no deal. There WILL be a rematch. In the kitchen. Double or nothing.” Banana said.

“How the hell do you double what we wagered?” Dean asked.

“If you win this time, I will be your girlfriend for a damn month. AND I WILL SHOW EMOTION! I WILL HOLD YOUR HAND! BUT !!!” Her eyes went crazy buggy, “IF I WIN!” her hands came together and her fingers tapped menacingly.

“Oh jesus, she’s lost her mind.” Whispered Rev to Deci. She nodded.

“IF I WIN!” She yelled again. “IF I WIN! OH HO HO.! IF I WIN!”

“Are you… okay?” Dean asked. “If this is going to give you a brain aneurysm, I don’t think we should play.”

“OH IM FINE!”

“I don’t think you are, you haven’t stopped shouting.” Dean said backing away and putting his hand over his stomach.

“If I win, Your car is MINE.”

“What?”

Deci and Rev gasped dramatically, for effect.

“You heard me. If I win, your car is MY car. And YOU can’t drive it.”

Dean went a little pale and then grabbed on to the fire place for support.

“That’s right. If you want to do this again, this is how we’ll do it.”

“But I didn’t wanna do it again, I was happy with a week…” Dean whined.

“I don’t care. AGAIN!” And Banana stomped off to the kitchen.

“Um, that was strange? Have you ever seen a more than snapped Banana?” Rev asked Deci.

She looked horrified. “That was beyond anything I have ever seen in my life. But,” She smiled, “you have to admit that was pretty funny. ‘ I’m fine!’ ” She began laughing ferociously.

Rev nervously laughed. “Hehe, I personally think its scary and want my teddy bear…” He glanced towards the kitchen door. “She kinda really freaks me out.”

Deci laughed even harder. “ Dude she is really a big softy on the inside.”

“Right. So… wanna play a game?”

“What kind of game?”

“A love game.”

“I’m old Greg!” Deci shouted.

“Yes, yes, but in all seriousness, lets play a game.”

“Okay. What game?”

“How about we think up better ways to sack them?”

“Sounds good to me.”

Banana was concentrating on her cards. They were tied. They both only had one card left and she hoped that it was the right card. For her that was, not for him. Screw him. She wanted the freedom of no emotion rather than the car, but the car was a good idea, make him nervous. So he’d flub up. Oh yes.

“Are you talking to yourself in your head?” Dean asked.

Banana looked at him. “What? No. Take your turn dead man.”

Dean frowned and then took a deep breath. “Alright, here goes… do you have-“

“NO!”

“I didn’t even ask.” He said.

“I don’t care, I don’t have it!” She yelled.

“Uh huh. Do you have any six’s?” he asked.

Banana looked down at her card. It was a six. “No.” She said, and looked rather convincing.

“SON OF A BITCH!” He threw his cards everywhere.

“I WIN!” She yelled triumphantly.

“I can’t believe I just… lost my…car.” Dean looked rather upset by it but Banana didn’t care.

“Well, you better go out and say goodbye to it. Since it is mine now.” She said.

Dean got up from his chair and walked out to the car and stared at it. Banana went in the living room to join Rev and Deci.

“So… I take it he lost. Other wise even as crazy as he is, I don’t think that he’d be hugging … is that hugging? Yeah, I don’t think he’d be doing that if he won.”

Banana glanced out and it seemed like Dean was taking it harder than she would of thought, but again she didn’t care.

“I better go see if he’s gonna be alright.” Deci said and left.

Banana was watching out the window and suddenly Rev looked at her.

“Judging by the look on your face I’d say you cheated.” He said.

“What?” She turned to him her eyes wide.

“OH! Whoa, don’t hit me! Remember I got shot!” Rev said putting his hands up in front of his face.

“I won’t hit you.” She narrowed her eyes. “But what makes you think I cheated?” she asked.

“I was only joking. Why do you have a guilty conscience?”

“No.” She said and they stared at each other.

“Okay, just curious. Cuz you know if you did, I wouldn’t say anything.”

“I didn’t cheat.” She said.

“Okay, cool.”

“I DIDN’T!” She yelled.

Rev’s face was curious now.

“I DID NOT CHEAT!” She whispered loudly.

“Whoa, back up cowgirl. I know you didn’t.” Rev said, but the way his left eye brow was raised told Banana otherwise.

“Okay fine!” she sat down next to him. “I did cheat, but you better not tell him! I’ll have Deci remove a limb!”

“I won’t tell I promise. But come on look at the man. He just shot his dad.. not too long ago. Why do you have to take his car?” He asked.

“I am not taking it for me, I am taking it …. For me.”

“I know. But think about it. You don’t have to date him, but give him the car? And you don’t have to show emotion, I know how difficult it is for you.” Rev smiled.

“It’s not that difficult, I chose not to do it. There is a difference between not doing it and not being able to.” Banana said folding her arms.

“Either way, im only joking. I’d take the car. Does this mean I can drive?” he asked excitedly.

“I’ll let you drive if you don’t tell him I cheated.” She said.

“Deal.” He agreed.

Deci came back in with her arm around Dean’s waist. He was leaning on her for moral support and he looked pretty bummed.

“I can’t believe after six years of being good to me, my baby’s gone.” He moaned.

“You’ll be alright. It’s not like you won’t get to ride in it.” Deci reassured him.

“I know but it’s not the same! It was my baby! It was so good to me. I remember the time I first drove it… The first time I took a girl in it.. the first time I –“

“Okay, if that sentence finish’s with ‘ had sex’ then I don’t want to know.” Banana said.

Tears welled up in Dean’s eyes. “I…I…”

“Oh dear God!” Banana said looking at him. “Really? Keep the car.”

“No! I lost. Fair and square. I lost. I owe you that car. It’s not like you cheated.” He sulked.

Deci looked at her friend that she had known for six years. She studied her face and then suddenly it was very clear what had happened. She had cheated.

Dean was too busy wallowing in tears to notice the expression on Banana’s face, and when he finally looked at her it was gone.

“Here.. I want you to have…the .. the…k-keys.” He walked over to her and handed her the keys.

“Thank you.” She said. And she looked at him a little bit more.

“I need to go lay down. In the car…” Dean said and walked off.

When he was gone Deci looked at Banana.

“What?” she asked.

“You haven’t been this mean since you gave little Franky the death stare for hugging you!” She said.

“You gave a kid a death stare for hugging you?” Rev asked.

“HE WAS DIRTY!” She yelled.

“Well, Dean’s not dirty, give him his car back.”

“No way, I won it.” Banana said to Deci.

“Uh huh. You expect me to believe that! Just like you expect me to believe that you don’t feel emotion eh? I know you, I’ve seen you get sad. It might have been about something ridiculous like Dragon Age got broken in half, or your X box was not portable for this trip, but YOU.GOT.SAD.”

Banana grumbled. “I …”

“X Box. At home. Right now. No one playing it. All those points. Just sitting there.”

“I…err.”

“And to him his car is like your X Box.”

“Not to mention, just throwing this out there not to be a dick or anything, but I’ve known Dean for a few years now, and his dad actually gave him that car.”

Banana sighed. “I am not that mean.”

“Well, if you wouldn’t have cheated we wouldn’t have really cared.” Rev said.

“Since when are you Saint Rev?” Deci asked him.

“Since when are you Mrs. Mother Teresa?”
They continued to argue while Banana went out to find Dean.