Watch You Cry

Three weeks. The deal had been made.
Every second day for the next three weeks, I was to visit Doctor Reeve’s office and explain over and over that my head hadn’t throbbed and that my chest hadn’t tightened. How considerate of him to have me visit only every second day. ’Perhaps a little time away is necessary.’ he had laughed. After the first week I recognized my regular trips to the doctor’s office as a part of my well routined life. My mother had noticeably worried more. I hadn’t thought it possible, but she had, and it hurt me to see her so careless for herself only to waste her worries on me.
It had been ‘necessary’ to notify the school of my new schedule, and now, despite the curriculum, I was being encouraged to ‘take it easy’ or to ‘go home if ever I feel unwell.’
The only thing I feel, however, is caged. Any shred of freedom I once obtained had now been given to the hands of those who have the rest of it.

• • •

Standing in the Dulaney High School parking lot under the hot afternoon sun, Declan Slade fumbled with her keys at the driver door of her black Mustang. Her concentration was slipping as her fingers fiddled with the item, before it was completely gone as she was suddenly being spoken to.
“Hey Declan,” Alex greeted, shoving a hand into his jean pocket and shifting his weight from foot to foot. It had been a few days since Alex Gaskarth had tried talking to Declan again, but at that moment, Declan couldn’t be happier to see the now familiar face.
Declan looked up from her hands, “Hey Alex.” she couldn’t help but smile. Her mind warned her of sending a misleading message to the boy, but who was she kidding? Alex Gaskarth’s presence was a more welcomed one than that of a nurse or doctor. From her constantly being surrounded by watchful eyes, it was refreshing to now be looking into the eyes of a clueless high school boy.
Alex blinked, heavily startled by a genuine smile given by Declan Slade. He was sure it was the first he had ever seen.
“How are you?” He asked carefully, unsure of whether she was going to hold this conversation or not.
The blonde girl held back a sigh, knowing ‘how are you?’ was at least better than ‘how are you feeling?’
“I’m good, thanks Alex. How are you?”
Before Alex could reply, Jack Barakat had jumped to his side with a grin plastered on his long face. “Declan!”
Declan gave Jack the same smile she gave Alex, surprised with herself for feeling so happy to see these boys. “Hi Jack.”
“What’s up? You going home?” He questioned, glancing down at the keys in her hand.
“Oh,” Declan dropped her smile and looked down also, though not at her keys. “Yeah, I am.”
Both boys nodded and Jack smiled, “We’re going to hang out at Alex’s now,” he nudged Alex, “if you wanted to come?”
Alex stared at the girl before him. She was usually polite and formal, but today she seemed too distracted to keep up her facade. She actually looked sad.
“I... Can’t. I’m sorry.” Declan look down again, her mood lowering along the way. She had an appointment with Doctor Reeve that very moment, in fact, she was now running late. Another appointment just to tell him the things he had heard several times already.
Alex frowned. Why is she so upset? He had thought, gazing into Declan’s absent eyes.
All the young girl could think about, though, was not wanting to be at her house, where her mother would reiterate endlessly that she was to be careful, and not wanting to be at the doctor’s office, where she was to answer question after question. All Declan wanted to do was be with people who didn’t remind her that her life was so delicate she could barely live it.
“Maybe... tomorrow?” She offered.
Both boys raised their large eyebrows in slight surprise, particularly Alex. However, they both agreed nonchalantly before saying goodbye and walking back to the friends they had waiting for them at the other side of the parking lot.
Declan turned back to her car with a small smile twitching at her lips and finally managed to unlock the door, knowing that the tightening she felt in her chest after seeing Alex Gaskarth’s final glance would not be worth mentioning to her doctor that afternoon.