Watch You Cry

The silence in Declan’s bedroom was so familiar, it was something expected and almost required in her household. Just down the hall from the room the small blonde girl had been sleeping in all her life was the kitchen, where she knew her mother would be mindlessly stirring a pot of something. Whatever it was she was cooking would be over-excessively prepared, ready to serve about five when there’s was only about an appetite and a half within the house.

Declan released the lungful of air she had been holding in her chest, lifting herself from the edge of her single bed and capturing within her fingers the two pills sitting idly on her bedside table. The small capsules burned tauntingly in her small hand, mocking her. Without them she would surely be useless. Not that she wasn’t already...

Tossing them back dry, she made her way out of her room and into the kitchen where, sure enough, her frail mother stood before a stove, watching a pot of water boil lifelessly.
“Mom?” The younger of the two rasped, startling her tired mother.

Blinking heavily, Catherine smiled wearily. “Yes, dear?”

Declan twisted her fingers into each other, crossing her legs over on the spot and gazing around the room.

“I, uh... I was wondering if you- How you would feel if...” She couldn’t quite get the words out, hell, she had never had to. “If I went to a friend’s house for the night...”

Catherine stood speechless, rendered silent by the shocking words to have just left her daughter’s mouth. Her blue eyes, identical to the girl’s before her, widened in what appeared to be shock and disbelief.
“A friend’s house?”

Declan’s eyebrows knitted down, both confused and appalled by her mother’s reaction. “Yeah, mom... A friend’s house. Is that so hard to believe? That I have friends? Because I do. And they want me to go out with them.”

Shit. Declan mentally cursed herself. She had recently decided to exclude that part from her mother’s knowledge, being fully aware of how the conversation would play out.
Catherine’s mouth dropped, a small coughing sound falling out of her throat.

“Go out? To what - a party? You want to go out?”

Declan found herself fuming, completely boiling from the sudden angry disapproval coming from the woman before her.

“Not a party, just a get together. There’ll be barely anyone there, and I’ll be with my... friends...” Declan knew now that she was talking out of her ass. She had literally no clue how many people would be at this ‘O’Malley’ character’s house, and she felt quite uncomfortable labelling Alex, Jack, Rian and Kara as her friends when she had only known them for a couple of days.

Did they think of her as a friend? Surely Kara did; she invited the blonde to her house... And Alex had made it clear he wanted to be at least acquaintances. Jack took her to the movies for Christ’s sake!

“Declan, I don’t know... What if... What if something were to happen? And—“

“Mom, nothing will happen. And I’ve got my phone; please just trust me.”

Catherine Slade’s eyes glazed over, sadness consuming her. She was sad for her daughter. Sad that something so little as going out with a couple of friends was taken so heavily given her life situation.

“You can go. Just... Be careful. Please.”

• • •

“Okay, so you’re hair looks amazing.” Kara stated matter-of-factly as she set down the curling iron she had previously been twirling through Declan’s long blonde locks.

From the chair she had been sitting on for the past twenty minutes, Declan shyly lifted her head to gaze into the mirror before her. Her hair did look amazing. It fell in soft waves down her chest, falling to her ribcage.

“Oh, wow. Thank you so much, Kara, I love it.” She smiled at Kara’s reflection, not knowing how to express how grateful she really was.

“No worries, hon, I can’t wait to see Alex’s face.” She smirked cheekily before bouncing away into the adjoining bedroom. “Now,” She called out, “we need to get you into something saucy so every guy will faint at the sight of you.”

The blonde girl blushed, despite now being in the room by herself. She had hardly thought of all the people at the party, let alone and male attention she might receive.
“Kara... You won’t, uh, leave me alone tonight, r- right?”

Kara’s head popped through the doorway, a concerned smile on her face, “Of course not, babe, you’ll have all of us!”

Declan soon found herself standing before a mirror in a skirt that was too tight and a pair of heels which were too high. But she looked normal, and she loved it. She really and truly looked as though there was nothing wrong with her, like she was just another girl going to a party with her friends. She had makeup layering her face, covering any blemish or bag, her hair framing it beautifully. The sight of herself made her want to cry, to fall to her knees and bawl because she felt for just a minute that she was okay; not going to die.

“Hey!” Kara’s voice snapped her out of her trance. “You ready? Rian just pulled up.”
Declan took a final glance at her reflection and smiled a small, hopeful smile.

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

• • •

As Kara led Declan out of her house and toward the car parked on the curb, a loud whistle sounded from the vehicle, Jack’s head soon poking out of the passenger window.

“Damn, you some fine honeys!”

Kara rolled her eyes at the boy, shoving his head back into the car and pulling open the back door for Declan. “Jack, you’re the whitest person I’ve ever met.”

Jack scoffed, but remained quiet and shuffled around in his seat.
Declan placed herself into the middle seat of the car, next to Alex who stared at her, speechless for a brief moment.
Kara slid in next, pulling the door closed as Rian pulled onto the street and toward their destination. “Jeez, Alex, pick up your jaw why don’t you?”

The brown haired boy scowled, narrowing his eyes at the girl by the window before returning his gaze to the blonde.

“You look... really good, Declan. Beautiful.” He spoke quietly, partly shy and partly aware that the car full of people would most likely rip on him for his comment.

The girl beside him, however, only failed to hide her smile and looked into her lap, muttering a quiet ‘thank you’ to the boy.

By the time they pulled up to the house already littered with teenagers, Declan’s phone had vibrated a total of four times, buzzing in her hand silently.

Exiting the car and away from any prying eyes, she read the text messages all from her mother and replied with a quick ’I’m fine. I feel fine. Please stop worrying. I’m staying at Kara’s.’

She felt a pang of guilt, knowing how worried her mother was. But this is what she should want, right? Her daughter – living life. Not wasting away in her bedroom every night; no friends, no happiness.

“Dec, c’mon!”
Declan smiled at Jack who stood a few feet ahead of her, his hand outstretched for her to take. She walked forward and grabbed it, letting him take her into the house that was thumping with music she had never heard.

• • •

“Okay, so what you’re gonna’ do is lick the back of your hand, take the shot and then bite this lime.”

Declan’s wide blue eyes looked warily into Jack’s, suddenly unsure of her plans for the night. Did she really want to commit to drinking alcohol tonight? What the hell would happen? She was in way over her head, maybe she could go home if she said she was feeling sick...

Sick.

She was sick.

Fuck it. She thought, taking the shot glass from Jack’s large hands and letting him shake a salt shaker onto the back of her unoccupied one.

“Ready? One, two...” Declan terrified eyes stared down into the abyss of her shot glass, the clear liquid scaring the living daylights out of her. “Three!”

Chasing away anymore doubts, she quickly licked the back of her hand, tasting the salty grains on her tongue, before tipping the whole shot into her mouth and down her throat. Spluttering and coughing away, she hastily picked up the lime wedge on the counter and bit into it, feeling the sour fruit squirt into her mouth and mix in with the burning sensation currently overtaking her tastebuds.

Jack whooped and hollered next to her, pouring more of the alcohol into her glass and cutting more wedges from the same lime as before.

“Ready?” He asked again, holding the salt shaker out for her hand.

Declan controlled her breathing, her eyebrows creased as she slowly nodded her head.
“Ready.”

• • •

Declan found herself sitting on one of the living room couches, legs crossed neatly, head spinning.

She had only consumed four shots, yet her whole body felt as though it were buzzing, like it was on fire in the most comforting way.

Beside her sat Rian, Kara placed on his lap while a mass of people danced in the space before them. In her hands sat another drink, pink in color and extremely sweet in flavour. It tasted different from the shots she had been having earlier, but equally as potent.

The music vibrated through her, deafening her from any possible conversation, so when Alex came stumbling through the crowd, sitting down next to her and beginning to speak, she could only blink back cluelessly.

He tried again, apparently louder as he leaned in closer. In a daze, she could only shake her head and shrug. He chuckled, amused at her state before standing up and pulling her up gently by her arm.

He manoeuvred them hurriedly through the grinding bodies and out the back door where an equal amount of people resided, though most of these guests had cigarettes in their hands.

“I said,” Alex began as he sat down on a bench by the pool, adjusting his grey, unzipped hoodie at the collar, “-Are you having a good time?”

Declan couldn’t help the laugh that fell from her lips as she plopped down in the spot beside him, taking another cringe worthy sip of the drink Jack had made her.

“Yeah, I... I am. I’ve never felt so...” She paused, her eyes focussing intently on the ripples of the pool water.
Alex furrowed his thick eyebrows at the girl before him, still waiting for her to finish her sentence. “So...?”

The blonde’s eyes quickly averted from the pool and back into the boy’s expecting chocolate brown ones.

She smiled, all tooth and glazed eyes. “So happy.”

Alex couldn’t help but return the smile to the gorgeous girl to his left, taking the glass from her small hands and stealing a sip. “Woah,” he scrunched up his face upon tasting the beverage, “No wonder you’re so happy.” He laughed.

Declan stared into his eyes thoughtfully, all of her thoughts mixing around in her intoxicated mind. “I’m happy because I don’t feel sick.” She blurted out, taking her eyes away from his and back into the pool’s glassy glare.

“Sick?” Alex questioned, taking her hand into his without thinking. “Are you okay? Did you drink too much?”

Declan snorted, tightening her hold on Alex’s warm hand, sending the boy’s stomach into a fluttering mess. “Probably. I shouldn’t drink at all, really. I wonder what will happen...”

Alex had never been so confused in all his life, his mind trying to decipher all that this girl was saying to him. She looked so... Distracted? Thoughtful? He would give anything to know exactly what she was thinking.

Suddenly, Declan turned to him, her whole body facing his.
“I like you, Alex. You make me feel normal.”

Despite the horrible slur to her speech and the confusing ending to her statement, all the boy could hear were her first words.

I like you, Alex. I like you, Alex. I like you, Alex.

He beamed, sending the girl a mega-watt smile though she was looking elsewhere now, her adrenaline pumping too high to keep her attention on one thing.
All too quickly, the girl stood from the bench, towering over Alex in her heels which made her legs look twice as long as usual. Alex wanted to hide her away from the party, away from all the boys wanting to take advantage of this girl they very likely didn’t recognize under all that makeup and primping.
“C’mon! We should—We should drink more! Or dance!”

Alex laughed heartily at the excited look on Declan’s beautiful face, standing up with her and letting her take his hand to drag him back into the house.

On their way he could see various sets of eyes on the pair, mostly male, and he gripped Declan’s hand just that much tighter, securing his hold. He didn’t want anyone to take her away, and he wasn’t sure why. Why all of a sudden did he feel this protective over the girl he had known barely a few weeks?

When she wasn’t in the state she was currently in, she was so reserved, so closed off. Why?
Alex’s head was spinning, and not just because of the alcohol, but because of the equally as intoxicating girl at his side. The girl he knew absolutely nothing about, the girl who held everyone at an immense distance.

He wanted to change that; all of that. Because for some reason this girl had come into his life, and that was one thing he didn’t want to change.