Watch You Cry
O O 7
When something so tragic happens, you learn to adapt. It never really hit me, the fact that my life had a deadline. It still hasn't, I suppose.
Maybe if I were attached to something or held a purpous in something, I would feel the realization, but I'm not and I don't.
I always think back to the times when I would tell my mother how everything would be alright, that she needed to to stay strong. How I held her in my arms as she fell apart.
But, in some ways, I've subconsciously prepared myself for my fate. School teaches you things valuable for the future, yet I've been informed that I won't have one. There are things about school that intrigue me though. History has always fascinated me, as well as Science, but I suppose I'm just teasing myself by involving myself in the academic field.
When it comes to a social life, I find myself shrinking away. I can't understand people very well, but then again, I'm not sure how social I would be without the restriction of fear.
I fear that I will bond with someone, and then leave the world and them with that burden. No one should have to deal with losing a loved-one so tragically. I've seen the damage first-hand with my mother, why would I put anyone else through that?
So, I've adapted.
I've adapted into a quiet, awkward, unintelligent, inexperianced girl, with no friends...
But atleast I'm prepared.
Maybe if I were attached to something or held a purpous in something, I would feel the realization, but I'm not and I don't.
I always think back to the times when I would tell my mother how everything would be alright, that she needed to to stay strong. How I held her in my arms as she fell apart.
But, in some ways, I've subconsciously prepared myself for my fate. School teaches you things valuable for the future, yet I've been informed that I won't have one. There are things about school that intrigue me though. History has always fascinated me, as well as Science, but I suppose I'm just teasing myself by involving myself in the academic field.
When it comes to a social life, I find myself shrinking away. I can't understand people very well, but then again, I'm not sure how social I would be without the restriction of fear.
I fear that I will bond with someone, and then leave the world and them with that burden. No one should have to deal with losing a loved-one so tragically. I've seen the damage first-hand with my mother, why would I put anyone else through that?
So, I've adapted.
I've adapted into a quiet, awkward, unintelligent, inexperianced girl, with no friends...
But atleast I'm prepared.
♠ ♠ ♠
I was wondering if you would like it more if I continued updating this quickly, or if I paced it out and updated every second or third day.Also, if you have subscribed, please comment just saying something like, 'Subscribed.'
Even that would make my day.
And finally, I have FINALLY updated my John O'Callaghan Fic, if you'd like to read that :)