Dear God

Have you ever felt like a ninja? Well for some reason that’s what Blaine was feeling like. He was jumping around from corner to corner; sofa to table and table to floor where he did trip on the rug and his face did have the pleasure of meeting the floor. His mother would have a fit if she could see all the ‘brilliant’ little stunts he was pulling.

“Agent XF5, can you hear me” he whispered into the comb, “I see the enemy’s lair and I’m closing in” he said while taking a step towards Dawn’s room. He slowly pushed the door open and ‘prepared for fire’, AKA he loaded his handgun. Literally, it was hands in the shape of a gun.

“Pew pew, die evil minions” he yelled.

He moved in towards the bed, “Oh no, I’m surrounded. Backup, I need backup. No! Man down, I’m shot” He exclaimed as he faked death.

It was while he was crumpling to the floor, much too dramatically that he noticed the white edge sticking out from under her mattress.

“Oh, what have we got here?”

Eager, he lifted the mattress only to find a stack of folded paper.

“I’ve found the mother lode” He told his comb.

Dear God,

Blaine forgot to pick me up from school today. Daddy yelled at him and told him he should be nicer to me. He said he didn’t care then some words that daddy told me not to repeat. Does he really not care?

Love

Dawn

Blaine blinked; he vaguely remembered that, maybe because it had happened so often. He wondered what she did while she waited. He wondered what she was like at school; was she bullied or was she popular? ‘She better not have any crushes yet’ he thought, ‘And he was going to kick the ass of the little punk that dares messing with his sister’.

Dear God,

Rosie was talking about Michelle not being as pretty as her because she doesn’t have the same skin. Rosie doesn’t like Michelle. Rosie likes strawberries but I don’t. Does that mean she doesn’t like me either? I can’t help it, I’m allegoric to them.

Love

Dawn

‘This Rosie girl sounds like a bitch’ He thought.

Dear God

I swung really high today in the playground. I didn’t even need anyone to push me. I told mummy about it and she said I was a big girl now but when I asked if I could watch big girl movies with her, she said no.

Love

Dawn

He had to laugh at that. He’d make a mental note to corrupt the young girl in near future.

Dear God,

While we were at the McDonalds, we saw one of Blaine’s friends. He asked him if I was his little sister. Blaine said no. He used to tell me I was adopted. Is that true? The doctor did say I was different.

Love

Dawn

He felt this ripping feeling inside of him. He regretted saying that about her but his mouth went against his heart. Blaine read on with tears glistening in his eyes. He never knew she felt that way. He knew he wasn’t exactly the ideal brother but was he really that bad?

Dear God,

Mummy took me to the doctors again today. He was talking to mummy really quietly so that I couldn’t hear but I did. He said I was born wrong.

Love

Dawn

He let out a shaky breath as he put the piece of paper down with a trembling hand. The letter may have been light but it felt like a ton of bricks. A few stray tears escaped as the cruel reality struck him.

He was a bad brother.

He might not have time to make up for it.

He was a bad brother.

She deserved better.

She might not have that long.

She had a bad brother.

He curled up in a ball and let the tears fall freely and stain his pale cheek. You know in action movies, walls close in on the person and eventually crush them. That’s what his body felt like, everything was closing in on him and he was in pain. And he didn’t know why. He wasn’t hurt, not physically but the pain was still there. It was hacking at his heart and he didn’t like it. For the first time in years he just lay there and cried. He let out all those pent up emotions and cried.