Dear God

Fate; what is inevitably predetermined.

Patricia sat with her arms embracing her child. It was peaceful but she knew that it wouldn’t last long. The doctors had already warned her that Dawn was beyond the ‘can-be-helped’ stage but they were trying their best. Her heart was already starting to give in; they didn’t know how long she’d last.

Duration; the time period of when something continues or exists.

She cried herself to sleep on many occasions, just wanting to know why her baby had to be the one that went through this. Her little girl was wonderful. She had a heart of gold yet it was that heart that was subjecting her to this.

Life; a period of animate existence of an individual.

Why did this all have to happen now? When everything was getting better. Her family was finally complete and now the glue that held it together was being taken away. It was like a sick, twisted joke that just wouldn’t end.

Death; the end of life.

[~*][~*][~*][~*]

“Hey Angel, you need anything?” Marcus asked, his voice hoarse.

“I’m okay daddy.” Dawn replied, meekly. This had been going on for a while now. Each family member had been coming in to visit as usual but from their face she could tell they were afraid it would be their last.

Dawn hated this. She hated seeing everyone around her so broken. She hated knowing that she was the reason for it.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

Marcus feebly smiled at her before reluctantly walking out and giving his children some privacy.

Dawn looked at Blaine expectantly, waiting for him to come talk to her but he didn’t show any signs of movement. He stood stiffly in the corner with his arms crossed over his chest and an angry expression on his face.

“Blaine?”

He refused to look at her.

“Blaine?”

Still nothing.

“Blaine?”

He suddenly snapped his head to her and practically marched towards her. Bending down so that he was in level with her he said fiercely,

“You’re going to be okay. Okay? You’re not going to die and you’re not going to leave me.” Unwillingly his voice started to crack at the end, “You’re going to be fine and after all of this is over, we’re going home. You understand?”

Tears threatened to leak out but Dawn still nodded softly, knowing that he was just trying to convince himself more than anything. They both knew what was eventually going to happen but sometimes ignorance really is bliss.

“Hey” She whispered, “If something really is going to happen to me then I don't want my last moments to be sad. I want it to be memorable.”

Blaine’s laughter contained no humor at all.

“I guess it’s a good thing we finished you’re bucket list then.” He deadpanned.

“Yeah, apart from number one though.”

“What was number one?”

“Being a miracle.” She mumbled under her breath.

His eyes suddenly went hard,

“Don’t.”

“What?” She wasn’t sure what she had said to him off.

“Don't talk like that okay?” He snapped but his face softened when he started speaking again,

“Dawn you’re my baby sister and an amazing one. I don’t know what I would have done without you or any of us for that matter. If it weren’t for you, I’d still be a jerk and I wouldn’t have Casey. I wouldn’t of had all this. Mum would be some crazy woman trying to obsess over me, wishing that I was a girl and Dad wouldn’t have anyone to spoil. You’re important to
us Dawn, you’re our miracle.”

This time the tears fell. She had already accepted her destiny and refused to cry over it but somehow Blaine managed to make her anyways. She wrapped her tiny arms around his torso, burying her head in the soft material.

“I love you, you annoying, little brat.”

“I love you too” She hiccupped. She was going to miss him so much; he was her oldest brother, her favourite person and her rock.

[~*][~*][~*][~*]

The afternoon of April 17th. It was warm, breezy day. Everyone was out and about, enjoying themselves. Except for the Quinton’s. It was the day when the final tragedy struck.

“DAWN! DAWN!” Blaine screamed, shaking her fragile little body. They had been in the middle of a conversation when she suddenly started coughing out blood.

“I-I don’t feel too good.”

“HELP! DOCTOR!”

Everything just seemed to happen all at once. Blaine felt like the world was rushing past him as he stood still and watched but couldn’t do anything about it. He felt complete and utterly helpless at this moment. He could hear his Mum wail as they dragged Dawn to the operation room on the gurney and if he listened hard enough, he’d hear his Dad’s silent cries. The day they had all been dreading had finally come.

Waiting outside the operation room was painful. He felt like every tick the clock gave was a mocking slap to the face. He was out here while his dying sister was in there.

It was the longest moments of his life before a doctor finally came out. He spoke through his mask but the sympathy was still clear, “I’m sorry. We’ve tried our best. We can’t do anymore than this. We could keep going with the operation but it would be pointless. Her fate is now beyond us. We thought you’d rather like to spend her last moments together as a family. Please follow me.”

Marcus nodded his head stiffly and walked behind the doctor, as did his wife and son. The surgeons and nurses cleared out of the room, leaving them together with their raw emotions.
Silently all three members went and held Dawn in a tight embrace. All of them scared that if they let go then she’d disappear. The family didn't hold back, they all let out their sobs while never letting go. Each of their hearts broke along with Dawn’s.

“Mum, Dad? I love you guys. You were amazing parents. And Blaine? You’re definitely the coolest big brother ever. I just want you guys to know that and please don't take this too hard. I’d hate myself if you did. Please.”
“We love you too.” They all chorused out of sync with hoarse voices.

No one was sure how long it was but eventually and inevitably, the time came when Dawn finally closed her eyes for the last time but with a content smile. Her last moments were spent surrounded by the people she loved, what else could she have asked for?

Blaine could hear everyone around him but he wasn’t listening. It had been an hour since the incident and all the pain and all the sorrow was soon replaced with numbness. Suddenly, he just stopped caring. He disconnected himself with everyone, trying to soften the blow but nothing worked.

“Um, Uh-Mr. Quinton? Dawn Quinton’s brother?” An elderly female voice questioned. He nodded his head silently.

“Well, this is for you.”

He didn’t bother turning to face her.

“Your sister asked me to give this to you if anything happened to her.”

The nurse had finally sparked some interest. He slowly watched as she handed him a piece of folded paper. He blinked a couple of time not sure why she was giving him this or what it could be. He tucked it into his back pocket before returning to his mourning.

[~*][~*][~*][~*]

Dear Blaine,

I would’ve written a letter to God but since you’re reading this it means I’m already with him. First, I just want to say that you’re really not as sneaky as you think. I know you’ve been peeping at my letters and I just wanted to tell you for future reference, that most people don't really like that kind of stuff.

I’ve written a letter to Mum and Dad as well explaining this. I don’t want you guys to be upset. Be sad for a while but then move on. Mum says that when someone passes they become a star and watch down on you. Well I’m going to be doing that and I don’t want to see you guys depressed. I want you to be happy. I would feel terrible if you weren’t. You should know better than me that everything happens for a reason. Nothing’s your fault and you can’t blame yourself for anything in the past. What’s happened has happened and no one could’ve changed that. On the Brightside, I’m not sick anymore.

Also Blaine, I really like Casey. She’s perfect for you. The only reason I tried to not like her was because I didn’t want to loose my big brother but you really deserve her.

Can you promise me one thing though? Can you come talk to me on my birthdays? Or when you’re feeling down? Or before you get married? If anything big happens, just talk to me. I promise I’ll be listening.

Love always,

Dawn

P.S. I’m trusting you to take care of my teddies.

P.P.S I just thought of a better idea, give them to your kids. I want some part of me to be passed down.

Blaine let his tears fall onto the piece of paper as the car came to a halt. Casey helped him out and wrapped her arm around his waist, both of them ambling behind his parents. She gave him a peck on the cheek and squeezed his hand as, together, they walked to the one place he wished he’d never have to;

His sister’s funeral.