I Miss You, I'm So Sorry

The next morning Delilah woke up in a all too familiar room, Alex’s room. The first thing she noticed were the strong arms wrapped around her bare waist. Her eyes fluttered open to see Alex’s sleeping form laying next to her.

Her eyes scanned to room and she saw clothes that belonged to the both of them scattered around the room. Her mind finally started to work properly and she immediately remember what had happened to previous night.

‘Oh god no, not again!’ She thought. ‘I’m so stupid. Didn’t I learn anything from the last time I slept with a friend.’ She tried to wiggle out of Alex’s grip but he was t strong. Delilah pushed him away a little, but this only caused Alex to wake up. “Morning.” He grumbled, his eyes still closed, and pulled her even closer to his body. Delilah stared at him like he’d lost his mind. “Uhm, Alex? What are you doing?”

“Trying to sleep.” He muttered. “Seriously Alex. Get the fuck up.” She said, getting irritated. “Fine.” Alex let go of her and sat up. He blinked a few times and looked at Delilah before he gazed around the room. “What the…” He said loudly. “Wait last night actually happened?” “Uhm, yeah, why would you think it didn’t?” Delilah asked. Alex blushed bright red. “Well, it wouldn’t be the first time I dreamed…” He began, but Delilah caught him off. “Ugh, whatever Alex. Too much info.” She mumbled and wrapped the sheet around her body.

Delilah got dressed quickly. Alex jumped out of the bed and put on his boxers. “D, wait. Can we talk about this.” “I have to go Alex, I’m already late. Why don’t you come over around 2? I’ll probably will be back at two thirty. You know where to find the key.” She said and hurried out of the door.

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A couple of hours later Alex was at Delilah’s apartment. It was only 13.45 so he had at least 45 minutes before Delilah would be back. He plopped down on the couch and a song was forming in his head. Desperate not to forget it he ran to her room, looking for a piece of paper and a pen.

Suddenly a stack of papers caught his eye. It looked like a dossier from a therapist. Alex wondered why Delilah had her own dossier at her house, wasn’t that stuff only for the therapist. He looked at the dossier and saw it was from her therapist back in Seattle. He was about to but the document back when the name caught his eye.

Lily Maria Johnson

Alex froze. Lily’s dossier? Why would Delilah have Lily’s dossier? He opened it. The first thing he saw was a report of one of Lily’s sessions. He never knew that she’d been seeing a therapist. Then Alex saw the date and almost dropped the paper.

This can’t be right. He thought. The date was from only a year ago. How was that possible. Lily died two years ago. Alex pulled out the first piece of paper and started reading.

Lily’s P.O.V

One year ago

I was sitting across from my therapist, Mr. Young, who had a laptop in front of him, ready to type down everything I said, which was not much. It was my third session and I still haven’t told him my story, just bits and pieces. I looked at the clock and saw only ten minutes had passed since I got here. I turned slightly so I was facing the window. I stared out of the window for a few minutes, the room dead silent.

I took a deep breath and made a decision, today was the day, today I was finally gonna tell someone the whole story. I started talking, but didn’t look at Mr. Young, I just kept looking out of the window.

“I never had an easy childhood. My mom walked out on my dad and I when I was ten, she left us for another man. She just disappeared one day and I never saw or heard from her again. My dad got really depressed and took it out on me. He hit me, called me names, told me I was no good. Eventually I started to believe him.

I had a few friends, 4 boys and a girl, I was the closest to Alex, we’d been friends ever since we were little I had falling in love with him. I never told him that, afraid he might not feel the same.

He found out about the abuse and told me he would protect me, that he would never hurt me. I trusted him, he was my rock, the only person in the whole world I would trust with my life.”

I turned a little to see Mr. Young typing and nodding his head. I looked back at the window and continued.

“This one night at a party before our sophomore year in high school we got a little drunk and ended up in bed together. It was my first time, but I never regretted it.

When I woke up the next morning he was gone. It should have surprise me, I mean it was Alex Gaskarth, famous for his one night stands, but it did. I never thought he would do that to me, I knew there had to be a good explanation.

God was I wrong, Monday at school Alex told me I meant nothing, that I was just a casual fuck. He broke me, broke my heart.

I never felt so betrayed, hurt and humiliated. I ran back home and… well I already told you that part.” I shuddered at the thought. “Alex found me and called an ambulance. They got me to the hospital in time and I was fine really, physically at least.

After Alex did I just wanted to get out of there, leave and never come back, start over. My aunt, who was a doctor at the hospital was the only relative I had, that lived close, that cared about me. I told her what happened and how desperate I was to got out of there. She understood and helped me fake my own dead. Telling everyone I killed myself and that the ambulance was too late.

I went to life with my grandparents. I went numb for months, until I discovered I was pregnant. I managed to get my act together actually looking forward to being a mom. I hated Alex so much, but I couldn’t hate my baby, our baby.

I gave birth to a beautiful babygirl 9 months later, I named her Alexandra Rose, ‘Ally’ for short.”

I stopped talking and finally looked at Mr. Young, he’d stopped typing and was looking at me intensely. A couple of tears escaped my eyes.

“She died only hours after her birth. I remember holding her, she was so perfect, even when she wasn’t breathing anymore. “

Alex stopped reading after that, not sure how much he could take. He looked back in the file and found a picture. It was Lily, laying in a hospital bed, holding Ally.

Alex put everything back, tears streaming down his cheeks, not from sadness, but from anger. He was angry, furious even at Delilah.

Lily was alive, she hadn’t died and Delilah had known all along. She had made him tell her all the horrible things he’d done while she knew Lily was still alive. Maybe she even knew where Lily was right now.

Suddenly the front door opened and Alex heard Delilah’s voice. “Alex? You’re here?” He stormed out of the bedroom. “Where is she? Where the hell is Lily?” He screamed. He grabbed Delilah’s arm and pulled her closer. “Answer me dammit! You knew she’s still alive all along. Now tell me where she is.” Alex hissed.

Delilah’s eyes were wide with fear. “How…What…” She stuttered and Alex held up the file. He let go of her and took a step back, a look of pure hatred in his eyes.

“Alex please.” She begged, tears in her eyes. “Let me….” But before she could finish her sentence she collapsed on the floor.