I Miss You, I'm So Sorry

Lily stood in her kitchen, completely shocked by Alex outburst. She blinked a few times to keep her tears from falling. Why didn’t he understand? She got he didn’t want to be the one to tell their friends, but was it so hard for him to understand that she didn’t want to be that person either?

She returned to the living room and noticed that people were staring at her. “What?” She whispered, sounding incredibly tired. “Alex just ran off.” Jack said. “What happened?”

“Nothing.” Lily smiled weakly. “We just had a little disagreement, nothing big, we’ll be fine guys.” She tried to wave it away. The guys nodded, but Chris didn’t seem convinced. “Lil, that didn’t look like nothing, Alex seemed pretty upset.” She sat down next to her best friend. “You can tell us anything, you know that right?”

“Dammit Christina! I said it was fine! Stop pushing me.” Lily snapped. She stood up, to quickly apparently, because she felt lightheaded for a second. She staggered and almost fell back on the couch. Luckily Zack was in time to catch her before she fell.

“Wow Lily, easy there, you’re okay.” He asked, worry clearly audible in his voice. “Yeah, I’m good. Guess I got up to quickly.” Lily mumbled. Zack let go off her and she was able to stand for a few seconds before her vision started blurring and breathing got very difficult.

“Lily, you sure you’re okay?” Zack ask. “Yeah, I’m….” But before she could finish her sentence Lily collapsed on the floor.

Every single person in the room froze for a second. Then everyone was moving. Chris was trying to wake Lily up, Jack was trying to calm Chris down, Rian was checking Lily’s breathing and Zack was calling an ambulance.

“She’s not breathing!” Rian yelled. “Tell them to hurry.” The last part directed at Zack.
Luckily the ambulance arrived quickly and Lily was taken to the hospital, leaving the four friends behind. “Come on, we have to go to the hospital.” Jack said, and pulled Chris to his car. Rian and Zack followed in their own cars.

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“Our friend, Lily, Lily Johnson!” Chris demanded. “Where is she?” The girl behind the counter have her the room number, slightly shocked by the aggressive 18 year old in front of her. “Room 234.” She stammered and Chris sprinted to the stairs, Jack, Rian and Zack closely behind her.

When they arrived the doctor just came out of the room. “How is she? What’s wrong with her?” Chris asked. The doctor turned around to the group of teenagers. “I’m sorry, who are you?” “We’re friends of Lily.” Rian explained. “How is she?” “She’s stable. She’s sleeping now, but you can go see her for a minute if you want, but only two persons at the same time.”

They nodded. “Yeah sure, but what’s wrong with her?” “I’m sorry, I can only discuss these things with family members.” Rian quickly explain Lily had no family, the doctor checked a couple of papers and nodded. “Alright then. In short, your friend is very sick. She has a heart condition, probably caused by her depression. Her heart is very weak, we did what we could but if she doesn’t get a transplant we fear for the worst.”

A loud thud interrupted the doctors explanation. The three boys turned around to see Chris laying on the floor. “Oh god, she fainted!” Jack exclaimed and hurried to his girlfriend’s side.

Christina woke up almost immediately. She stared at her boyfriend. “Jack? This is not true, right? Lily can’t be dying. We just got her back.” She sobbed. Jack guided her to one of the benches and tried to comfort her.

It was dead quiet in the hallway as no one said a word. Jack was the one to break the silence. “Someone should call Alex.”

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After storming out Alex had been wandering around town. He regretted blowing up on Lily, but he needed to be alone for now. He couldn’t really wrap his head around the fact he finally had the love of his life back and now that she was finally his, she was going to leave him again, this time for good.

Trying to get lost in the cold Baltimore streets, so he wouldn’t have to deal with everything, he softly started singing to himself. It was a new song, something he’d been working on, called ‘Remembering Sunday.’

“…..I’m gonna ask her to marry me….” He whispered softly to himself. It was true, even though they were both very young, Alex knew they didn’t have much time left. He really did want to marry Lily, he wanted her to be his, officially, before they run out of time.

Absentmindedly he headed in the direction of the jewelry store. Thirty minutes later he came back outside with a ring in his pocket. It was beautiful, but simple and unmistakably an engagement ring.

Happily he headed back to Lily’s apartment, getting more confided with each step he took. About two blocks from Lily’s apartment his phone went off. “Hello?” “Alex? Thank god. You have to come to the hospital.” Alex heart stopped. “H-Hospital?” He choked out. “Yes. It’s Lily, she….” But before Jack could finish Alex had hung up and was sprinting back home to get his car.

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“What happened?” Alex demanded when he saw his four closest friends in the hallway. “She suddenly just…. collapsed.” Jack explained. “Is she okay?” “The doctors say she’s okay for now. He explained us what’s wrong with her.” “He told you didn’t he? That she’s dying?” Alex concluded.

Christina’s head snapped up. “You knew!?” She screeched. “You knew she’s dying and you didn’t tell!?” She was about to attack Alex, but Jack and Zack stopped her. “She didn’t want to tell you.” Alex mumbled and looked at the floor. “She couldn’t. She couldn’t tell you guys she was dying when you just got her back.”

Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder. “Go see her, go be with your girlfriend.” Rian said. Alex nodded and went into the room.

Lily looked so small in the big white bed. Her eyes were closed and the heart monitor next to her was beeping rhythmically. Alex sat on a chair next to the bed and buried his head in his hand, letting his tears slip. “I’m sorry Lily, I’m so sorry.” He whispered.

Out of nowhere the beeping of the machine got louder and quicker. Alex panicked. “Doctor! Nurse! Someone! HELP!” He screamed. Seconds later a doctor and a couple of nurses hurried into the room.

Alex was shooed out of the room, the last thing he saw before the door closed was the flat line on the heart monitor.