I Miss You, I'm So Sorry

Delilah parked her car in front of the small apartment building she lived in. And when I say small I mean small, since there were only 4 apartments, hers being the top one, number 4. She unlocked the door and looked around.

It was small, just big enough for one, maybe two people. When you stepped in you entered the living room, a bar was the only thing that separated the living room from the small open kitchen. The right wall of the living room was one big window, the sun peaking through the closed, white curtains. On the left there were two doors, one leading to Delilah’s bedroom the other one to the bathroom.

She had unpack most of her things when she’d arrived in Baltimore a few days ago, but had been too busy with finding a job to finish unpacking.

Delilah threw her schoolbag on the couch and went to her bedroom to change. She loved her bedroom, it was big, really big for such a small place, her double bed was against the right wall, her dresser and desk on the opposite side of the room. The walls were white, except for the one where her bed was, that one was a very dark purple. The whole room was purple, black and white, three of her favorite colors.

She quickly changed into a pair of black skinnies and a simple white t-shirt, leaving on her bracelets, and drove to the small bookstore in the centre of town. She was lucky to get this job, she loved books and the owner was an old lady who lived above it and occasionally came down the check how things were going. It was only her third day of work, but the owner, Mrs. Carter, trusted Delilah enough to leave everything to her. According to her Delilah looked like a ‘responsible and trustworthy young lady’ who was smart enough to handle and old bookstore.

Even though it was a store people used it almost like a library, they sat in the big comfy chairs next to the little fireplace in the back of the store or enjoyed a cup of coffee in the small space in the front of the shop that Mrs. Carter furnished as a café/coffee shop kinda thingy. The place wasn’t that well known and was mostly visited by regulars.

It was really quiet in the shop, only two people who were having a coffee and chatting with each other about their plans for the weekend. Delilah, who was behind the counter, turned around to make herself a cup of coffee and opened her English textbook, since it wasn’t very busy she figure she could maybe try to do some homework.

“Hey.” A voice from behind her spoke, causing her to jump a little. “Can I have a coffee please?” She turned around to see….

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Alex just stood dumbfound in the school’s parking lot for a second, watching Delilah drive away. Had she really just rejected him? He shook his head, trying to forget what just happened and went home himself.

Not feeling like doing homework, he didn’t really see the point of it, it’s not like he was going to college, his future was the band, Alex decided to catch up on some sleep since he hadn’t gotten much over the weekend due to the many party’s he’d been to.

He tossed his backpack in a corner and collapsed on the bed.

Alex opened his eyes and saw he was no longer in his room, he was laying in a big, sunny, grassy field. He got up and walked around. “Alex!” He heard someone yell, he turned around, but didn’t see anyone. “Alex.” He heard again and he spun around.

Then he saw her, a girl, about sixteen years old. She had long wavy light blond hair that came to her waist, she was wearing a light pink summer dress and no shoes. She smiled at him. “Lily?” He choked out. He stared at his former best friend and knew he was dreaming, there was no other explanation, she was dead after all. “Hi Alex.” She giggled and hit behind her hair.

He took a few steps toward her, but with every step he took she backed away, still giggling. “Lily. I missed you.” He spoke softly. She brushed her hair out of her face and gave him her biggest smile. ‘I miss you too Alex.” Her bright green eyes sparkling.

Alex had always loved her eyes, they were bright green and always seemed to sparkly, no matter she was happy or sad. He tried to walk over to her again and this time she stayed in one place. He reached for her hand, but she pulled away the last second and ran away. He beautiful laugh echoed through the air.

Alex blinked a few times. “Catch me if you can.” She yelled teasingly over her shoulder. He didn’t hesitated and sprinted after her. But every time he got close she sprinted away again. Still smiling and giggling.

Then she stopped, Alex a few feet away from her. “Why can’t I touch you?” He asked. Her face saddened. “Because this is a dream Alex. It’s not real.” She was still smiling, but it was a sad smile that almost broke Alex heart again.

Suddenly the whole dream changed. Alex looked at the sky and saw that the sun had disappeared, it got darker and dark clouds were forming, a strong wind was blowing. He looked back at Lily who wasn’t smiling anymore, she looked sad and almost….. angry. She was crying and pointed at him. “It’s your fault! You did this to me Alex. It’s your fault I’m dead. You killed me!” She screamed and sank to her knees, sobbing.

Alex ran over to her as she was sitting in the grass, she didn’t look up at him. Suddenly everything changed, his dream had transformed into his worst nightmare. Alex looked at the scene in front of him, they weren’t in the field any longer. He was in front of a door, not just any door, a bedroom door, her bedroom.

He didn’t want to open it, know what he would see. But no matter how much he struggled it was like his body was working on its own. His hand reached for the doorknob, slowly twisting it open…….

Alex startled awake, breathing heavily, he looked around and saw he was back in his room. He got up from the bed and walked over to the bathroom, splashing some cold water in his face. His hands resting on the sink as he looked at himself in the mirror. His brown hair was even messier than usual and his chocolate brown eyes wide with shock and fear.

He took a few deep breath and trying to calm himself. It wasn’t the first time he’d had that dream, but the last time had been almost one and a half year ago.

He went back to his room and picked up a framed picture from his desk. It was a picture of him and Lily, taken a few days before she……died. He sat down on the bed, photo in his hand, he stared at it. It had been two years since she died, but he still missed her every single day.

After a while he sat the picture back on the desk, grabbed his notebook and a few pens and headed out. He wanted to finished the lyrics he was working on and he went to the only place in town where, except for his room, he actually got something done.

After 10 minutes he arrived at the book/coffee shop. He went to the counter to order his usually coffee. “Hi.” He said to the girl, who’s back was facing him. “Can I have a coffee please?” He asked. The girl turned around, her eyes widened as she realized who he was. “What the hell are you doing here?” Delilah asked.