I Miss You, I'm So Sorry

Two weeks passed and Alex had tried everything he could think of to become friends with Delilah. But it was no use, she ignored him, didn’t talk to him, it was like he didn’t exist to her. Delilah had become close friends with Christina and the rest of the guys. But even when they were together as a group Delilah stayed as far away from Alex as possible.

Alex was currently sitting in the school library, working on a song instead of doing homework. “Hey Alex!” He looked up to see Jack walking towards him. “What’s up bro, you look kinda depressed.” Alex sighed. “I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to be friends with Delilah, but she acts like I don’t exists. It’s so fucking frustrating!” Jack sat down on the table instead of a chair. “Well, maybe if you’d stop hitting on her and actually tried to think of her as a friend instead of some girl you can fuck, she would stop ignoring you.” “What!? I tried that.” Alex protested. Jack laughed. “Face it Al, you’ve been treating her like every other girl in this school. She strongly dislikes you, and your behavior is making it worse.” Jack hopped of the table and went to find Christina and Delilah.

It was lunch time and Alex decided to try to talk to Delilah again. When he entered the cafeteria everyone was already sitting at their regular table. He took a seat next to Rian and started to eat while listening to the conversations that were going on at the table. He caught a little of Chris and Delilah’s conversation, Delilah was complaining about and English paper and how nervous she was for their next class, music, they had to sing a song and she was worried she would screw up.

“I’m sure you’ll do great.” Alex interrupted. Delilah turned to face him and for a second he thought she was mad again, but she smiled a little. “Thanks Alex.” And continued her conversation with Christina.

The bell rang, announcing the end of lunch time and everyone went their separate ways. Alex caught up with Delilah in the hallway. “Hey.” He greeted. “Hi Alex.” She kept walking. “So, you’re still nervous?” “Yeah, I hate singing in front of people.” They didn’t say anything else until they reached the music room. Delilah stopped in front of the door. “I’m not going, can you tell the teacher I’m sick?” She was about to turn around, but Alex stopped her. “Oh come on, it won’t be that bad. I’m sure there are people who are way worse than you.” He said and pushed her into the room.

They took a seat next to each other and Delilah was glaring daggers at Alex. The teacher, Mr. Robinson, motioned the class to be quiet. “So. has everyone a song for today?” Almost everyone nodded. The assignment was to pick out o song that either described your life in some way or the way you felt. “Okay, I’m really looking forward to hear what songs you guys picked. When I call your name you come up to the front, tell us the name of the song and why you picked it. Let see, who’s going first.” Several hands went up in the air, why Delilah tried to hide behind a book. “Ah, Mrs. Johnson, would you do us the honor?” Delilah slowly got up and grumbled a few not so nice words to her teacher under her breath. “Why song did you choose and why?”

Delilah took a deep breath and tried to keep her voice calm. “Behind these hazel eyes by Kelly Clarkson, because, well, if you just ignore the fact I have green eyes, that song basically describes me and my life right now.” She smiled weakly, closed her eyes and started to sing.

Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything it felt so right
Unbreakable like nothing could go wrong

Now I can't breathe
No I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am
Once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it
Can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright for once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together but so broken up inside

Cause I can't breathe
No I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
Here I am
Once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it
Can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Just seeing you it kills me now
No I don't cry
On the outside anymore
Here I am
Once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it
Can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes (2x)

Alex couldn’t help but stare at her, she was amazing. It was like the song she was singing was directed to someone in particular, but Alex couldn’t think of anyone since Delilah had only been here for a few weeks. Delilah finished the song and everyone started clapping. She opened her eyes, blushing madly, and went back to her seat. “Thank you Mrs. Johnson, that was really good, you have a real talent.” Mr. Robinson said and looked around the room for his next victim.

“You were amazing.” Alex whispered to Delilah. She smiled back, a real smile this time. “Thanks.” She turned around, but that small smile stayed on her lips for the rest of the class.
Alex spent the rest of the class trying to figure out what she’d meant with the song describing her life. But he came up blank and decided to ask her later, already knowing he probably wouldn’t get an answer.

He stopped her after class. “Hey Delilah.” She turned to face him. “Yes Alex?” “Why do you ignore me? I’m just trying to be friends.” She shook her head. “No Alex you’re not. You act like you wanna go out with me, not be my friend. And besides, I’m not friends with someone just because my therapist tells me to.” “Then how? Please tell me what I should do.”Alex practically begged. “You’re a smart guy, you’ll figure it out.” Delilah winks and disappears in the crowd.

Alex ran off to find the person he know could help him. “Christina! Chris! Christina wait!” Christina turns around to see Alex running towards her, yelling her name and pushing people aside. “What Alex?” “I…I need your help.” “With what?” “To be friends with Delilah.” Christina looked at him like he was crazy. “With D? Alex seriously, why are you trying so hard to be friends with her?” “I-I…” He stutters. “Well?” Alex gave her a sheepish look and quickly explains.

After hesitating for a second Christina nods. “Alright, I’ll help you.” Alex hugs her. “Thanks Chris.” She laughs as he puts her down “Okay, it’s simple just do what I say and you should be fine. You wanna be her friend? Stop flirting! Second, stop being such a goddamn manwhore and third actually be a friend. Hang out, be interested in what she says, help her with something, I don’t know, just think of her as one of the guys or like Li….” Alex heart stopped for a second when he heard her name. Christina sees the look in Alex’s eyes. “I’m sorry Al, I shouldn’t have said that.” “It’s cool, I mean we can’t keep acting like she never existed, we should be able to say her name, right?” The question was more to himself than to Christina. “I know Alex, but still…. Anyways, just do what I told you and you’ll be fine.” And with that she went to her next class, leaving Alex alone in the deserted hallway.

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School ended and Delilah was next to her car, waiting for Jack and Chris, who she had to drop off at Jack’s house. Looking for her sunglasses she felt a tap on her shoulder. “Hey D!” She turns around to look at an very happy Alex. “Oh hi Alex, you seem happy.” “I am.” He says and hops on the hood of the car. “I asked Christina for help.” Delilah couldn’t help but smile a little at the older boys behavior. “So that means you figure out how to be friends?” She chuckles. “Yep.” He smirked, popping the P. “That’s great, please tell.” “Well she told me to stop flirting and think of you as one of the guys.” He told her proudly. Delilah burst out laughing. “Oh Alex, you really had to ask that to someone? You really couldn’t come up with that yourself?” Alex places a hand over his heart, feigning hurt. “How dare you laugh at me.” He jokes and starts laughing too. “You’re right, I’m such an idiot, everyone could have come up with that.” Delilah finally stops laughing. “Yeah you are.” She smiles. “I like this Alex, the one that is actually nice and kinda funny and doesn’t flirt the whole time.” “Does this mean you’re gonna stop ignoring me?” He questions. “If you stop acting like a douche, like you’re doing now, than yes, I’m gonna stop ignoring you.” Before Alex can reply Jack and Christina arrived at the car. “Hey guys. Looks like things are better between you two, I mean you didn’t kill each other.” Jack observes. “Haha, very funny Jack.” Delilah says as she get in the car. She’s about to drive away, but Alex stops her. “Hey you wanna hang out sometimes?”

Delilah’s smiles falters. “Don’t push your luck Gaskarth.” She begins, but seeing the look on Alex’s she felt a little bad. “But I’ll see you later at the coffee shop I guess.” Alex always came there on Fridays after school. “I mean you always come so, you know…. See you later than.” And she drives off, wondering if she was ready to let Alex Gaskarth into her life.