Cold as Ice

The next morning, Ben and I were the only ones awake. I had showered, gotten dressed and done my hair, and was standing at the stove, making grilled cheese sandwiches for the two of us. Bailey and Jen were still fast asleep. They could sleep all day if you let them; but I hadn't slept at all the night before. Not even for a minute. I was up worrying about the whole Lucille thing; but mainly about my Dad. If it was true that Lucille was sneaking around with Johnny's Dad, Victor, I felt bad for him.

Mom died the August before my Freshman year, which hit us all like a massive tidal wave that we were not emotionally prepared for, and left us bobbing in its wake as we struggled to tread the icy water. I had hoped that Dad would find love again - because it's what Mom would have wanted for him - and when Lucille came along, I was glad for him. But now this? I wondered just what exactly was going through her head while she laughed and held Vic's hand instead of my Dad's. I wondered if she realized how stupid and selfish it was.

Ash would be so pissed if he found out.

I put a grilled cheese sandwich on a plate and cut the crust off for Ben. He smiled up at me with his gap-toothed grin and began devouring the sandwich. How easy it was to be a seven year old. Sometimes I really wished I could go back to that age.

As the next grilled cheese hissed in the pan, Ben turned to me with crumbs on his lips and a milk mustache. "Avery?"

"Yeah, Buddy?" I flipped the grilled cheese, looking back over my shoulder at him.

"Is Johnny gonna come and pick you up?" He poked his tongue out to sweep the crumbs away, but the milk mustache remained untouched.

I chuckled. "He should be here soon. Why?"

"Because Johnny's cool. I want to be a ladies' man like him when I get bigger. He said I'm going to be a real Mack Daddy... whatever that is." Ben said proudly, puffing out his skinny chest under his race car pajamas.

"I am sure you will be." I shook my head and continued tending to my grilled cheese.

"Avery, is Johnny your boyfriend?" He asked.

I stared at the wall for a second before looking over my shoulder again. "Well... yeah, he is."

"Are you madly in love with him?"

"Madly in love with him?" I bit my lip. I knew he was only seven and asking an innocent question - and he didn't really understand love and all its complications, but the question made my stomach tighten. "I don't know yet, Ben."

"Well," he chewed on a big mouthful of grilled cheese and washed it down with the last of his milk - which thickened his mustache. "If you're not in love with him, I'll always be here waiting."

I smiled, shaking my head at him. "Thanks, Ben. I'm glad I have you."

"Anytime, pretty mama."

A deeper voice joined our conversation. "Kid, did anyone ever tell you that it's against the rules to hit on a girl if she is the girlfriend of your fellow Casanova?"

I whirled around to bump into Johnny's muscular chest. "Oh hi, you're early."

"I know." He ran his eyes all over me with a grin on his lips before making eye contact. I felt small and fragile, wrapped in his big arms and held by his perfect blue stare. "Did you sleep at all?" He asked, stroking my cheek with his thumb. "You look drained."

"I was worried. Plus, we watched scary movies." I stretched up to kiss the tip of his nose. "Did you sleep?"

"Not a lot, but I wasn't worrying. Kyle just got Banjo-Kazooie and it was calling my name." He pulled me close and brushed my hair over my ear, laying my head on his shoulder. "You, on the other hand, worry too much."

"I know I do." I said, my voice muffled by his plain red hoodie.

"Hey, Ben!" That was Kyle, who had probably come in behind Johnny. I heard him pull up a chair at the kitchen table. "Nice 'stache,"

Ben giggled. "Thanks, I'm gonna grow a goatee."

"I think your grilled cheese is burning, Doll." said Johnny. He took the spatula from my hand and flipped the sandwich over in the frying pan.

"I'm not hungry anyway." I said. "You can have it."

"I'll take it." said Kyle, coming over and taking the grilled cheese right off of the stove. "You two can go. I'll chill here with Ben until the girls wake up."

"Thanks, Bro." Johnny said, kissing the top of my head before leading me out of the kitchen. "Later, Ben."

"Bye, guys." said Ben, waving as we left. "Thanks for making me breakfast, Avery!"

"You're welcome!" I sang, and pulled on my boots. Johnny put my coat on for me and brought me out to his car. It wasn't cold, but it wasn't exactly warm. The sky was a miserable blended colour that threatened to rain.

I sat in the car and watched out the window as we cruised along the long and empty road leading to Johnny's house. "Where are we going?" I asked. "I thought you didn't want to go home and face your Dad."

"We're not going to my house." He said, keeping his eyes on the road, but giving me a smirk. "I have something to show you."

"Something to show me?" I raised an eyebrow. "And what's this?"

"You'll see later. Close your eyes, no peeking." He covered my face with his hand.

Laughing, I pushed it away and kept my eyes squeezed tight. "I won't peek, I promise."

I kept them shut as we kept driving, and suddenly Johnny slowed to a stop. He opened my door for me and picked me up in a piggy-back. I heard snow crunching under his boots, then grass, and the snapping of twigs.

"Hang on tight." He said, and the next thing I knew, he was climbing. I locked my limbs tightly around him, clinging for dear life. The climb only lasted a few seconds, and I was back on my feet again. "Okay, open,"

I opened my eyes. We were standing in a treehouse, but not just any old treehouse. It was the treehouse that we had built along with Ash, my Dad, and Vic, when I was in the fourth grade. I remembered spending a lot of time up here in the summer, playing Barbies with Johnny's sister and reading comic books with the boys. I was amazed that it was still standing. I hadn't been there in years. In fact, I had forgotten all about it until now.

"How is this thing not falling apart?" I asked, running my fingertips over the rough walls. In permanent marker I had signed my name, and over that in red spray paint, Johnny had signed his - purposely to cover mine up and make me mad.

"I check up on it every so often, just to make sure it's still around." He put his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, looking around the room. "Sometimes I sleep out here, just because I miss it."

"Wouldn't it be a little cold?" I asked.

"Not in the summer," he picked up an old baseball glove and turned it over in his hands. "I miss being a kid sometimes."

"I was just thinking about that earlier." I sat down on an old rocking chair. "Things used to be so much easier."

"Tell me about it." He sighed, shaking his head, and tossed the glove onto a table built into the wall.

"So, why did you bring me here?"

"I figured you'd forgotten about it, and there's some of your old stuff in here that I thought you might want to see." He bent down and pried open one of the floorboards, removing a small box before closing the floor back up. He stood and passed it to me, leaning against the wall beside me. Even slouching, his head was only two inches from touching the roof.

I opened the box to find pictures and pieces of paper with writing on them. As I removed them, I found my favourite Barbie doll. Teacher Barbie, only with her hair cut into a short bob. I remembered taking her outside and playing in the field a long, long time ago. I got dirt and burrs in her hair, and I cried because I couldn't get them out. Even my Dad couldn't do it. So Johnny took some scissors and cut the dirt out of her hair for me.

"I remember you cried because she was your favourite. So I cut her hair to shut you up." Johnny laughed, taking the doll from me. She looked so out of place in his massive hands.

The papers and pictures were mostly drawings from school. Pictures of my family drawn with disproportionate bodies out of crayons. The pictures even included Vic, Liza, Johnny, and Alexa. Johnny was always drawn with the green crayon and the purple crayon, my least favourite colours, because I really didn't like him.

"I love my hair in those pictures." He said.

"And I hated you." I said with a laugh, putting the papers and my Barbie back in the box and handing it to Johnny. "That's why it was purple, you know."

"How nice," he said, helping me out of the chair and pulling me into his arms. "I think I would look gorgeous with purple hair and green skin, don't you?"

I wrinkled my nose. "No, I don't think you would. I like your hair and skin just the way they are." Running my fingers through his hair, I pulled his gorgeous head down to kiss him. He tasted like minty mouthwash and cinnamon hearts - better than any boy I had ever kissed.

There was a knock.

My shoulders dropped, and I pulled away from Johnny enough to turn my head and look at the doorway. Vic was halfway up the ladder, with his arms resting on the floor of the treehouse. He had one dark eyebrow raised and half a smile on his lips. He and Johnny looked all too alike for father and son. "Hello, children."

"Hi, Vic." I said, removing my arms from Johnny's neck. There was something about Victor Frost when he was in his uniform that automatically commanded respect.

Johnny's body tensed. "What do you want, Dad?"

"I saw you drive back here and I wanted to come see the treehouse." He looked around. "It's amazing that it hasn't rotted and caved in."

"I've been rebuilding it." said Johnny.

"Oh, that's right," their voices were almost matching in pitch. "Anyway, I see I've interrupted something, and I'm going to be late for my shift. I'll be home late tonight, Johnny, just so you know."

"Uh huh," Johnny replied in a distant tone.

I squeezed his shoulder. "Bye, Vic."

He lifted his hand in a wave before disappearing down the ladder.

Johnny watched his father walk across the field and drive away in his police car with narrowed eyes. He shook his head and looked down at me, and I noticed that his jaw was tight. "I can't believe him."

"Johnny, calm down. Don't make it a bigger deal than it really is."

His eyebrows went up. "Did you notice the hickey on his neck? I wonder who he got it from."

"Johnny," I said softly, massaging his hard shoulders, "please."

Sighing, he closed his eyes. He took his hands out of my back pockets and held me at the waist. "Sugar, I'm sorry this is happening."

"Don't be sorry. For one, we don't even know for sure that they're cheating. And even if they were, it's not your responsibility to apologize. Okay? We just need to let this go, and wait and see what happens. We can't meddle."

"But what if I want to meddle? I don't want to just stand by and let this happen."

"Maybe what you saw last night was just a one-time thing. You don't know for sure what was actually going on. Maybe it was the complete opposite of what you thought." I patted his cheek. "Don't try and play hero. They're adults."

His eyebrows went together. He opened his eyes and looked down at me, and a smile curved his lips. "You know, that's what I really love about you."

"What is?" I tilted my head.

"You always know what to say. I don't know what I would do without you sometimes." He kissed my forehead, and took my hand. "Now, let's go get some breakfast."

As if on cue, my stomach growled. "That sounds perfect."

We drove to a small restaurant in the middle of downtown and got a table for two by a window. Johnny ordered a Lumberjack Special, which consisted of more food than I could eat in a whole day, and I ordered bacon, eggs and toast.

The waitress was old and had light, feathery white hair and soulful green eyes. When she brought us our plates, she smiled at me and gently touched a strand of my hair. "You know, when I was younger, I had long, dark hair and fair skin just like yours. I wasn't nearly as beautiful, though." She turned her smile to Johnny. "You better keep her around, young man. And take good care of her."

"I will." He returned the smile and winked at me. "I promise."

As the waitress left, Johnny and I ate our breakfast in silence. With most guys, I would have felt pressured to keep up a conversation, but with Johnny, it was almost like we could speak with our eyes. This made me begin to think about what Ben asked me about being madly in love with Johnny.

I knew I cared a lot about him. But did that mean I loved him?

I guess I'd just have to wait and see.