Breathe

Matt and I went up to Tom’s room; I went to my drawers to grab pajamas. I grabbed some plaid pants and a plain black v-neck. I went off to the bathroom down the hall to get changed quickly. I walked back into the room to find the television on with a movie ready to go in the DVD player and Matt taking off his sweater.

“I hope you don’t mind if I sleep in my boxers and shirt,” he chuckled taking off his pants slowly. I noticed the tattoos on his upper arm. They were nice, I stared for a moment.

“Not at all, Sea used to all the time,” I sighed; I remembered all the good memories with him, his dark skin and his thick Leeds accent. I pushed the thoughts away and walked over to Matt.

“Who?” Matt asked curiously.

I shook my head, “nobody, don’t worry about it Matt.”

“Oh,” he sighed before grabbing my hand and leading me to the bed. He pressed play on the remote and let me crawl over to the side against the wall. I managed to get under the soft blue comforter and Matt followed. “Love, you’re not underneath the sheets,” Matt chuckled.

“I don’t sleep under the sheets,” I giggled then leaned over to crack the window a bit. Cold air rushed in and I snuggled up against Matt. We didn’t pay too much attention to the movie. We cuddled and kissed for a while. I was getting used to his lips; they were soft and meshed perfectly with mine. Quickly in his warm embrace I fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning to children yelling outside, it was a lovely November morning. I struggled to free myself from Matt’s embrace, I moved and his grip tightened on me.

“No,” he groaned, “let me hold you more, baby.”

I blushed and nuzzled back down to him, his eyes opened to reveal those bright green eyes. I smiled stupidly and ran my thumb over his cheek. “Your bed hair is cute,” I giggled, “I like it.”

“You look so cute,” Matt kissed me slowly, “I wanna kiss you.”

“Do it,” I urged running my fingers through his soft hair. Matt pressed his lips softly to mine. I grinned and pressed my lips to his once again.

I did fancy Matt.

***

Oli sat slumped on the couch, it was December 13th. He flipped mindlessly through the channels on the television; I slowly walked and went down to sit beside him. He had been so angry lately, I couldn’t blame him, I’d be angry too if I was going through something like that.

“Tom says he might get out of rehab a week before Christmas,” Oli grumbled.

“You excited?” I asked softly.

“I said might. That doesn’t mean he’ll get out, Taylor. I can’t be excited when I know it won’t happen.”

“Oliver, they said for sure that he would be home for Christmas but would have to return at six. You’ll get to spend Christmas with your brother, at least.”

“Doesn’t mean anything anymore. I tried to help him before it got out of hand and he wouldn’t listen!” Oliver’s voice raised and I began to slide away from him.

“You cannot blame yourself from someone else’s actions,” I stated calmly looking at Oli.

“Oh yeah and why is that? He probably did it because of me!” Oliver stood up now yelling, a few feet away from me.

“Oliver it isn’t your fault for what he did!” I screamed. “Just like it wasn’t my fault my father committed suicide! You can blame yourself all you want, but it isn’t your fault! You didn’t hand him the drugs!” I turned away with tears filling my eyes, quickly I ran upstairs into the room I was staying in. Tom’s room.

The phone Carol bought me lay on the bed ringing; I wiped my eyes and sniffled before walking to pick it up. Matt’s icon showed up on the screen with his name.

“H-hello?” I stuttered sniffling.

“Baby, are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I sniffled and coughed a little.

“Want to go to the cinema later?”

“Sure, babe,” I quickly answered.

“I’ll be over in half an hour.”

“Alright, bye Matty.”

“Bye, love.”

I grabbed a pair of jeans off my floor, simple denim skinny jeans with lighter marks, and then I searched for a sweater. I found a grey Franklin Marshall one Matt left. His mom bought it for him and he never really cared for it. I slid that on over my tank and then walked to the bathroom to do my hair. It was slightly wavy since I had brushed out yesterdays curls. I turned on my flat iron and put hair protecting spray on my hair and began to straighten.

My hair was beginning to fade, I needed to go to a hair supply and pick up dye. Something I would need to call Sj about. I straightened out my hair and quickly applied makeup.

***

Matt and I saw Paranormal Activity 2 and we were now walking around town. “You look beautiful tonight,” this was the third time he said it tonight.

“You look mighty handsome tonight Matt,” I grinned as I tightened my grip on his hand.

“I like your hair straight, it’s pretty and long.”

“Thank you,” I murmured as I stood on my tippy toes to kiss him.

“I have a surprise for you soon, consider it an early Christmas gift,” he chuckled. I loved Matt’s laugh, it almost sounded accented and nobody else had a laugh like his.

“Ooh, sounds nice,” I winked at him.

I wasn’t sure if surprise was sex, and if it was, would I be ready with Matt? Was he the guy I wanted to give my virginity to?