Radio Love Song

Jenna's Point of View

I never thought it would come down to this. I told myself I would never let Jesse make me want to do this to myself. I told myself I would never let him make me feel like this was my only way out. Well, I did it. I took the least wanted way out. I left my family behind, I left my friends behind, and I left Gabe behind. All because of Jesse. I wandered around the apartment I shared with Jesse. I guess I'm having an out of body experience because in reality, I should be at the hospital since Jesse called 911. That's the only smart thing he's done in a long time because I really don't want to die.

"You don't have to." I heard from behind me. I turned around and came face to face with grandma.

"Grandma?"

"No, it’s Regis Philbin,” she said sarcastically. “It's not your time yet. You need to go back."

"I can't go back. I don't want to. I won't." I shook my head.

"People need you more than you know."

"No one needs me."

"I'm not so sure about that-"

"Don't say mom and dad need me."

"They do though."

"No they don't. They have Daniel and they have you know who. Daniel became something and her...well, you know how that is. Then there's me. I'm just there. I haven't done anything spectacular with my life. All I did was find the wrong guy to love."

"First of all, you're still their baby. You don't have to become something spectacular to impress them. You've already impressed them with your will to live, especially with Jesse."

"Grandma," I sighed. "I don't know anymore. I don't want to hurt anymore."

"After this, you won't hurt anymore."

"How do you know? All that will happen is I leave the hospital and go home with Jesse and everything starts over again."

"Sweetheart, you found your reason to live."

"What is it then? I have no reason."

"Yes you do. Just listen." I gave grandma an odd look since we were in an empty apartment. Then the weirdest thing happened, we were in Gabe's apartment all of a sudden. I looked at grandma with wide eyes. "Go on," she said and nodded her head. So I went to Gabe's room where he was. He was sitting on his bed with his guitar in his lap. He was writing in a notebook before he sat back up and started singing.

I’m not one for love songs. The way I’m living makes you feel like giving up but you don’t, and I want everything for you but disappointment. ‘Cause you’ve been left behind and the world has its shine, I would drop it on a dime for you.

I sat next to him on his bed and he stopped. He looked right at me but I knew he couldn't see me.

"You see, he's your reason." I looked up at grandma who was now standing in the room.

"Most of the time I think he's better off without me."

"Jenna, there are things about this boy that I know that you don't. You honestly have no clue how much you mean to him."

"If I mean that much to him, then why is there another girl?"

"He's doing it because you told him basically told him you didn't want him. You found a reason to push him away; a reason you didn't even agree with."

"I don't know. I just don't know."

"When he said he doesn't love her, he meant it. Whether you realize it or not, his heart is yours."

"Nu uh! If he knew me, he wouldn't trust me with it."

"Jenna, would you give yourself some credit? You loved an asshole like Jesse for so long!" I smirked at grandma. She had this blunt but quirky attitude when she was alive. She still has it now.

"Grandma-"

"Don't 'grandma' me. I've been watching you two long enough to know."

"You've been watching us?"

"Yes."

"So you saw...Grandma! Oh my God!"

"Oh don't worry. I didn't pay any attention to that." I could feel myself blush. "You're a grown woman. Get over it."

"I know." I reached over and touched Gabe's face. When I pulled my hand away, his hand went to that same spot. "He can feel me."

"Yeah, he can. You're strong when you're with him. That's why you need to go back."

Just then, Gabe's phone started to ring. He quickly answered it when he saw that it was my best friend.

"I'm leaving now," he said and hung up. "Oh Jenna, what did you do? If you leave me...just don't leave me." He looked in my direction. "I need you." He grabbed his purple hoody and rushed out of his apartment.

"Jenna, you better get going."

"But-"

"Go!"

"I love you, grandma," I said and ran after Gabe.

* * * * *

As Gabe drove to the hospital, thoughts kept running through his mind. He knew something was wrong. He kept getting a strange feeling. When Sharon called and told him that Jenna was in the hospital, he knew not to question why she was there. It would just be a waste of time and he could have used that time getting to the hospital. When he got to the hospital, Sharon and Travis were waiting with her family. For some reason, even Jesse was there but there was a police officer standing nearby.

"Hey, we don't know anything yet," Sharon said.

"What happened?" Gabe asked.

"Suicide attempt from what I understand."

"What? Why would she do that?"

"I don't know Gabe."

"What if she's...dead?"

"Why would you say that?"

"I was writing a song today, about her and I kept getting this weird feeling, like she was there."

"Gabe, you're freaking me out."

"Sorry. What's with the cop?"

"Oh, that's Officer Vana. Jenna's brother is in the process of getting a restraining order against Jesse right now so he's here to keep him away from her when she wakes up."

"Don't restraining orders take time?"

"Well, you can get emergency ones and on top of that, her brother is a detective so he knows plenty of judges. Some of them have met Jenna and they all love her so Daniel would have no problem getting one."

This was all starting to get over-whelming. I mean, the woman I'm in love with might be gone. The one and only woman I think I may want to spend the rest of my life with. I know it's soon to be saying that but it's true. If she can make it through a relationship with Jesse, then she surely can put up with my brilliant antics and my touring, Gabe thought to himself.

"Do you want to meet her family?" Sharon asked him.

"I guess so, sure." In reality, he wasn't ready to meet her parents. Gabe followed Sharon and Travis to the other side of the waiting room.

"This is Mr. and Mrs. Kent." He shook Mr. Kent's hand first and then Mrs. Kent's. "This is Gabe."

"I'm sorry but what's your relationship with Jenna?" Mr. Kent asked.

"He's the guy who's fucking her on the side," Jesse spat at them.

"Jesse, shut your mouth. Don't you dare talk about my daughter like that." Mrs. Kent scolded him. Mr. Kent was still staring at Gabe. He didn't know how to put it. He couldn't say that Jesse was right even though he was.

"I uh...Jenna and I are really good friends."

"Really good friends my ass!" They heard Jesse say. Mr. Kent stood up and motioned for Gabe to follow him. They walked outside. Great, here come 21 questions.

"What do you mean by good friends?"

Gabe ran his fingers through his hair. That’s a tough first question.

"Is it like Jesse says?"

"I wouldn't exactly put it like that..."

Mr. Kent's eyes went wide, "How would you put it then?" Gabe said nothing and just stared at him. "Just say it like it is."

"We only do what we do because we're in love. I have nothing but love and respect for your daughter. I've been trying to get her out of this relationship with Jesse since the day I met her. It's not so that I can have her, I just want her to be safe. She doesn't deserve to be treated that way."

After a few more minutes of talking, the two men went back inside. Mr. Kent went back by his wife while Gabe went back by Sharon and Travis.

"How'd it go?" Travis asked.

"He pretty much interrogated me."

"Well, at least you know why he did."

"Yeah, I know."

After what seemed like a lifetime, a doctor finally came out to tell them about Jenna.