Once Upon A Time In The Year 2011...
Sleeping Beauty
Once upon a time...
A rich and famous couple gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, named Sleeping Beauty, in the faraway kingdom known as Hollywood. She was well-known across the land because of her parents fame, and 3 good celebrity journalists, named Blue Fairy, Red Fairy and Green Fairy, began publishing lovely predictions for the baby's life. The Red Fairy predicted she'd have beautiful looks, taken after her mother. The Green Fairy wrote that she'd be a beautiful singer, based on her father's talent. However, before the Blue Fairy could publish what she hoped for the baby, a sleazy bad-tempered journalist named The Wicked Witch published a story on how Sleeping Beauty would die from alcohol overdose before the age of 16, due to the pressure of fame.
The family was devastated, but the Blue Fairy stepped in and said she might be able to help. She published how Sleeping Beauty may suffer alcohol overdose before the age of 16, but she would be rescued and put in rehab for 4 years locked in a room with the cast of Jersey Shore. The father wasn't to happy about this either, so he ordered all alcohol in the land to be burned, causing a chemical explosion and spreading a rare disease among the Hollywood citizens for the next 40 years.
Sleeping Beauty was moved to a safe location with the Blue, Red, and Green Fairies looking after her. One day, feeling rebellious at the age of 15, she went out into the woods to have a look around. She took in all the wonderful green scenery with awe but was scared of the animals.
"AHH! What the hell is that?" she shrieked, watching a squirrel scramble up a tree.
Feeling frightened, she began singing softly.
"And I was like baby, baby, baby ohhh..."
"HEY!"
Startled, she looked for the voice.
"Hello?" She whispered.
Suddenly, a lesbian-looking young boy stood out from behind a tree, wearing a cloak made of green ivy and ankle bracelets that jingled when he walked.
"I heard you singing my song" he said in an unusually high-pitched voice.
"Oh, I hear it on the radio now and again, I don't really know much about the outside world," she sighed, "What's your name?"
"Justin, but you can call me Lucy,"
She smiled.
"Hi Lucy," she stuck out her hand and he received it giving it a good shake.
Sleeping Beauty and Justin, or Lucy, met up in secret over the next few weeks, and she learned that Justin was rich and famous, they began feeling more attached to each other. Soon they fell in love.
"I want you to give me a blowjob," Justin said to Sleeping Beauty one day.
Sleeping Beauty finally knew this was true love.
They sealed their love with true love's first kiss...on a penis.
Sleeping Beauty was approaching her 16th birthday fast, and one day she went to the woods to find that Justin wasn't there.
"Y arnt U Txtn Miii Bckk Bbbzzz ::((( xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx" she tapped into her iphone, and sent it to Justin.
To her surprise, her iphone beeped.
"Bcuzz sum whacko journalist kidnapped me...FML lykkk Omg :( xxxxxxxx"
Sleeping Beauty ran crying home to her gaurdians. Slowly, they told her the truth, about her parents and the stories published about her as a baby. They said how the Wicked Witch must have kidnapped Justin incase the curse was disturbed by him. A few minutes later they received a letter from the Wicked Witch herself!
"I bugged your house, and overhead you say the reason why I kidnapped the lesbian, Justin. I only did it because she annoys the fuck out of me and an autistic bear playing the harp could make better music then her. That is all."
The Fairies took Sleeping Beauty to her parents in their mansion and they told her the story again. Unable, to take it all in, she wondered around the big mansion, dazed and upset. Suddenly, she heard beautiful music coming from behind the one of the doors.
"That's a banging tune" she mused, and wondered in.
She entered a room, and there was a table with about 12 bottles of vodka on it. A woman was sitting their, stroking an albino mink wrapped around her shoulders.
"I've been waiting for you," she purred, " Drink it,"
Sleeping Beauty sleepily took the glass from the woman's hand and took a sip, and another, and another...
The damage was done. Sleeping Beauty collapsed and was brought to a rehab centre, and for the next four years she was tormented by the cast of jersey shore. Meanwhile, Justin escaped by driving the Wicked Witch insane by singing non-stop for 56 hours. He immediatly took the long trek of a 5 minute bike-ride to the rehab centre. He was greeted by an unstoppable wall of paparrazzi. He shaved his head and began whacking them with umbrellas, until he was inside the safe walls of the building. He rescued Sleeping Beauty and whacked the cast of Jersey Shore with his umbrella as well, but they drove him away with grenades of spray tan and fake lashes, from the boys.
"Omg, I like, can't believe you would do that for me! I so love you!" Sleeping Beauty cried.
"I-" Justin began, but was irrupted by a drunk looking black guy.
"Look, Juicebox Child, I'm happy for you an all', Imma let ya'll finish, but Disney made one of the best versions of Sleeping Beauty of all time! Of all time!"
Justin proceeded to whack him with an umbrella too, and was put in jail for charges of assault, offensive behaviour, severe distress to human beings, and ruining the music industry. Sleeping Beauty decided to become lesbian instead and adopted a child who's name cannot be pronounced, He-Who-Cannot-Be-Named-For-Stupid-Celebrity-Name-Choice. The Wicked Witch moved to Africa and did charity work there for the rest of her life.
The End.
A rich and famous couple gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, named Sleeping Beauty, in the faraway kingdom known as Hollywood. She was well-known across the land because of her parents fame, and 3 good celebrity journalists, named Blue Fairy, Red Fairy and Green Fairy, began publishing lovely predictions for the baby's life. The Red Fairy predicted she'd have beautiful looks, taken after her mother. The Green Fairy wrote that she'd be a beautiful singer, based on her father's talent. However, before the Blue Fairy could publish what she hoped for the baby, a sleazy bad-tempered journalist named The Wicked Witch published a story on how Sleeping Beauty would die from alcohol overdose before the age of 16, due to the pressure of fame.
The family was devastated, but the Blue Fairy stepped in and said she might be able to help. She published how Sleeping Beauty may suffer alcohol overdose before the age of 16, but she would be rescued and put in rehab for 4 years locked in a room with the cast of Jersey Shore. The father wasn't to happy about this either, so he ordered all alcohol in the land to be burned, causing a chemical explosion and spreading a rare disease among the Hollywood citizens for the next 40 years.
Sleeping Beauty was moved to a safe location with the Blue, Red, and Green Fairies looking after her. One day, feeling rebellious at the age of 15, she went out into the woods to have a look around. She took in all the wonderful green scenery with awe but was scared of the animals.
"AHH! What the hell is that?" she shrieked, watching a squirrel scramble up a tree.
Feeling frightened, she began singing softly.
"And I was like baby, baby, baby ohhh..."
"HEY!"
Startled, she looked for the voice.
"Hello?" She whispered.
Suddenly, a lesbian-looking young boy stood out from behind a tree, wearing a cloak made of green ivy and ankle bracelets that jingled when he walked.
"I heard you singing my song" he said in an unusually high-pitched voice.
"Oh, I hear it on the radio now and again, I don't really know much about the outside world," she sighed, "What's your name?"
"Justin, but you can call me Lucy,"
She smiled.
"Hi Lucy," she stuck out her hand and he received it giving it a good shake.
Sleeping Beauty and Justin, or Lucy, met up in secret over the next few weeks, and she learned that Justin was rich and famous, they began feeling more attached to each other. Soon they fell in love.
"I want you to give me a blowjob," Justin said to Sleeping Beauty one day.
Sleeping Beauty finally knew this was true love.
They sealed their love with true love's first kiss...on a penis.
Sleeping Beauty was approaching her 16th birthday fast, and one day she went to the woods to find that Justin wasn't there.
"Y arnt U Txtn Miii Bckk Bbbzzz ::((( xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx" she tapped into her iphone, and sent it to Justin.
To her surprise, her iphone beeped.
"Bcuzz sum whacko journalist kidnapped me...FML lykkk Omg :( xxxxxxxx"
Sleeping Beauty ran crying home to her gaurdians. Slowly, they told her the truth, about her parents and the stories published about her as a baby. They said how the Wicked Witch must have kidnapped Justin incase the curse was disturbed by him. A few minutes later they received a letter from the Wicked Witch herself!
"I bugged your house, and overhead you say the reason why I kidnapped the lesbian, Justin. I only did it because she annoys the fuck out of me and an autistic bear playing the harp could make better music then her. That is all."
The Fairies took Sleeping Beauty to her parents in their mansion and they told her the story again. Unable, to take it all in, she wondered around the big mansion, dazed and upset. Suddenly, she heard beautiful music coming from behind the one of the doors.
"That's a banging tune" she mused, and wondered in.
She entered a room, and there was a table with about 12 bottles of vodka on it. A woman was sitting their, stroking an albino mink wrapped around her shoulders.
"I've been waiting for you," she purred, " Drink it,"
Sleeping Beauty sleepily took the glass from the woman's hand and took a sip, and another, and another...
The damage was done. Sleeping Beauty collapsed and was brought to a rehab centre, and for the next four years she was tormented by the cast of jersey shore. Meanwhile, Justin escaped by driving the Wicked Witch insane by singing non-stop for 56 hours. He immediatly took the long trek of a 5 minute bike-ride to the rehab centre. He was greeted by an unstoppable wall of paparrazzi. He shaved his head and began whacking them with umbrellas, until he was inside the safe walls of the building. He rescued Sleeping Beauty and whacked the cast of Jersey Shore with his umbrella as well, but they drove him away with grenades of spray tan and fake lashes, from the boys.
"Omg, I like, can't believe you would do that for me! I so love you!" Sleeping Beauty cried.
"I-" Justin began, but was irrupted by a drunk looking black guy.
"Look, Juicebox Child, I'm happy for you an all', Imma let ya'll finish, but Disney made one of the best versions of Sleeping Beauty of all time! Of all time!"
Justin proceeded to whack him with an umbrella too, and was put in jail for charges of assault, offensive behaviour, severe distress to human beings, and ruining the music industry. Sleeping Beauty decided to become lesbian instead and adopted a child who's name cannot be pronounced, He-Who-Cannot-Be-Named-For-Stupid-Celebrity-Name-Choice. The Wicked Witch moved to Africa and did charity work there for the rest of her life.
The End.
♠ ♠ ♠
I have nothing against Justin Bieber, but he seems to be a hot topic today so I decided to add him to the story. It was for joke reasons and of course he is talented and an influence to everyone :) I just wrote this because I was feeling a bit hyper...