What Makes A Human

Cold. I’m ice cold. It’s slippery…wood. My dresser? My fingers prodded around feverishly for my clock as it screeched across the room. The piercing jingle crammed itself into my brain.

My legs were sore. My arms were sore. Shit, my NOSE was sore. Groggily I opened my eyes. My room was pitch black in it’s chaos, drawers missing from their hinges, razors scattered across the floor…I caught sight of an empty paper bag. Great, that’s fan-fucking-tastic. I placed a gentle finger tip on my tongue, my fingers aching as well. The numbing hadn‘t worn off. Cocaine? Opium? I sucked in a sharp breath as I collapsed back onto my bare bed. A familiar after pain raked its razor nails down my spine.

“You’re awake.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. Leroy Otto stared at me condescendingly, a glint in his eyes.

“No shit,” I croaked. Leroy smiled a crooked smile- exactly like mine, but completely different. It had a twist to it; riddled with tantalizing secrets that made you want to adore him and alienate him at the same time. Simple, yet delusional. I hated my brother. I hated him yet I couldn’t let him take the fall for anything he does- it’s like he’s taking my arm and twisting it until it breaks behind my back. Then he goes out and pays for my cast. Idiot.

“I heard you got a little crazy at the joint last night,” he exclaimed, prodding at my ribs in a silly dance.

“Am I ever civilized?” I asked. I rolled over and away from him, tugging the comforter above my head. A sigh escaped me as I prepared to crumple into a deep sleep.

“I bet Marion was pissed-”
“Don’t use his full name.”
“Why? Because it’s a girl’s name? What a shame it must be for him as a man.”
“Go to hell Leroy. He deserves more respect than you’re giving him.”

My brother grunted in annoyance before in one quick flourish slamming his whole body into me. The bed creaked in frustration as he rolled and cuddled into my side.

“Goddamnit Leroy-”

“Jesus has nothing to do with it,” Leroy said mockingly, giving a few good whacks to my arm. I stifled the urge to cry out. My twin scurried out from under my curled fists and swung open the blinds, blazing sunlight flooding every crevice.

“Leroy! What the hell is your proble-” My voice muted. I noticed the heavy, leather shoes standing in my doorway. Leroy stayed facing the window, pretending to focus on other things. It was a lie, of course. Who couldn’t be aware of the presence of someone who has the strings of New York tied to each of his fingers? The once annoying, sibling atmosphere was replaced with stony silences- a strained company.

“Good afternoon Royce.” Thick, calloused fingers pulled the comforter from over my head to my waist. I was positive that I looked like a damned rag-a-muffin at it’s finest. He didn’t care though- he never cared. What kind of Mafia father would he be if he cared?

“Afternoon Dad,” I grumbled, turning to look at him. God, when will he stop being so big?

“I heard about your little blow escapade last night. It would’ve made headlines, but I had a guy bump off the photographer,” Lawrence Otto murmured. A hulk-like hand reach for the inside pocket of his coat. Lawrence brought out the cigar in a flourish and lit it at his lips. It looked weird sitting on his thin mouth, around the creases of his nose. It looked too small, too feminine.

“Do you want a thank you or something?” I retorted, sitting myself up and flattening my hair. I swung my legs around to sit on the edge of the bed. My eyes stared at the smooth hands in my lap.

“Show your old man some respect- you cluck like a little bitch about your brother, but you have none of your own.” I didn’t have to look to know he was narrowing his eyes at me. I was his disappointment, his failure from the result of an unexpected lover. I wonder how long it would be until he bumped me off too.

“Dad, I’m borrowing the Chrysler. Me and the fellas are going out tonight.”

Lawrence gave his son a look that would’ve burnt all of New York City down. Leroy merely smiled coyly back. At this point, Leroy was standing next to his father and I knew the comparison would be impeccable. The wheat colored hair, the mischievous brown eyes, the smug tug of the upper lip. Then there was me, with my tousled brunette hair and light greens.

“Don’t wreck it like this dewdropper would.” Lawrence muttered as Leroy bounded out of the room.

He turned his attention back to me and sneered. “Are you going to sit there or are you going with him?” I stared blankly back at him, my mouth opening and closing before a soft “yeah” came out. Lawrence looked me over with a quick flick of his eyes. I could almost see the disapproval radiating from him. The Mafia Lord scoffed before walking out and slamming the doors behind him.

The morning passed on with no real sense of time. I ate breakfast, took a shower, got dressed, and bought a few stocks. Prices were skyrocketing so fast everyone was scrambling for just one. Walking out the front door, I tugged on my leather jacket. It was cold as shit and I rubbed my hands together as I walked towards the car. The hair lying over my frostbitten ears stung. I needed a haircut.

Leroy laughed seeing my face and asked: “So how many cigar burns did you get this time? Did he put one on your left cheek to match the other?”

I scowled at my brother. “No, he only told me to leave, idiot.” Leroy chuckled as he turned and pulled out the choke. Eventually, we were cruising down Myrtle Avenue, laughing like deranged children. Maybe it was because we were brothers, but it was easy not to be mad at Leroy. Even if I did hate him. We pulled up to the sidewalk with Leroy’s notorious curb-checking and I sauntered into the hair parlor. A wave of chloride and bleach slapped itself against my face as I went to stand next to the boys.

“-eriously, it’s all about the gams.”

“For crying out loud! You guys are amateurs. You don‘t know a lick about a real woman.” Mario proclaimed. He flicked out a cigarette, inhaling deeply. Gino, the owner of the shop, looked in disgust.

“No smoking!” Mario looked over and sighed before stubbing it in a potted plant. I smirked and elbowed him in the arm.

“Bad day?”

“Harriet dumped me like a pathetic sap,” Mario stated.

“Because, you know, real women dump losers Mario,” Edward guffawed, his cheeks pink.

“Did you cry?” I teased, shoving my numb hands into my pockets. Mario glowered half-heartedly and smiled. More cold air rushed in as the door opened and Leroy bounded through, a new girl in tow. That quick?

“Hey fellas, this here is Rochelle.” Leroy waggled his eyebrows comically while his necker giggled and kissed his cheek. Rochelle caught my eye and smiled alluringly before placing out her milk-white hand.

“I’m Rochelle,” she purred, making sure to lean forward to give me a flash of the bubs. I smiled politely and kissed her hand.

“So I’ve heard. You from Opal Street?” The guys bit their lips to hide their laughs and Leroy glanced at me, angrily. Rochelle smiled dumbly, fluttering her long blonde lashes.

“Pos-I-lute-ly! How’d ya know?” My green orbs swiveled to the twin beside her. I raised an eyebrow incredulously. Only the easiest, well-prized quiffs hung around Opal.

“Just a lucky guess” I replied kindly, placing a façade smile. The guys continued to snicker as I headed toward Gino.

“Get me the usual Baby Grand,” I said, swiveling into the chair. Gino grouched over and began shaving and clipping my hair. Tousles of brunette dropped to the floor, the snip snip resonating in my ears. New York winter frosted the windows in a blurry picture. The people passing were blobs of rainbow colors. My eyelids fluttered shut and I tried thinking of other things- new cars I was going to buy, the next mission, my next dame of the week. I reopened my eyes only to find myself completely alone with the exception of Gino. I looked around quizzically before asking Gino where they all went.

“Your brother is teaching some chump a few manners. Came right in mouthing off about your father.”

Shit!

I jumped out of the chair and wiped the window, trying to get a good look outside. What was- Oh, shit.

A crowd of about twenty, maybe thirty people surrounded the corner of the street from my view in the shop. I hissed as I saw a blonde head bob in the middle of the crowd, steel fists flailing. Idiot. “Thanks for the cut, Gino,” I quipped, flinging on my jacket. The crowd had doubled in size as I ran across the street.

“Sucker punch the little shit!”

“The Ottos are a bunch of fags!” I narrowed my eyes at the scrawny boy who yelled that. He must’ve felt my stare boring into his back because he turned and was shocked. But it didn’t take long before a fellow fan tackled him to the ground- smothering his face in the dirt. I was shoved forward through the horde, grunting under my breath. People need to watch where the hell they put their elbo-

“You lookin’ to stop this fight hotshot?” a beast growled. Or at least he looked like a beast. My eyes glanced aside his thick frame and I frowned at Leroy now fighting TWO guys. Ugh.

“Let me through cheese ball,” I hissed, narrowing my murky greens. The man laughed in a low baritone and before I knew it, I was flying through the air. The breath was knocked out of me as I slumped to the ground. Just wait until he gets close, then strike. His burly hand reached out for my collar, a sadistic grin on his face. The moment his fingers touched me, I sprung.

Fists all around me were flying at blurring speeds, people hollering and screaming. I punched the giant in neck again, watching with satisfaction when he tried to breath and couldn’t. It would take a good thirty seconds for his adam’s apple to recover. My hands clenched around the collar of his sweaty tee and yanked him down. His nose made a sharp crack against my knee and I rounded another fist on him. Leroy whooped ecstatically, pinning another guy to the wall and head butting him. So much for breaking up the fight. The riot around us grew more intense as people were choked, slammed, slapped, and pounded into dust.

We were savages.

Splotches of red decorated my knuckles as I knocked a guy in the teeth. I was taken by surprise when a muscular forearm snapped around my neck. Shit! A burst of adrenaline flooded me and I hollered. I thrashed angrily against the attacker’s hold. My elbows stabbed wildly at whoever it was. Stay calm, just stomp his foot, elbow him! A right hook to the cheek, an uppercut to the chin. Do anything! My vision spun as I was thrown to the ground again and stomped on. Pain creased itself in between my vertebras‘. I couldn’t feel my hands as they tried to clench. Another kick to the back, stomp on my gut. I was slowly going numb, from my legs and up.

Good lord, I was going to be beaten to death.

I reached an arm out, feeling for something to hold onto. Nothing. My fingernails clung to the sidewalk and I lurched myself forward. I’m pretty sure I didn’t move. I tried again, harder, more forceful. Someone’s heel bashed into my brow and I hissed in pain. Don’t get distracted Royce, just get the hell out. I sucked in a sharp breath and dragged myself forward. My eyes were hazy, but I could just barely spot an opening. My man-made tunnel to salvation.

I cried out when the ground rushed out from under me. For a vague, delirious second, I thought that I was flying away from the fight like an angel.

“Royce! It’s the pigs! We gotta go!” Leroy shouted, panicked blues searched my face for any signs of life.

Nevermind.

“Freeze hoods!” Two police cars screeched to a stop and the officers flew out of the cars. People scrambled off in different directions, some being trampled while others stood and fought the police.

“Leroy, start the-” I looked around me wildly. Where the hell did he go? My eyes watched in horror as Leroy head butted a police officer before grabbing his baton and thonking another. Good lord, what has he done. I tackled my brother to the ground and the Police ran for some others. It was chaos. Leroy and I struggled against one another, rolling about. I straddled him to the ground as he squirmed.

“Lay off Roy-” I pinned his arms to the ground and glowered. Our noses barely grazed one another’s.

“What. Do you think. You’re doing?!” I breathed.

Leroy averted his gaze, away from me. It then dawned on me, something I should’ve noticed a long time ago. He didn’t care. For the past eighteen years of my life, I was trying to help someone who did the things he did knowing the consequences. Leroy didn’t care whether he was caught or not. Why would he when I would swoop in for the rescue every time?

I’m an idiot.

I shoved myself off my brother and stared at him for what seemed like a lifetime. Leroy’s gaze was just as unflinching, as if to say You finally get it? You’re dumb. I opened my mouth to speak but I was cut off by another police siren in the distance. At this, Leroy smiled and said: “Looks like we’re going to jail again, bro!” He laughed meagerly. I shook my head at him.

“Not me. Not this time.”

Before Leroy could speak, before he could change my mind- I ran. I don’t think I ever ran as fast as I did then in my entire life. It must’ve been the criminal in me- the Mafia’s son. But it felt good. My lungs widened like sails, taking in the sweet air passing through my nose. The sharp slap of my feet on the pavement made me giddy. I curved around a corner. And another. And another. I had no idea where I was heading and I didn’t care.

I was gone.