Angel, Put Me Back Together Again

Frank's POV

I sat on the edge of my bed looking at my suit case that I had packed. This was really happening. I was flying out to California to see Angela for the first time in months. It made my stomach twist just thinking about what could happen. I liked to have an idea of what I'm dealing with, but I tried not to picture anything or plan out any conversation we might have because I don't know who she is anymore. The odds of her being the same person she was when she left is very slim.

"Frankie, could you hold this for a sec."

I snapped out of the daze I was in and looked up to see Christine standing over me holding a small bag in one hand and an armful of makeup, hairspray, and other girl products I wasn't sure of. I took the bag from her and held it open as she dropped all of her stuff in it.

"Thank you." She grinned as she took the bag from me, zipped it up and tossed it next to her two suitcases.

"You know we're only going for three days right?"

"You know I will be at the beach all three of those days? I need bathing suits, cover ups, day wear, night wear..."

"Man... that's too much 'wear'. I'm fine with the three outfits I'm bringing. Being a girl must be hard."

"Hmm, it's not so bad." She shrugged her shoulders before plopping down on the bed next to me. "So ... are you ready?"

"Ready? I'm as ready as I can be to surprise my ex girlfriend at her college across the country, if that's what you mean."

"I guess that's one way to put it." She sighed and fell back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. "Are you nervous?"

"Of course I'm nervous." I laid back beside her, also staring at the void that was my ceiling. "I have no idea how she will react. I don't even know if she remembers I exist anymore."

"Trust me, she hasn't forgotten you."

"What makes you say that?" I turned my head to face her. I saw her cheeks turn a slight shade of pink.

"I mean ... you're pretty hard to forget." She dared to look over at me. We made brief eye contact before her stare darted back to the ceiling. I spun my lip ring with my tongue as I continued to watch her with guilty eyes. She cleared her throat. "Besides, from what you've told me, she couldn't just act like what you guys had never happened."

"I guess that's true. I don't mean to be so melodramatic." I sighed and rubbed my hands over my eyes. I was really glad that Christine said she would go with me, but I couldn't help but feel like this was doing more harm than good for her. I wasn't a complete moron. I know she has feelings for me. We established that awhile back that night in the class room. At that time, I could honestly say that I didn't think of her that way, but now I wasn't so sure. I wanted so badly to hold her and apologize for the shit I've been making her deal with. I wanted to kiss her lips again, though I had only kissed her the one time before. I wanted to see her Phoenix tattoo again in all of its luster, wrapping dangerously around her waist. If I hadn't made the conscious decision to fix things with Angela and myself, I would have done just that, but I needed to make things right. I didn't want to ruin my second, and probably last chance I have with the girl that means the most to me. Christine means a lot to me as well, and I wondered if I would be able to go back to being just friends with her and it not be weird. I didn't want to think about losing one of them because of the other.

"Shit, we need to get some sleep. It's already midnight and we have to be at the airport by six." Christine said, sitting up on the bed. I glanced at my bedside clock and realized it really was past midnight. I groaned and stood up from the bed and stretched.

"I guess. I'm just not that tired."

"Me either. Too excited for the sand and sun." She said as she moved up on the bed and burrowed under the covers. I chuckled at her as she wrapped herself in the comforter of my bed.

"You look comfy."

"I am comfy." She sighed as she snuggled against my pillows.

"Well I'm glad you're enjoying MY bed." I said, pretending to be angry. She just gave me a lazy smile back and laughed.

"You could stay in here if you want. I won't bite." She motioned to the other half of the bed she wasn't taking up. I wouldn't have mind staying in here with her, but I went against my better judgement.

"I should probably just sleep on the couch..." I scratched the back of my head. I could see that she was slightly embarrassed so I quickly added, "You know, my dad and whatnot."

"No, I know. I was just kidding. It's fine. I'm fine." She mumbled and sunk further into the blankets, her cheeks turning red. I bit the inside of my lip and walked over to the door. I stopped and turned around to give her one last look.

"Night, Christine."

"Goodnight Frankie." She said as she rolled over, her back now facing me. I flicked off the light but hovered in the doorway a second longer before shutting the door. I went to the living room where the pull out couch was waiting for me, fighting the urge to go back and crawl into bed with Christine every step of the way.

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"Frank... Frankie... wake up. We have to leave in less than an hour." Her voice was soft and distant. I groaned and pulled the blanket up over my head.

"Noooo... The sun isn't even out." I croaked, still not fully awake.

"I'm aware. Are you going to shower?"

"No." I huffed, feeling childish. I could almost see her smirk through the covers.

"You're taking a shower." She said, yanking the covers off of me.

"Stop!" I whined, feeling for the covers to pull back over me. She sat down next to me and I scowled at her. "You're not nice."

"Deal with it." She smiled as she pinched my cheek.

"How are you wide awake?"

"I'm not wide awake, but the shower helped." She shook her still damp hair at me, sending little beads of water and her clean scent all over me and making me shiver. She chuckled and pat my side.

"Mmm... you smell nice." I curled in on myself trying to keep warm, all the while, giving her a sleepy smile. She just rolled her eyes.

"You're not going to sweet talk me." She went to stand up but I quickly grabbed her by her belt loops and pulled her back down to me causing her to yelp. She laughed and began to wriggle as I hugged her tightly against me. She managed to flip herself around so she was looking at me, our faces just inches apart. She stopped laugh and cleared her throat, trying to out some distance between us. "Seriously. Get up."

"Fine." I held on to her for a second longer before finally letting her go. She stood up, flustered, and smoothed out her shirt.

"I'll be in your room if you need me." She turned and walked quickly out of the living room and down the hall. I heard my door shut and sighed. I didn't realize I had been holding my breath. I wasn't trying anything or making things awkward on purpose. I was able to control myself from a distance but when she was that close to me...

I shook my head and stretched before sliding off the pull out bed. I was definitely awake now. I walked down the hall to the bathroom but stopped before stepping in. I glanced over my shoulder at my bedroom door, like I was afraid someone might see me. The door was latched shut and I could hear the faint sound of music. It sounded like one of my mixed tapes I had left in the radio. I continued to look at the door, wondering what she was doing on the other side. Was she going through my things? Was she just laying on the bed, eyes closed, taking in the sound of the Ramones? For a split second, I wanted so badly to throw back the door, walk right up to her and kiss her with every ounce of energy I could muster this early in the morning. I wanted to feel her knees give out as I held her tight against me. I wanted to lay with her on the bed and just hold her, fix everything that is wrong with her. Everything that's wrong with me.

But that only lasted for a second. I shook my head and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. In just a few more hours, I would be with Angela again and nothing else would mean as much to me as she would in that moment. Christine was right. The water did wake me up.