Angel, Put Me Back Together Again

I looked once more at the paper in my hands before folding it back up and slipping it into my bag. This was the place. I hesitated before finally getting out of my car and heading up to the building. I walked passed the line of people who had been waiting for God knows how long to get in. I was stopped by security but quickly flashed my pass to them. A Journalist for local music magazine. I was ushered through the doors and heard some grumbling as they behind me. Upon entering the front doors, I passed a few tech guys setting up the sound systems and lighting. I started to make my way toward the green room but froze when I looked over at the stage. It was huge. I couldn't believe they were not just going to play on this stage, but they're headlining it. I must have been standing for too long because I was approached by another security guard.

"Looking for the green room?"

"Actually can I find the restroom first?"

"Sure." He pointed me in the right direction and I quickly made my way to them. I picked the first empty stall and locked myself in it. It took everything I had not to vomit. 'Get yourself together. You're acting ridiculous' my subconscious scowled at me. I groaned as I leaned against the metal door. I had done dozens of interviews before, so it wasn't my nerves getting the best of me. This interview was different. At the time when I volunteered for this show, I thought I could handle it. Now that I was here, I was regretting my decision tenfold.

This was a mistake. Maybe I should try and call someone else to do this. 'Don't you dare' my subconscious snarled inside at me again. I couldn't be so weak. Not after all this time. I was nervous more than anything. I had no idea what to expect. Reluctantly, I unlocked the bathroom stall and walked over to the sinks. I turned on the cold water and dabbed some on my face and neck to calm down. About that time, I noticed a lot more noise coming from the other side of the door. I furrowed my eyebrows as I ripped off some paper towel to dry my hands.

When I opened the door, I saw that kids were starting to pour into the building. Shit. I'm taking too much time. I need to get back to the green room. I secured my bag over my shoulder and braved the crowd of teenagers. I found the entrance that lead backstage and flashed my badge again, gaining entrance to a more secluded area. I passed by a few bands that I recognized from past interviews. I just gave them a nod as I headed for the main room designated for the headlining band. My hands were shaking as I approached the door. I reached in my bag and retrieved the much worn paper for the hundredth time. I unfolded it slowly to read the flyer once more. The band on the paper matched the band name scrawled on the wipe off board hanging on the door and I sighed. This was it. I held my breath as I gently knocked on the door. I heard several voices coming from inside and wondered at first if they didn't hear me knocking. I raised my fist to knock again when the door was ripped open, startling me. When our eyes met, his face was momentarily stuck with confusion. I opened my mouth and was thankful to find that my voice hadn't failed me.

"Hi... Long time no see." It was the first thing I could think to say.

"Holy fuck. Angela!" Mikey's voice rang out. The sound of my name caused the rest of the room to fall quiet and turn toward the door. As I glanced around the room I only recognized two other faces. What felt like lifetimes passed as they gawked at me, the other 4 people in the room not understanding what was so important. With no reaction from them right away, I was half tempted to turn and run out of there as fast as I could. Luckily, Mikey snapped out of his dazed and lunged forward, wrapping his arms around me in a once familiar embrace.

"Mikey." I sighed as I hugged him back. Moments later, Gerard and Bob were quickly by his side, waiting their turn for a hug. They laughed in disbelief as this unexpected reunion played out in front of them. I almost found myself in tears as I looked on at all three of them. Gerard was the first to break the building tension.

"I can't believe you're here. What're you doing here?"

"I'm a writer" I flashed my badge at them. They shook their heads, still not believing it.

"What were the odds..." Bob trailed off.

"Well, it wasn't really an accident. I saw the name on the ticket and I volunteered to take it. I just couldn't believe it when I saw it. You guys finally made it. I'm so proud of you." I surprised myself when I almost got choked up. I missed them so much, and now after all this time, I get to see them play on a large stage. It's what I always wanted for them and I always thought I would be there to share it with them. Instead I'm playing the role of journalist friend who hasn't seen them in well over 5 years. None of that seemed to matter though. I was welcomed back with open arm.

We spent a lot of what should have been my interview time catching up, but I was able to get enough questions answered to please the magazine. As we brought each other up to speed on our lives so far, I did my best not to ask about Frank. I didn't want to seem too eager but after all this time, I had to know. I couldn't avoid it anymore.

"So, where are Ray and Frank?" I asked doing my best to sound nonchalant, and it appeared to work. No one seemed hesitant or strange about answering it.

"Who knows? They went off with some guys in the other band. I think they were showing them something on guitar."

"Oh, well hopefully I can catch them before I leave." I wasn't sure if I believed myself, but I knew I was going to have to face him at some point.

The door to the green room swung open and I held my breath for a moment. When I turned to see who it was, I sighed as one of the tech guys poked his head in.

"Sorry, but we need to do a sound check really quick."

The guys all rose up from their chairs and I followed suit. We shared one last hug before they had to go set things up before the show.

Instead of watching the show with the rest of the audience. I chose to watch it from the side stage. As the second to last band was exiting the stage, I couldn't help but get a little tense. After a very theatrical introduction, the five guys of My Chemical Romance took the stage and the audience went nuts. I couldn't help but grin like an idiot. As the lights came up, I finally got my first glimpse of him since I got here. I felt my face flush and an old, familiar pulling in my chest. It was Frank, just a much more grown up version. There were several new tattoos covering his much more toned arms. He looked older in some aspects, yet seemed so much like the boy I met so many years ago. As they began to play their first song, he glanced over in the wing and for the first time we made eye contact. His eyes stopped, fixated in awe at me and missed his cue, earning a shoving from Gerard. He tore his gaze from mine and sang the next line of the song. He seemed to hit every cue after that, but couldn't stop from catching my eye any chance he got.

As their set came to a close, I began to shake with anticipation. My legs desperately wanted to leave and head for the door, but surprisingly I stayed planted. He didn't even wait for Gerard's final farewell to the audience before he walked off the stage. He pulled the cable from this guitar and swung it around so it was hanging on his back. He pulled out his ear piece as he stepped in front of me.

"Angela...It’s really you?” His face was pale as he looked at the ghost from his past.

"Frank." His name still felt so familiar on my tongue.

"It's so good to see you." He had to shake his head and look at me once more to make sure I was real. Hesitant, he awkwardly leaned forward and gave me a hug. It felt strange.

"You too."

"You look amazing." He surprised me with a compliment. I smiled shyly.

"Thanks..." This wasn't going quiet like I thought it would. Then again, I wasn't really sure what to expect.

"So, how have you been? How's everything going for you?"

"Good. Really good. You?"

"Really well."

"That's good." Oh great. Had it been so long that we literally had nothing to talk about or say to each other? Surely after all this time we could find a way to keep the past in the past.

"So... You still with what's his face?" Just like Frank to go straight for the kill. I sighed and looked toward the ground. Apparently the past isn't going anywhere.

"Not anymore. He had some things he needed to work out I guess. Family matters." I felt a slight pain in my chest at the mention of Zack. We had broken up over a year ago, but it was still a touchy subject. I'll never know for sure why Zack called it off, but my excuse was better than nothing. I missed him every now and then, but not the way I missed Frank. The boy I could never get over. "What about ... I mean, are you still with..." I felt ridiculous not being able to say her name after all this time. I just knew how happy they were the last time we spoke. I was shocked when he shook his head.

"No. She couldn't take me being gone on tour all the time. It was a mutual decision." It didn't sound very mutual but he was cut and dry about it. I decided not to press the issue. Could it be too good to be true that we ended up here again?

"Oh..." I awkwardly rubbed the back of my neck, unable to make eye contact with him.

"Angela?" The sound of his voice saying my name still sent shivers down my spine.

"Yes?"

"Do you wanna grab a drink after this? I'd really love to catch up some more."

"I'd like that." I smiled at him, barely holding back the relief that was trying to escape me.

"I'll meet you by the buses?"

"Sure." I watched as he turned to walk away. I've never been one to be so impulsive, but without warning, I realized I couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Frank." I blurted out his name before I could stop myself.

"Hmm?" He turned around to face me, and without a second thought I found myself walking forward and placing my hands on either side of his face, my lips quickly finding his. After a shocked moment, I felt him respond. When his calloused hand reached up and grazed my face, I felt the all too familiar shock of electricity shoot through me, one I don't think I could ever forget. I pulled my face away from his with all the strength I had and looked him in the eyes, despite the crimson color rushing to my cheeks.

"I missed you." I said with more confidence then I actually had. His face was almost as flushed as mine as his eyes greedily looked from my lips to my eyes.

"Damn it…" He breathed out. I furrowed my eyebrows, not sure of his response. He stepped forward and leaned down so his mouth just hovered over mine, making me lose my breath. "It should have always been you, Angel." He closed the gap between us once more and I didn't stop myself from wrapping my arms around him, feeling his lips mold perfectly to mine, our bodies surging with an energy that I never found with anyone but him. The only guy that made me feel a million emotions at once. The only guy who, after all the shit we had been through, never left my mind. I wanted so badly to think that I could get over him, but in this perfect moment I knew without any doubt, as if there ever was one, that it was always Frank Iero.