Status: Contest; One Shot.
Open Door.
One.
"I think I'm officially screwed," I whispered to myself.
Have you ever just remembered every detail in your life? Have you ever focused on every fucked up thing? Have you ever just realized how messed up everything is?
I'm Autumn, and I just noticed that I fucked up big time.
I was the nerdy little girl. I was the innocent little girl. I was the quiet little girl. And then a boy walked into my life.
That's how it always happens, right?
Yesterday I lost my innocence. The day before that I lost somebody who I thought was important. A few weeks before that I was ecstatic. Who knew life could change in an instant?
"Instant, ha," I muttered.
What does instant technically mean? Instant pudding takes at least an hour, an instant death takes two seconds. Whatever it means. I should stop analyzing everything.
I'm sitting here. My position is Indian-style. I'm on the floor next to my chaise lounge chair. Why do I choose to sit on the floor with a comfy chair next to me? I can not answer.
But these are the unanswered questions of life. And more to come.
Maybe I should start from the beginning. Or maybe I shouldn't. You might die of extreme boredom.
Seventh grade, twelve years old. I am always younger than my other fellow classmates. In September, I fell hard. There was this new boy. He had shaggy blonde hair and addictive blue-green eyes. I was immediately drawn to him. Our hearts were complete for over six months. Then, my heart was ripped right open. Back then, I swore I was in love. True love, but now that I look back at it - it's all bullshit.
Eigth grade, I changed for the better, I swear. Another boy, Dominic, stole my heart. I remember how I used to hate the boy in elementary school. We used to joke around in seventh grade, too. But then eigth grade came around and, I just can't explain it. It took us months to admit to liking each other. It took even longer for us to admit that we were in love. True heart-racing, stomach-flipping, fucking love. However, it's just teenage love which just comes along to play with our open hearts, right? Or at least that's what I heard. Either way, it's been over a year and I haven't left yet.
Anyway, I tried my damned hardest to impress his best friend. His best friend was a girl, of course. Roll your eyes if you please. Well, I didn't mean for this to happen, but we became the best of friends. Closer than ever. And now she's gone.
I changed, honestly. I have more confidence. I don't give a fuck, sometimes. I am nicer. But then again, I'm not.
Do you remember the greatest moment in your life? I can't narrow down every single moment and whatnot. But, my most recently amazing moment ever was when I was running. I was running for my life. The wind felt so good against my skin. I felt so alive.
I was at my friend's house. Her name was Elizabeth, and my other friend, Grace, was there, too. Elizabeth's brother and all his friends were there. We all went walking around. It's what kids do at ten o'clock at night. Grace and I decided to take off our shirts and run down the streets as fast as we could. The porches were empty. Lights were off. The wind flowing one hundred miles per hour. The world was silent. And I enjoyed that one moment.
There's no need for me to tell you my life story. You can pretty much sum it up yourselves. Everybody changes, I've realized that. It hurts. A lot. My heart has been torn, ripped, dropped. But everything teaches you a lesson. My generation will take our mistakes to the next level. Just watch us. We're going to make somebody's day. We're going to make somebody cry. We're going to make a difference either way. We're teenagers for Christ's sake. We're going to do stupid things, but that's life. Nobody can protect us from life, we must look fear right in the end. Teenagers are meant to be invincible. And this is a just a new beginning. An old end. The next chapter. We just closed a door, and opened a brand new one. Amen.
This wasn't much of a story, it was more of a epiphany or warning.
Have you ever just remembered every detail in your life? Have you ever focused on every fucked up thing? Have you ever just realized how messed up everything is?
I'm Autumn, and I just noticed that I fucked up big time.
I was the nerdy little girl. I was the innocent little girl. I was the quiet little girl. And then a boy walked into my life.
That's how it always happens, right?
Yesterday I lost my innocence. The day before that I lost somebody who I thought was important. A few weeks before that I was ecstatic. Who knew life could change in an instant?
"Instant, ha," I muttered.
What does instant technically mean? Instant pudding takes at least an hour, an instant death takes two seconds. Whatever it means. I should stop analyzing everything.
I'm sitting here. My position is Indian-style. I'm on the floor next to my chaise lounge chair. Why do I choose to sit on the floor with a comfy chair next to me? I can not answer.
But these are the unanswered questions of life. And more to come.
Maybe I should start from the beginning. Or maybe I shouldn't. You might die of extreme boredom.
Seventh grade, twelve years old. I am always younger than my other fellow classmates. In September, I fell hard. There was this new boy. He had shaggy blonde hair and addictive blue-green eyes. I was immediately drawn to him. Our hearts were complete for over six months. Then, my heart was ripped right open. Back then, I swore I was in love. True love, but now that I look back at it - it's all bullshit.
Eigth grade, I changed for the better, I swear. Another boy, Dominic, stole my heart. I remember how I used to hate the boy in elementary school. We used to joke around in seventh grade, too. But then eigth grade came around and, I just can't explain it. It took us months to admit to liking each other. It took even longer for us to admit that we were in love. True heart-racing, stomach-flipping, fucking love. However, it's just teenage love which just comes along to play with our open hearts, right? Or at least that's what I heard. Either way, it's been over a year and I haven't left yet.
Anyway, I tried my damned hardest to impress his best friend. His best friend was a girl, of course. Roll your eyes if you please. Well, I didn't mean for this to happen, but we became the best of friends. Closer than ever. And now she's gone.
I changed, honestly. I have more confidence. I don't give a fuck, sometimes. I am nicer. But then again, I'm not.
Do you remember the greatest moment in your life? I can't narrow down every single moment and whatnot. But, my most recently amazing moment ever was when I was running. I was running for my life. The wind felt so good against my skin. I felt so alive.
I was at my friend's house. Her name was Elizabeth, and my other friend, Grace, was there, too. Elizabeth's brother and all his friends were there. We all went walking around. It's what kids do at ten o'clock at night. Grace and I decided to take off our shirts and run down the streets as fast as we could. The porches were empty. Lights were off. The wind flowing one hundred miles per hour. The world was silent. And I enjoyed that one moment.
There's no need for me to tell you my life story. You can pretty much sum it up yourselves. Everybody changes, I've realized that. It hurts. A lot. My heart has been torn, ripped, dropped. But everything teaches you a lesson. My generation will take our mistakes to the next level. Just watch us. We're going to make somebody's day. We're going to make somebody cry. We're going to make a difference either way. We're teenagers for Christ's sake. We're going to do stupid things, but that's life. Nobody can protect us from life, we must look fear right in the end. Teenagers are meant to be invincible. And this is a just a new beginning. An old end. The next chapter. We just closed a door, and opened a brand new one. Amen.
This wasn't much of a story, it was more of a epiphany or warning.
♠ ♠ ♠
Comment?