Story of My Life

Fool me once
Shame on you
Fool me twice
Shame on me

"Mean is the average of the two numbers, just add up all the numbers and divided by how many numbers there is."

"So the answer is 30.5?"

I looked it over "Yep."

"And the medium is putting it in order from smallest to biggest number and picking out the middle number?"

"Yes."

She wrote down six.

"Now mode is the easiest. What number do you see the most?"

"2."

"Ok, there's your answer."

"Paul, Jared, your shift starts after school," a familiar voice commanded.

I turned around and saw Sam, Paul, and Jared standing a few yards away. They looked up and seemed to just notice us. Jared had this love-sick expression on his face that just triggered my anger.

"Hello Kim, Courtney. What are you doing here at school this early?"

"Carter was being mean again," Courtney replied.

Sam and Paul exchanged glances while I just glared at my little sister.

She had no problem with Sam but she stayed away because of me.

I loathed his very existence.

"You two are invited to eat dinner with us later. Emily is an amazing cook," he said, his eyes shining at the mention of his fiancé.

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Thank you for the invitation but I'm afraid we won't be able to make it," Courtney said politely. "We are busy today," she finished before I could say something nasty.

Jared's face fell dramatically.

"Well, another time then," Sam responded but he knew as well as I did that it wasn’t happening anytime soon. He’s been asking us for months now.

Sam watched me for a few seconds before turning to leave.

I grabbed Courtney's arm and pulled her towards the elementary school.

"See you later Sam," she sang out happily.

He nodded at me and smiled at her.

“I don’t know why you hate him so much. He’s so nice,” she commented offhandedly.

“You can do what you want Courtney but I’d be rather not talk to him."

She blinked back tears looking away.

I sighed, my conscious coming into play.

“Courtney-”

“I get it, you hate him but what has he done that so bad?”

“The whole thing with Sam and I is between us, Courtney.”

“You’re saying it’s none of my business? Well it is if I feel like I’m betraying you if I ever want to see him,” she argued, angry tears rolling down her cheeks.

“You can see him whenever you want Courtney, I’ve never stopped you before.”

“Why can’t you just get over whatever Sam did to you?”

“I just can’t forget,” I said softly.

“I’m going to class. I’ll see you later,” she told me frostily.

Walking into my first hour right before the bell rings doesn't give me brownie points from the teacher. The old bat already doesn't like me.

"Kimberly, would you like to begin reading chapter three in The Scarlett Letter?"

I sighed quietly before opening my book.

"From this intense consciousness of being the object of severe and universal observation-"

The Scarlett Letter is such a twisted story. It’s about a women who’s been separated from her husband gets pregnant. She is considered an adulterer, delivering baby Pearl in Jail. She refuses to name the girls father.

We had to write an page long essay on what punishments would we give her if we were Puritans.

Honestly, I wouldn’t last in that time period. There are too many rules that I would not be able to follow.

The bell rang annoyingly loud in my ear signaling class ending.

My US History teacher was collecting a paper before allowing the students in the room. Oh, shit, I left that on my desk this morning

"Kim, your paper?"

"I don't have it."

"Go to the office," he said before turning to the next person.
I gaped at him for a second for sauntering off.

"What did you do this time Kim?" Principle Sheppard asked tiredly.

"Didn't turn in a report," I mumbled.

"Kim, what am I going to do with you?" he asked rhetorically.

I love how he doesn't call me Kimberly.

"You have so much potential. You could go so far in life¸ yet you choose not to try. I don't get it."

I just shrugged and picked at my nails. He's just about the only one who can make me feel ashamed of myself.

"I can see this is not getting through to you. You may sit in the ISS room until next period."

I got up silently and went to the room; I've been in here almost as much as my own home.

Paul was sitting there making fun of some poor freshman. I rolled my eyes and pulled the hat from Paul and handed it back to kid.

Paul made an angry sound before looking up. The glare left his face as soon as he saw me.

"Come on Kim, I was just joking," he said just like old times.

"Leave him alone," I said before taking a seat.

"What's wrong Kimmy?" he asked moving next to me.

"Why are you talking to me?" I asked him harshly.

"We're friends."

"Key word, used to be friends," I replied.

"You know I didn't mean to be like that to you."

"Mhm, sure. That is why until a week ago you hated me for who knows what?"

"I didn't know that he broke up with you. I thought it was the other way around. He was so depressed for so long," he tried to explain.

“Well, maybe you should have tried talking to me instead of assuming things.”

“I know, it makes an ass out of you and me.”

“What happened between you too?”

I could say I don’t know but that would be lying.

“Why should I explain, you didn’t want to know six months ago?”

“I’m asking now.”

I paused contemplating how much I wanted to tell him and still be telling the truth.

“I didn’t tell him everything about my life anymore. I can’t…talk about some things. And he couldn’t take it anymore. He told me that the relationship wasn’t going to go anywhere unless I learned to trust him.

“Do you?”

“I thought I did, but definitely not now.”

“You know he still loves you.”

“Stop Paul, it doesn’t matter anymore. It's in the past. I've moved on."

"Have you?" He asked before turning around in his seat.

-+-+-+

Have you?

His words haunted me. I couldn't stop thinking about it. Was I really over Jared? I've been with other guys. But I know it's not the same. I thought I buried all thoughts about him months ago.

-Ring-

Lunch.

I picked up my bag and ran up to Sandy before jumping on her back. "Wife," we screamed out.

We were both laughing while other kids rolled their eyes at us.

"Come on, let's go to 7-11," she said heading towards the front doors.

I pulled out my pack of cigarettes giving one to Sandy before lighting up. A few minutes later more people showed up.

"Kimmy!" said Amber before giving me a giant hug. She reeked of strawberry scented perfume making me want to sneeze.

"Can I borrow your lighter?" Cameron asked me.

"Yeah, sure," I said handing over my mini Bic.

"The flame is huge."

"Just refilled it."

"Are you going to Jenny's party later?"

"Hell's yeah," I answered excitedly. "Courtney's going to spend the night at her friend's house. I love the kid to death but I need a break sometimes."

"Matt's bringing the alcohol," Keri chimed in.

"Awesome," I replied smiling. It's been WAY too long since I've partied.

"So what's going on with you and Jared? We all see the looks he gives you," Amber pointed out with a smirk.

"I don't fucking know. It's been six months; I wish he would just leave me alone."

"Somehow I don't see that happening anytime soon," Keri said knowingly.

"Why do you say that?"

"He's coming this way," she continued.

"Fuck," I muttered.

I took another hit and dropped the cancer stick.

"Hey Kim," he said giving me a smoldering look.

"What's up Jared, you don't hang out with us anymore?" Keri commented cleverly searching for information.

"Just been busy," he said distantly. "Can I talk to you in private, Kim?"

"Why?" I asked, putting him on the spot.

"Because knowing how you are, you wouldn't want this to be made public."

"You don't fucking know me. You may have once but you sure as hell don't now," I snapped, anger rising in my chest.

"Kim, please," he begged.

I felt my heart stop; the familiar look on his face softened mine.

"You have got five minutes," I warned walking past him to the other side of the gas station.

"How have you been?" he spoke hesitantly.

"Fine, you?" I asked politely.

"Horrible."

My eyebrows lifted in surprise.

"I've been trying so hard to get over you but I can't. I don't want to anymore," he said in a firm tone.

"Well, I don't want to get back together with you. You ruined me. I trusted you to take care of my heart and you ripped it apart. I'm not going to put myself in that position again," I told him.

"You weren't the only one with a broken heart."

"Newsflash, you are the one that broke up with me."

"You refused to tell me what's really important. I feel like I don't even know you."

"Maybe, it's just too painful for me to talk about. Have you ever thought of that?"

"Let me help you through it," he pleaded.

"You can't help me through this."

"How would you know unless you told me."

"You're talking as if we are still going out. I don't have to tell you a damn thing."

"It's not like you told me anything when we were."

That felt like a slap in the face. I knew it was true but he didn't need to know that.

"Then I guess there's nothing to talk about."

"Wait Kim, don't leave. I still love you," he said pleaded.

"Well, that's just not good enough," I said walking away.