I'm Falling In Love, But It's Falling Apart

Garrett

“Get off,” I growl. But instead of going away, my little brother shows up as well. I swear, little children are no fun. Especially when they wake you. I pull the blanket over my head, but Brooke pulls it immediately away.

“Get up, lazy.”

My dad went away when I was four years old. I was only child when my mom decided to remarry. The guy had already a daughter, Brooke. She’s two years younger than me en the most annoying girl I have ever met.

After a year my mom and that guy, who calls Peter by the way, got married and my mom got pregnant of Tyler. The year after that, she got pregnant again. Jessie was born. That was four years ago. So Tyler is now five and Jessie four. Fifteen and sixteen years younger than me.

“Get off,” I shout again. All three of them hear that I’m getting angry, so they finally decide to leave me alone. I pull the blanket over my head again. But after a while, someone takes a seat on my bed.

“Get off,” I say for the third time. They start to annoy the fuck out of me. Just le me alone, for Christ's sake.

“Get up, lazy,” someone says. It's a voice that sounds familiar and I’d rather hear than my sister’s. I pull the blanket away and turn around to look at Kennedy, who's sitting on my bed.

Suddenly my phone starts to vibrate on my bedside table. I look at the caller ID. John. My hands starts shaking. Yeah, I have a crush on John. No one knows, except for Kennedy. And I would like to keep it like that.

“Pick up,” Kennedy says. So I do.

“H-hi,” I stutter. That crush is going on for about two months and from then on I can't act normal around John anymore.

“Hey Garrett, I just wanna say that rehearsal is today, instead of tomorrow.”

“Um, yeah, okay, what time?”

“Same time, two o’clock.”

“At yours?”

“Where else?” he questions.

“Um, yeah, see ya.” I hang up.

"Maybe if you don't want that he knows, you should make it less obvious," Kennedy says.

"Is it that obvious? Shit, I'm such a fool. You think he knows it?"

"Dunno, but I still think you need to tell him. What do you have to lose?"

"A friend, a bandmate. I don't think that is a really good idea."

"Still think you have to do it."

"Maybe I'll say it once, but not now, okay?"

"Whatever you want."

I crawl out of my bed and walk towards the bathroom. I take a quick shower and then head downstairs, Kennedy hot on ly heels.

--

John opens the door.

"Hey guys," he says. Oh my god, he's so gorgeous. I'm sorry, I let myself go a little sometimes. I look at the floor, avoiding his gaze. I'm afraid he'll see it in my eyes.

We then go to the basement, our rehearsal room or however you wanna call it. All our stuff stays here, so we don't have to drag all the stuff all the time.

We only have to wait for Jared and Pat now. Then the doorbell rings and John gets up to walk upstairs. Moments later he comes back with Jared and Pat on his heels.

"We're ready start," he says. Kennedy and I get up as well and pick up our guitars.

--

"That sounded good," Jared says.

"Yeah, tomorrow will be awesome," Pat says.

I glance over at John. He nods. He doesn't say much today. It's kind of weird, because usually he talks a lot. He looks at me and I immediatley avert my gaze. I think I was kind of staring at him. Maybe that is Kennedy meant when he said that I shouldn't be so obvious.

"I'm hungry," Pat says.

"You're always hungry," Kennedy says.

"Yeah, for such a small boy like you, you eat a lot," John says. We head up the stairs to give Pat something to eat. Well, we all take something to eat. Not only Pat is a big eater.

--

I turn around. Again. And again. I can't sleep. I look at my alarm clock. 2:07. I hear a soft knock on my door. My door opens a second later and Tyler, my little brother, patters in.

"What's up, little boy?" I ask. "I had a nightmare." I smile at him.

"Come here." He walks toward my bed and climbs in.

"You're my coolest brother, you know," Tyler says when he lies next to me. I laugh. "I'm your only brother, Ty."

"But you're cooler than Brooke and Jessie. I don't like girls." My smile fades. I wish I liked girls insteed of John. I mean, I'm not hating the fact that I like John, I'm hating the fact that everyone would think it's weird and that he doesn't like me back.

My eyes are getting heavier with the minute. "Gary?" I hmm at the little boy. "I love you."