I Need Him, My Gerard
Worry
I went home, grinning to myself. I knew Gerard didn’t want to break up with me, so I wasn’t too hurt. I went and found that letter that caused me pain, and threw it in the bin. I didn’t need it anymore. I can’t stop wondering if Gerard will be OK. Hopefully his dad won’t beat him up about yesterday, He’s lost too much blood and hasn’t recovered from his massive injuries he got yesterday. We should invest in cell phones, that way I wouldn’t have to risk Gerard’s dad picking up when I phoned the house. But I couldn’t help it, I had to know. I picked up the phone, with holding my number so he couldn’t trace the call back, and waited for an answer.
“Hello?”
“I’m pretty sure it’s Mikey.”
“Erm, is that Mikey?”
“Yeah. Frank?”
“Yeah. I had to check, are you OK?”
“Yes, my dad is going to hit Gerard in about five minutes, because he just found out he was home.”
“Oh crap. Should I come and get him?”
“You can’t protect him forever. I’ll warn him to lock his door, and you can check up in the morning, Ok?”
“OK, tell him I love him?”
“I will. See you in the morning dude,” he said hanging up the phone.
I am so incredibly worried about him, I feel almost like a parent, but actually, more like Gerard is my husband. It sounds weird, maybe I’m over obsessive for a teenager? I can’t help it though, that’s just the way I feel about Gerard. I’m going to go to bed in a minute, I’m not hungry, but first I’m actually going to write in my journal. I’m supposed to write about my daily events, and I haven’t written in it since before I was going out with Gerard, so reading back on my previous entries, my life was childish and dull. I find now I can only write about Gerard, and our relationship. my mom doesn’t know I’m gay yet, so it is incredibly risky that I’m writing what has happened recently in my journal. But Gerard makes me feel able to take risks, like it’s supposed to be this way. Or maybe I’m just babbling, splattering my brain around.
But I really do love him. I hope he knows it. I hope he got away from his dad. I hope he isn’t too scared. I hope he loves me too. But I know those speculations are for people who build their lives on hope. So I’m going to knock for Gerard in the morning, and silently hope and pray that Gerard will be OK tonight. I shouldn’t have to worry about this so much. Gerard should be safe at his house, or if we were older, we should be safe in our own home. I’m going to bed, but I doubt I’ll get any sleep for worrying about Gerard and Mikey, because I don’t know when his dad might start on Mikey. I’ve never met him face to face, but I hate him for hurting the ones I love most. Goodnight.
“Hello?”
“I’m pretty sure it’s Mikey.”
“Erm, is that Mikey?”
“Yeah. Frank?”
“Yeah. I had to check, are you OK?”
“Yes, my dad is going to hit Gerard in about five minutes, because he just found out he was home.”
“Oh crap. Should I come and get him?”
“You can’t protect him forever. I’ll warn him to lock his door, and you can check up in the morning, Ok?”
“OK, tell him I love him?”
“I will. See you in the morning dude,” he said hanging up the phone.
I am so incredibly worried about him, I feel almost like a parent, but actually, more like Gerard is my husband. It sounds weird, maybe I’m over obsessive for a teenager? I can’t help it though, that’s just the way I feel about Gerard. I’m going to go to bed in a minute, I’m not hungry, but first I’m actually going to write in my journal. I’m supposed to write about my daily events, and I haven’t written in it since before I was going out with Gerard, so reading back on my previous entries, my life was childish and dull. I find now I can only write about Gerard, and our relationship. my mom doesn’t know I’m gay yet, so it is incredibly risky that I’m writing what has happened recently in my journal. But Gerard makes me feel able to take risks, like it’s supposed to be this way. Or maybe I’m just babbling, splattering my brain around.
But I really do love him. I hope he knows it. I hope he got away from his dad. I hope he isn’t too scared. I hope he loves me too. But I know those speculations are for people who build their lives on hope. So I’m going to knock for Gerard in the morning, and silently hope and pray that Gerard will be OK tonight. I shouldn’t have to worry about this so much. Gerard should be safe at his house, or if we were older, we should be safe in our own home. I’m going to bed, but I doubt I’ll get any sleep for worrying about Gerard and Mikey, because I don’t know when his dad might start on Mikey. I’ve never met him face to face, but I hate him for hurting the ones I love most. Goodnight.
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sorry it's short, more tomorrow i promise x