Before He Cheats

“Hey, babe,” Nick said, drawing my attention to him. I was currently sitting on the couch in our apartment. “I’m going out, alright? I’ll be back later.”

“Okay,” I said. Right before he could fully make it out the door, though, I questioned him, “Where exactly are you going?”

“Oh, you know,” he said, and I could tell he was thinking about what exactly he wanted to tell me. I raised my eyebrows. “Just… out with the guys.”

“Okay,” I said, but only after a moment of thought. “That’s cool, then, I guess. Have fun.” Taking that as his hint to finally be able to leave, he did, and as soon as he did, I grabbed the phone sitting on the table next to the couch. I then dialed my friend, Rachel’s, number.

“Hello?” She answered, sounding as if she just woke up. I looked at the clock, seeing that it was eight o’clock.

“Did you just wake up?” I questioned.

“Oh, yeah,” she answered. “From a nap, though. I must have fallen asleep watching TV.”

“Oh,” I said, and then got to the point of even having this conversation. “Well, he left again.”

“He did?” She asked. I nodded, before realizing she couldn’t see me, so I then verbally answered with ‘Yes’. “I’ll be over there in a minute.”

And Rachel held true to her word. Precisely a minute later, she was knocking on my door. I guess us being apartment neighbors did have its advantages.

“Maybe I should have not wasted a phone call,” I said, as soon as I had gotten to the door Nick left not even five minutes ago. As I opened the door and said that to her, she waved it off.

“I would have been sleeping anyhow,” she said. “The phone call woke me up easier than it would have if you came over and knocked on the door.”

“Regardless,” I said, getting back to the point as I shut the door. “He left again.”

This had been the fourth night this week that Nick had left at around eight o’clock. And based on the other three nights, he wouldn’t be back until around maybe twelve or one A.M. tonight. I was starting to wonder where he was going, seeing as he seemed to be using the same excuse every night: that he’s just going out with the guys. But when I told Rachel this, she found it a little odd that his friends would want to hang out so frequently with him, and now that I think about it… I find it a little odd as well. It’s like his friends don’t have other lives, when I knew for a fact that they all did. So he… had to be doing something else. Rachel believed that he was cheating, but I refused to believe it. Nick and I had been together for two years; living together now for three months. I loved him, and he told me that he loved me, so… why would he cheat on me?

Rachel, however, had a different idea. I believed it was because she had been cheated on before, and she didn’t want me to go through the same thing. Rachel was a big believer in second chances, so she ended up giving the guy a second chance, but then a month later… she caught him with another girl again. So… let’s just say… that Rachel no longer believes in second chances. And that guy didn’t get off too easy for the record, either.

“Hm… I say… we go through his stuff,” she suggested. I just looked at her. “What? Guys keep tabs on their girls, it’s just… their common law. Especially, girls they like. So… if he is cheating like we think he is-”

“Like you think he is,” I corrected. She sighed.

“Fine, like I think he is,” she said. “Then he should have her name written down somewhere. We just need to look through his things… does he happen to have a planner, or scheduler, or something?”

“He has a journal,” I told her without thinking. She looked at me with wide eyes.

“That’s perfect!” She exclaimed. “Where’s it at?”

“What? No,” I said to her, now defensive. “I have never looked at it. Nick does not want me to look at it. It’s his personal thoughts.” She looked at me as if I had all of a sudden grown four heads.

“Um, hello!” She exclaimed to me, flailing her hands around. I gave her a skeptical look. “That is a reason to look at it. His personal thoughts… if they’re his personal thoughts, then he’s bound to put something about another girl in there. This is probably the reason he doesn’t want you to look at it. Now, where is it?”

I thought about it for a moment before saying anything, “For the record, he told me from the beginning to never look at it; not just recently. But it’s in the drawer of the bedside table.”

She hurried to Nick and I’s room, which for the record was only for sleeping, and came back a moment later with the journal we had just been talking about. It was leather-bound, nothing too fancy. I looked at her to see what her next move would be. She surprised me when she handed it to me.

“Oh no,” I said immediately, and handed it back to her. “I’m not supposed to read it. If anyone is, it’s you.”

“Oh fine,” she said, “I’ll read it aloud, then.”

She opened it up, and started to briefly scan the pages. After about two minutes and her still not finding anything, she flipped to the back of it. “I’m going to look at his more recent entries, since this started more recently.” I nodded, as she flipped through the pages, “I’m surprised he doesn’t write ‘Dear Diary’ at the beginning of each entry…” I hit her as she snickered. Finally, she stopped, at probably the last entry he had written.

“Aw, here we go,” she stated, clearing her throat before reading aloud. “He writes, ‘I think I found my soul mate, journal…’” she laughed, I was guessing at the thought that he referred to his journal as if it were a person. “‘She’s funny, and has the most beautiful name: Lillian. I met her when I was out walking one day. Cait doesn’t know about her, and I feel kind of guilty about that, but in a way… I kind of don’t. I don’t think I feel the same way about her anymore. I loved her at one point, but recently, I think we’ve just… grown apart. We don’t seem to know each other like we used to. But Lillian… seems to already know me, and I just met her on Monday. I have no idea what I’m going to do; maybe I should just...’ I don’t think I should finish.”

I was speechless. He only felt a little guilty about not telling me? And yet, he still didn’t as well. That was how he felt now? I could not believe this. I thought we were doing just fine… but apparently, according to him, we aren’t. We have apparently ‘grown apart’. I couldn’t believe him… and Lillian… please, that was a far from beautiful name. It sounded like a name a grandmother should have, or a distant cousin. Not a girlfriend’s name.

“Caitlin? Are you-” Rachel started, but I cut her off.

“Finish the entry,” I demanded. “I want to know what he said.”

“I don’t think I should-”

“Now!” I demanded angrily. “Tell me now, or I’ll be forced to look myself.”

“He said, ‘Maybe I should just… leave Cait,’” she finished. I narrowed my eyes.

“That bastard,” I said, not really caring about my language. “He… he does this to me, and he thinks that he should be the one to leave? Please. If anyone’s leaving, it’s me. Come help me pack.”

I didn’t wait for her to say anything before I headed to Nick and I’s room, and went to the closet that I shared with him. It now disgusted me to even be in this apartment, and to have to bear looking at his clothes. So I just did what I wanted without thinking. I took all of his clothes on his side of the closet, went over to the only window in the room, and threw them out. Rachel had come into the room by now, and witnessed me doing so. Oddly enough, she didn’t stop me.

“I don’t blame you,” was all she said. I shrugged.

“How could you?” I questioned rhetorically, as I took his journal that she was still holding in her hands, and ripped it to shreds; taking into consideration each individual piece of paper in it.

“I say we find him,” she said. “I mean, what is the one thing, besides probably that precious journal, that he values over any girl?” I smiled, knowing what she was referring to.

“His car,” I answered. She nodded. “But… I have no idea where he went.”

“Well…” she said. “Luckily, you didn’t get to his very last entry, which I think he wrote today…” she grabbed the half ruined journal out of my hands, before flipping to the last piece. She looked it over, before looking up at me with narrowed eyes. “Oh, you’re not going to believe this.”

>>---------------------------------------------------------------->>

He met Lillian at my favorite restaurant, which from now on… would no longer be my favorite. It just so happened where he took me for our first date.

Un-fucking-believable.

Rachel and I didn’t go inside as soon as we got there. Instead, we watched Nick with the girl I assumed had to be Lillian. And let me tell you… she was far from pretty, let along beautiful.

“She looks like a hooker,” Rachel said, clarifying me thoughts. “But hey, he did say that he met her when he was walking one day. Maybe he met her on a street corner.” I laughed, and I will admit that that made me feel better.

“So… where’s his car?” She asked, turning away from the restaurant. I frowned, looking at Nick and Lillian for another moment, before turning with her.

“Um… right there,” I said, pointing at the dark blue Mustang. She smiled.

“Damn, that is a pretty nice car,” she commented. “That will make this… all the more fun.”

“So… will you tell me what’s in the bag?” I asked her. She had to go to her apartment to grab some things after I finished packing up my things before we left for here. She smiled.

“Witness our weaponry,” she stated, as if she were an announcer, taking the bag of her shoulder and putting it on the ground. She unzipped it, and brought out a baseball bat. “Now… do you have your car key, like I told you to bring?”

“Yeah,” I said, taking it out of my pocket for proof. “Why?”

“Dig it in and put a big old scratch into one, if not both, sides of his car,” she answered.

“I like your thinking,” I said, as I walked over to his car, and she followed. As I did what she said, I asked, “What’s the baseball bat for?”

“The headlights,” she answered, smiling afterwards. I laughed, and nodded. “Figure I better wait on those, though, in case there’s an alarm on the car.”

“Good idea,” I said. After I was done with my key, I looked back at her. “What do you think?”

“Good, good,” she said. She then took something else out her bag; a pocket knife. “Now… it’s time for the tires.” She surprised me by taking another one out, and handing it to me. “You do two, and I’ll do two.”

“Okay,” I agreed, going over to the passenger side of the car as she started on the first tire on the driver’s side. As soon as I was done slashing holes into both of the tires, I noticed something, and laughed.

“What?” Rachel questioned.

“Oh, I have the best idea,” I said, gesturing to the passenger’s side window, which happened to be down. “It was a mistake on his part for leaving the window down, but…”

“Go ahead and do your thing,” she told me, waving for me to proceed. I then leaned my body through, along with the pocket knife. I then took the knife, and carved my name into the fine leather of the passenger side, and then I managed to be able to lean over and do the same to the passenger side as well. As soon as I was done, I leaned back out, and watched Rachel admire my handiwork.

“Nice,” she complimented. “Now it’s time for me to say that I like your thinking.” I laughed.

“So… are you going to do the headlights now?” I asked her. She shook your head.

“I got my revenge on him for hurting my best friend for the two tires,” she said. “The headlights… are all you. You need to prove to him that you were the one who got hurt in all of this the most. This is… part of your revenge.”

I took the bat from her. I waited for her signal, before bashing in the first life. The car alarm started going off, so I had to hurry up when bashing in the second one as well.

“Alright, let’s bolt,” she said, and I agreed, carrying the bat while she carried the bag she brought along. We didn’t leave, though. We got to her car where she had parked it conveniently a good distance away, we got in, before seeing what would happen. Well, actually, we almost got in. Instead of drawing attention to ourselves but opening and shutting the doors, we just… ducked behind the side of her car. Not too long after we did, people started coming out of the restaurant, including Nick with Lillian. As soon as Nick and Lillian realized it was his car alarm that was going off, and his car was destroyed, they both had different reactions. Lillian, who apparently proved right then that she wasn’t Nick’s soul mate, made a face, and… left him with his car. Not too soon after, getting into the car with another guy, who I was pretty sure, she didn’t know.

That just proved Rachel’s hooker theory.

Nick, however, was just standing there in shock. Rachel laughed, while my face… showed no expression.

“That’s what you get for cheating Nick,” she stated, even though he couldn’t hear her from where we were. She stood up, and before getting in the car, she said, “Good riddance.”

I looked back over to Nick, who had finally made it to his car, and he was touching it gently, as if the slightest touch would cause more damage. He had managed to shut off the alarm, but that was only because people were complaining to him to do so.

“Hope you have a nice life, Nick,” I said softly. “Because the next time that you cheat… you know it won’t be on me.” After saying that, I got into the car with Rachel, and she started the car as soon as I shut the door.

As we were driving away, I saw Nick in the rearview mirror on the passenger’s side of Rachel’s car. He was watching us leave, and had a look on his face. Maybe one of regret, sorrow, or even anger. That’s probably what a bystander would think.

But I knew for a fact that he was looking after us because he knew it was me and because even if he hadn’t heard it physically… he knew the honesty in what I just said.

Maybe next time he should think before he cheats.

I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl
'Cause the next time that he cheats
Oh, you know it won't be on me!
No, not on me...
Oh...
'Cause I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seat
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
Slashed a hole in all 4 tires
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
Oh, maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
Oh, before he cheats
Oh...