Homo's Aren't Human
Choices...
For the rest of the day I was mesmerised, I found out that she had not only had beauty but she had an amazing personality to match. She was sarcastic but not in a “omg she’s a pessimistic little bitch” kinda way, she was blessed with the talent to make anything seem funny (for example she had me in stitches over a pencil), however she wasn’t the type who’d crack jokes all day and distract you because when it came to work she was more focused then a lion preparing to pounce, she even had a book in her bag and liked the same authors as me, but the thing that topped it off was the fact that she was able to ignore all the boys’ wolf whistling and just smiled at their cheeky comments without being stuck up and arrogant about it and she refused to accept all the compliments from the girls but said she was flattered without sounding vain and even complimented them back. The end result was that by the end of her first day at school she had respect from everyone and consistently had to turn down offers to be walked to the bus stop.
The next day I got up late so by the time I entered our form room Miss was calling the register. As I walked to my seat I tried not to look dejected and hurt as I noticed that Sincy was now sitting with the popular girls, I cringed inside as I realized how stupid I looked yesterday tagging along with someone like Sincy who’s way out my league and cursed myself for being stupid enough to believe that a beautiful girl like Sincy would want to be my friend.
When the pips went I got up and rushed out the classroom, despite my brain ordering me to keep going I stopped when I felt someone tugging on my bag strap and turned around, Sincy stood before me and signaled with her head for me to re-enter the classroom, once again I ignored my brain and followed.
Once inside she smiled warmly and said;
“Sorry about this morning, they actually begged me to sit with them and I thought you weren’t in so I agreed.” She smiled.
“Uhh...” I grunted.
“So….why was you late?” She asked, her eyebrows dipping in confusion at my monosyllabic stance.
I shrugged and stared intently out the window
“Err…ok…”She wavered unsure of what had happened and what to do now. She paused
“Listen, I don’t know if I’ve done anything to offend you and if I have please believe me when I say im truly sorry but this is kinda a first for me, in all my previous schools I was hated on almost immediately, I wasn’t even given the chance to attempt friend making so I’m sorry if I’ve been too forward or over excited but this is a whole new experience and im just so…so…”She paused staring into space looking for the right word with a big smile plastered on her face.
Guilt thundered down on me with such force that I took a step back to steady myself, I stared intently into her gorgeous face and resisted the temptation to rush forward and give her a hug.
“Listen I’m sorry, I’ve been rambling haven’t I, but well all I’ve really ever wanted was a true friend, someone who was nice, funny, smart, independent, reads, easy going, like doing the same things as me, someone who likes me for me…Someone who I could rely on…And so far, that’s been you...Oh God this is gonna sound really cheesy…”She smiled, going pink. She then looked intently into my eyes and asked;
“Will you be that friend?...”
I smiled, ready to shout my answer for the whole school to hear. I stood there just imagining walking in and out of school with Sincy, sitting in the fields talking and joking, reading in the library together and staying over each others houses, just like I did with…
My smile dropped as I remembered…
Just like I did with Lily…
Then there was Emma, and Sarah and Jessie…But then we broke up, well no, we didn’t, they broke away from me and formed their own little group, a group that grew and grew, frequently recruiting more and more members to join in on the one thing that they all agreed on…Torturing me because of my sexuality…
I took a step back away from Sincy and froze, realizing that in saying yes I was saying yes to the chance of being beaten up, bullied, getting snips of my hair cut, getting spat at, being taunted, being stolen from but most of all…Being betrayed..
*brrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnggggggggggggggg*
We both looked up at the bell and then locked eyes, I broke away from her gaze and whispered;
“Im sorry Sincy…I … I …. I just can’t...” before fleeing from the room.
The next day I got up late so by the time I entered our form room Miss was calling the register. As I walked to my seat I tried not to look dejected and hurt as I noticed that Sincy was now sitting with the popular girls, I cringed inside as I realized how stupid I looked yesterday tagging along with someone like Sincy who’s way out my league and cursed myself for being stupid enough to believe that a beautiful girl like Sincy would want to be my friend.
When the pips went I got up and rushed out the classroom, despite my brain ordering me to keep going I stopped when I felt someone tugging on my bag strap and turned around, Sincy stood before me and signaled with her head for me to re-enter the classroom, once again I ignored my brain and followed.
Once inside she smiled warmly and said;
“Sorry about this morning, they actually begged me to sit with them and I thought you weren’t in so I agreed.” She smiled.
“Uhh...” I grunted.
“So….why was you late?” She asked, her eyebrows dipping in confusion at my monosyllabic stance.
I shrugged and stared intently out the window
“Err…ok…”She wavered unsure of what had happened and what to do now. She paused
“Listen, I don’t know if I’ve done anything to offend you and if I have please believe me when I say im truly sorry but this is kinda a first for me, in all my previous schools I was hated on almost immediately, I wasn’t even given the chance to attempt friend making so I’m sorry if I’ve been too forward or over excited but this is a whole new experience and im just so…so…”She paused staring into space looking for the right word with a big smile plastered on her face.
Guilt thundered down on me with such force that I took a step back to steady myself, I stared intently into her gorgeous face and resisted the temptation to rush forward and give her a hug.
“Listen I’m sorry, I’ve been rambling haven’t I, but well all I’ve really ever wanted was a true friend, someone who was nice, funny, smart, independent, reads, easy going, like doing the same things as me, someone who likes me for me…Someone who I could rely on…And so far, that’s been you...Oh God this is gonna sound really cheesy…”She smiled, going pink. She then looked intently into my eyes and asked;
“Will you be that friend?...”
I smiled, ready to shout my answer for the whole school to hear. I stood there just imagining walking in and out of school with Sincy, sitting in the fields talking and joking, reading in the library together and staying over each others houses, just like I did with…
My smile dropped as I remembered…
Just like I did with Lily…
Then there was Emma, and Sarah and Jessie…But then we broke up, well no, we didn’t, they broke away from me and formed their own little group, a group that grew and grew, frequently recruiting more and more members to join in on the one thing that they all agreed on…Torturing me because of my sexuality…
I took a step back away from Sincy and froze, realizing that in saying yes I was saying yes to the chance of being beaten up, bullied, getting snips of my hair cut, getting spat at, being taunted, being stolen from but most of all…Being betrayed..
*brrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnggggggggggggggg*
We both looked up at the bell and then locked eyes, I broke away from her gaze and whispered;
“Im sorry Sincy…I … I …. I just can’t...” before fleeing from the room.