The ED Diaries

Anna looked down the street, at the people. Searching for the right person to come strolling along. Anna didn’t know any of them, but she knew what they looked like, the way they walked with such poise down the streets. They weren’t that hard to spot, and as she sat on the cement steps of the unknown building they led to, her eyes scanned every single person. Until her eyes came to one in particular.

It was a girl, her age, with perfect posture, and a elegant walk. It was like she was floating down the streets, and her hair was shiny and silky looking. Anna just wanted to reach out her hand and comb her fingers through it. The girl didn’t make eye contact with anyone, but just walked down the street. Anna smiled, she felt golden and got up and started walking home. She remembered the first time she saw one.

October 23, 1997 She was four years old, at the Halloween parade with her mother. Her father working at home on his painting for this firm. Anna’s mother held her hand and then the last float came and there were models on it. Dressed funny, but beautiful and elegant.

“Those are models, dear. Aren’t they beautiful.?” Anna had nodded, her eyes full of spark as she looked at the models. Noticing their shiny hair, perfect smile and posture. They had such beautiful poise and were skinny. It was beautiful, their thighs, the ones that wore shorts in the brisk weather, were the perfect size. Their tummies didn’t perk out, if you were close enough you might see their ribs jutting out. Anna looked up at her mother.

“Mommy, I wanna be like them when I grow up. Skinny and beautiful.” Her mother just smiled, she didn’t even think of it growing to an obsession of her daughters; to be skinny and beautiful.

Anna found herself smiling as she entered her door, and walked to the kitchen. Where a tomato smell entered her nose, and her smile fell down. Disgusted she walked to the pantry and grabbed a bottle of water, and told her mother she wasn’t hungry as she walked upstairs to her room and downed 4 diet pills and put the water on her nightstand before falling down upon her bed and shutting her eyes.

You didn’t think it would happen, mom. Did you? You didn’t think that I would be on my way to being skinny and beautiful. You thought it was a phase, only a phase. I will be a model, and be perfect. Just wait and see mother.